The traumatic brain injuries,and the stress from moving are probably the reasons for the lack of memory. The PTSD is a difficult thing to live with. That's why you need the space from other people.

I hope that you have a good night. BF

Hi,

That is good that the house trip helped you recognize the need for boundaries and that you communicated that need.

Re memory issues: Sleep and meds could be the cause, but other things could be going on as well. I find that I am taking pictures on my phone a lot these days so that I can return to what I was doing the day before.
In a way, the pictures are also saving me stress. Instead of worrying about what I am supposed to remember, I can look through my pictures to see what happened. The pics jog my memory.
Otherwise I am living every moment wondering what I will need to remember the next day or a few days from now.


That is lovely. You live in a good place where you can have safety and freedom.

Mari

Thanks BF, Waves, and Mari--you guys always make so much sense. I think I do need sleep and rest etc.... But I am restless too. I need groceries from being away from home and haven't gone to resupply because I just couldn't. I just don't want to be in the urban area anymore. The plan was that I am supposed to go between the rural and urban until next March when I put my house on the market. I was so at peace out there in the rural no one knew me and I liked it so much. I don't think I will make it until next March. I want to go now. I want to cry just thinking about it. I felt so much safer. It is all so green and lovely, less buggie, less humid, much less busy and so much safer.

Today I shopped a bunch on line at 0300 this morning. I know it is because I am so put of sorts and I am looking for comfort.

Life is so much more complicated than it used to be.

Thanks guys.

Hi,

Can you buy groceries on line?

I think you are doing great. You are making plans to sell the house and move to a better locale.
In the rural area will you have convenient access to medical facilities?

Do you have to prepare your house to sell? I hope not. Some realtors make suggestions and give their people work to do like a fresh coat of paint or moving out some stuff.

I can appreciate that, especially the less buggie.

Mari

I have lived here for 5 years, the longest time I have lived any one place my entire life! That being said, it does need some paint and trim work, I have some nail pops, and it needs new carpet in the basement. I am just going to offer a flooring allowance so I don't have to deal with it.

I have been taking the time to do things like today I super cleaned the fridge. I sort things to donate, sell or dump as I see things. When I get tired of the house stuff, I turn to retirement stuff or medical board package stuff, trying to take it all in stride.

Have a good night Mari.

moving is such a big job, good that you are starting it... good for you!
bizi

Wow I'm totally impressed! You are really on top of this moving thing.

I am excited for you, too. The new place and environment sounds wonderful.

waves

Latuda got its identifier recently per my psychiatrist. So no more trials. It is identified as a medication for BP1 and schizophrenia. That is a loose description of what I know about it. I do know it is the only thing that has brought me this far in all of this. I am still. Anxious and depressed and somewhat flat as opposed to being my old jovial self. My friend tells me my sunshine has dulled up a bit. On the other hand the depression doesn't seem to be as bad either. I got dosage increased to 60 MG today so I hope if even better!

Have a good night guys.

I am glad that you are seeming to be responding to this medication.
bizi

Good news! I hope you continue to feel better!