Hi,

I'm not getting enough sleep.
Last night I was sitting at the computer and working on my father's manuscript until 4:00 am.

I feel asleep and saw something / someone (not necessarily bad -- not necessarily good.)


My living space feels crowded right now.
Since that moment last night I feel like there are a lot of people in here /my space. I told them to go away and leave me alone. They are still here. I am trying to ignore them. Tdoc says that I am in control.

I'm not feeling in control.


This might be about my parents' visiting.



I want my living space clear.


I was free of this for many years. Now it came back.
M.

Hi,
I called tdoc's answering machine at her office.

Told her what was happening and to call me back.

She gave me her cell phone number when I got out of the hospital in July but I have not used it since then and I lost it anyway.

M.

Tdoc returned call.
She said I sound really tired.

She did a slow breathing exercise.
Also body relaxation over the phone.
She reminded me that I know how to do this for myself.
And that I can feel safe.

We made an appointment with her Wed evening.
I have her cell phone number.

M.

i just saw your post. how upsetting..how very upsetting...you pushed yourself too much darn it...you will be all right. can you stop with the manuscript? is there a medication you can get right now? i am so sorry you are suffering so much. i hope your husband and family are understanding.
hugs and warmth
bobby

Thank you Bobby.
I took notes during tdoc's phone call.
I can see her words back to me when I need them.
Klonopin would help but I would fall asleep and be out for a few hours. And I would feel drugged up.
Sleep would be nice.
M.

I hate to think you are suffering when you don't have to. Isn't your mind telling you you need to reduce as much stress as you can now so going to sleep would be great?
bobby

Oh Mari, I'm so sorry you're having trouble. I hope you are able to get some sleep soon. I am so sorry you're having this problem right now. I hope it's just from stress of having your parents come to visit. I wish I knew what to say Mari, but I'm here and I'm listening.

Mari, maybe sleep would be good? I hope you feel better soon.

barbara

Hi,
You are good to have here with me.
I am going to take a nap.

Hubby and Mom are unpacking some boxes. Dad is watching TV. We have to be at dinner in a little while.

M.

i'm so sorry things have precipitated like this.

i think the feeling like all the people are around comes from many things:

you have had
- movers coming in and about
- kitchen installers/counter gluers around you
- and now parents around

when we do not get sleep - especially the deep cycles, we do not process our daily activities properly. i think you are suffering from severe sleep deprivation. and i think that correcting this needs to be TOP priority, at any cost. work, manuscript, hubby, parents... all come second. this is what i think.

i hope your dad can be understanding about the manuscript. i hope you feel ok about talking to him about deferring that. he sounds understanding ... from past posts.

i want you to feel better Mari.
and the way i think you can feel better - not just momentarily or for an hourish, is with SLEEP. please get it, ANY way you can.

((( hugs )))

~ waves ~

(currently being kept irritably awake by town festival. (from my condo, w/ all windows shut, i can hear about 2, sometimes 3 "concerts.") well, at least, it will end at 2 am... supposedly. i am not sleep deprived tho. it is just making all of my nerves jangle and i hate all of the musics.)

i have repeated impulses to go down there and yell obscenities at them, about them, and about their so called "entertainment," but i would probably just get arrested, since it's the town fest. i will have to do earplugs and extra meds much as i hate that.

sorry... vent there... sigh. better than acting on it.

BUT MARI.

GET SLEEP. PLEASE.

DROP MANUSCRIPT.

TAKE KLONOPIN.

AND KNOCK YOURSELF OUT!!!

AND REPEAT UNTIL FEEL MUCH BETTER.