Waves,

Yes, everything stinks.

M

I feel sorry for you mari, am sorry that every thing stinks.
bizi

Dear Mari,

I pray that somehow somehow the Klonopin thing will be manageable until you finish this batch of pills.

I am with you on attempting to just take the full dose at night rather than splitting it. That might work adequately. Klonopin's half life is long enough that it should work out ok.

Alternative ideas:

1. Your new pdoc wrote you a 1.0mg script already, right? Was that not fillable because insurance refused? Perhaps you could try to get that filled and keep these "weird" pills for PRN use?

2. If you must use the 2.0/0.5 combo: keep the morning pills in a second pillminder from the evening pills, and use words "morning" and "night" to label the pillminders. Or,

3. Without a second pillminder, keep the evening Klonopin in your pillminder and take the morning stuff directly from the bottle. Keep pillminder and .50 bottle together - rubber band or something, so you don't pick the wrong bottle accidentally.

I realize there is work involved with these ideas. I really hope taking the full dose at night works out. That would be easiest.

This all does stink. I wish doctors would be respectful of our existent treatment plans and sensitive to our needs. That 4-min pdoc was worse than pathetic.

Try to hang in there. You will find a way to make things ok. You are resourceful.

----------------------

How are things in other areas? When does work start up again?
Is hubby being supportive at this time? ... or at least staying out of your way?

Sending lots and lots of hugs, and good vibes. :hug::hug::hug:

waves

Dear Mari

I hope you are holding up ok. :hug::hug::hug:

BTW I love the Pearl Jam "Just breathe" siggy ...good to see that back. :)

waves

great ideas
 

Waves,

This is most excellent.
After reading this I half considered a second or a different pill minder:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Twice-A-Da...nizer/14089469

Then decided that is too much for me and would confuse me.

I sort of took your suggestions all together and mushed them into a plan that might seem more complicated but worked today (Monday).

I am going to stick to the 2.0 white pill at night (until it runs out) and use my one half of my 1.0 green pills in morning.
The morning is crucial. I need to get that dose right or the work day will be a mess.
I am used to looking for half pieces of the green pills in the am.

When I am done with the 2.0 white pills at night and can use two of the 1.0 green pills, I will feel comfortable using those yellow pills in the am.
(No chance of confusing yellow and white when the white is gone.)

I guess the result is that half of my day feels comfortable to me.

Yes, the new pdoc wrote the script the right way and I picked them up on Saturday. Still, I want to get rid of these yellow and white ones.

Hubby is relaxed because he has not been working as much as he normally does this time of year. He watches tv, goes to the gym, catches up with home things (bought a weed wacker and used it), sees his friends, cooks, and somewhat organizes his clutter.
Thus I am calmer.
I used to hate when he came and went throughout the day from this part time job to that job because he was hyper focused and intent on his tasks. Also he was kind of energetic and forceful in his movements from one task to the next. I would be a ball of anxiety (or anger) by the time he left again.

Lately he is more relaxed. And I am more relaxed (and not angry).

M

That is great, Mari! Well done, working out a pill scheme that "clicks" with how you had things set up before! :)
Yes, this makes good sense.

Plus there will be two of one kind, and one of the other kind in there, which could help.

Another thought for the 0.5 "phase" - kind of similar to your current plan - whereby you'd still use a 1/2 pill for morning, AND get rid of the 0.5's faster:

-- AM: 1/2 of a 1.0 mg pill
-- PM: four 0.5 mg pills

I am guessing green/white is easier to distinguish though. Yellow/white can be tricky I think.

I was once told to use an antibiotic tablet - I was a guest someplace - I took the pill from the wrong place and ended up KO for over 24 hours from taking a high dose of an antipsychotic! :eek: See there was a bottle with little yellow pills and one with little white pills, but I was not aware of both. I'd been told the antibio pills were white, but these looked... "white enough" sigh. :cool: I was an idiot not to read the label but I had not been told the drug name anyway.

This is important! I hope you have a good day today! All of it! :hug::hug::hug:

I am glad to hear this! More relaxed is excellent! Not angry is super, also!

I think I get where you're coming from too.

When I am vulnerable - and that can be often - I am often bothered by my parents' antics. My mom tends to be hyper when she is getting ready to go out or doing things - bouncing between tasks. My dad does the whole hyperfocuseed thing can get annoying too when decides something has to be done now because he has no patience (lots of tolerance, but zero patience).

I hope you feel better in other ways soon.

waves

Mari

I'm so glad everything is working out.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

glad that you r hubby is less anxious, makes for a better life for you.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

pdoc
 

Hi,

Pdoc wants to see me again in two weeks.

He assumed that I did not do the blood work because he could not find it.
I told him my internist and I had already seen it so he had it somewhere.
After reading it, he said blood work was excellent.

He asked the same dumb questions as last time:
racing thoughts
thoughts of harm
seeing things. . . .. . and so on
Then he asked them again. My answer was always no.
I told him I was sleepy, depressed, and agitated (obviously agitated -- physically agitated with lots of movement).


He asked me to rank my mood from 1-10. I told him 6 but this was the first time I gave a number to one of these stupid questions because they are USELESS from someone like me who does not think in numbers. I usually decline / refuse to answer questions like that on a number scale.

I was sleepy and physically agitated and tried (but he does not listen well) to tell him about sleep issues.
His response was to announce that he was scripting Trazadone. :eek: (And isn't it an SARI?????!!!!!! :mad:)
I shook my head, raised my voice and said "no" and tried to explain some more.
He is concerned that I do not have a therapist.
He started to think about ones that might be in my neighborhood but dropped that for now.

He said we need more time for the Lamictal and he would see me in two weeks. This session and apparently the next one will be 10 mins.


One of the young residents from last time (Dr. So and So) was there. He looked pathetic and sleepy.
The chairs in the room were set up differently so I was sitting close to the pdoc's desk. Then I moved the chair even closer and put my pen and some paper on the desk in case I needed to take notes -- less formal arrangement than last time.


Mari

massaged feet
 

Hi,

I fell asleep sitting on the couch for about 30 mins.

Later I still felt not really o.k. so I asked hubby to help with the night meds. I took the pills out of the pill minder and asked him to check to see if they matched the picture on my phone.

I have work to do on the computer but I am going to decline and do it tomorrow or whenever because I do not care about much right now and I think I should make myself available to sleep . . . ..

Tomorrow is a 10 am meeting that I might to to if I get up in time and can iron a shirt.

I kind of gave my feet and hands quick a quick pedi/mani and then rubbed them with unrefined coconut oil.

Mari