Or post here. Keep track somewhat somehow.

M

i am scared about going to the center tomorrow
about having a certain appointment before wednesday (pdoc appointment)
about if they will accept me
about how soon they could see me ... since i am starting this lithium which may even be inappropriate

and

about seeing pdoc wednesday
telling him i will not be back.
and not staying but for maybe the 5 mins it takes to do that
i do not want to answer questions
i do not want to engage him at all
i do not see that it will lead anywhere good



~ waves ~

Waves,

I understand about being scared.
The best thing I can say is that be scared and do the first step anyway.

OR

Ignore the feelings of fear and focus on the first step.

All of the rest is not happening. Tomorrow you are going to do the first thing you list.

Mari

I am sorry you are scared sweetie.
((((((HUGS))))))
take it just one day please just one day.
make a list then cross things off.
I wish I could go with you.
Are you now questioning the lithium? It sounds like a good idea.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

yes Bizi

i am questioning the lithium as an add-on, for a mixed mood. more depakote might be better. or some zyprexa even though it will make me fat. lithium is not first line for mixed moods. it is not like i am on litihim and adding depakote to help with mixed aspect. i already have the depakote. i was reaching...

my mood is still all over the place, but i feel so tired - it's very weird.

my hours are messed up and i don't know if i'll make it to the center today. i wish those stupid people would accept appointments by phone.

tomorrow i want to call it quits with pdoc, regardless if i have an appointment at the center or not.

thanks for your post. I wish you could drag me there. I think I'd need dragging.

~ waves ~

i don't think i'm gonna make it today. it is already late. i have no energy not dressed not nothing. confused about buses to come back.

i got tired earlier last night/mornign but i still could not sleep i was tossing and turning. tomorrow is pdoc i can't do both things. the next day i can try to sleep earlier by taking a lorazepam it helps with this kind of "insomnia."

confused as to keep taking these pills or not too.

~ waves ~

Hi, Waves,

When you say "these pills," you mean the lithium, right?

What has changed since last week when you started on them?

Is the difference that you looked up your spread sheet and saw how much Depakote you took in the past and can take now?

Anyway, whatever you do, will still be o.k.

You are being careful and you are thinking things through and using evidence based decisions (spread sheet.)

Mari

Waves,

What you say in these two posts sounds like a good plan to me.

Mari

I am sorry this is so hard for you, yes I would drag you to your appointments if that is what you need right now. keep on keeping on can you reschedule the appointment at the center easily?
bizi

Dear Bizi

I do not have an appointment at the center.

I must go to the center, in order to make an appointment.

If that sounds bluddy daft, that's only because .... IT IS!!!
It's freakin' inane, bassackwards and provincial!

These people do not take phone appointments.
So I cannot make an appointment by phone.

I do not even know availability. I can find out nothing by phone.

waves
w.