Drank 9 beers yesterday starting at 1;30pm before my hair appointment then stopped by whole foods for a quick beer there before heading home to cook tacos for hubby before he left for his gig, he plays jazz guitar for the big band here called the Sky liners. He looks good in a tux!
Then proceeded to drink the rest over the next 6 hours while being on line in a chat room for a lot of that time. The SMART recovery chat room. A place for people who want to stop their addictions. So was hypocritical being there contributing while slowly getting drunk.
sigh
today is a new day. My binging is getting out of control. I am getting out of control. I really need to quit drinking. I will have to lie to my psych doc again which I hate doing. My weight is up so that is not good. But I know that I can bring it back down if I want to, have done so many times before. Yo yoing is hard on this body. I am working today seeing 2 clients.
I need to get going, woke up at 1130 and am still in my jammies.
I feel fine this morning.
I took 1 mg of klonipion last nite and 100mg of benadryl so that I knew that I would sleep.
There are 2 beers left in the house. I am not going to drink today.

My husband drinks and buys me my favorite beer. I need to ask him to not do that. Drinking seems to be the most obvious common interest that we share...need to live life and have fun with out alcohol.
My life is boring and drinking is something to do.
I have no life.
I will stop drinking until my new york trip with my folks. I should stay dry until my florida trip with hubby middle of August...that is always a drinking weekend, where we drink bush whackers and hang out at the tiki hut bar right next to our room overlooking the water. Pensicola beach. WE eat and drink and have fun, walk on the beach at night. Looking forward to this.
A friend of ours daughter is in new york with her girl friends having a wonderful time on the high school graduation trip for 2 weeks. She saw phantom of the opera last night. She loved it!!!! We have seats up close so I am excited to see the show. New york will be fabulous!
bizi

yes
 

yes drinking is a problem with bi polar. everytime i have been baker acted was due to drinking. driving friends and family away too.

thanks for stopping by and posting to me.
and welcome to the forums.
bizi
Are you bipolar?
just curious.

well I drank and stopped at 3 beers tonight and am switching to water sweetened with carmel stevia...yummmmy!:)

It has been so quiet in here I feel that I want to apologize about the warning comments...sorry if I hurt peoples feelings. I guess I should not have posted what I did.
sorry.....:(
bizi

Bizi,

'Sorry that I have not been on the board the past day or two.

I am overwhelmed with a huge work deadline, depression, sleep deprivation, and some stuff.

I will be popping back in.

M

Dear Bizi, :heartthrob:

I have not tried caramel stevia.:) I suppose it tastes like caramel. Yummy.

My feelings get intense sometimes. It is usually not about anything anybody did. It usually has to do with times when I am completely overwhelmed.

==
I accomplished two things outside today.
1. made it to the lab appointment (Monday 2:00) for a blood draw for a zillion tests the mdoc wants.

I see her on Friday afternoon.
The lab people made it sound like they could be certain that she would have the results on Friday.

2. I did 10 mins on the arm bike and 50 mins of weight lifting. I did upper body (lats, delts, biceps, traps, rhomboids, triceps . . . . . )

Mari

Hi,

'Sorry to hear that.

Are you getting satisfactory treatment that is helping you stay out of the hospital? :hug::hug::hug:


Mari

Thank you for writing back mari!!!!
I am glad that you got some things done on monday.
I hope that also means you got some sleep sometime????
good luck with your mdoc appointment on friday.
know that I worry about you....:hug:
bizi

Got up early for me 6;15am, before the alarm. set at 8am. I threw in a load of clothes. Am starting to think about my trip to new york on saturday. IT is going to be hot there and I don't have too many clothes rather shorts that fit. I have a bunch of shorts that are too small. and one pair that I really like that fits just right since I put on 5 pounds. 146 this am. I am going to wear running shoes as we will be doing a lot of walking thru museums and such. Going to see 2 shows, phantom of the opera and the king and I. Looking forward to the trip. Jeff will be here to guard the house while I am gone. WE have had some issues with the house. Had a leak when we came home for our trip to Indiana. part of the driveway had been wet when it had been with out rain for some time so we knew something was up. So a plumber came out and thought the leak was coming out from underneath the slab so we called leak detectors they said it was right at the edge of the slab so we did not have to break the concrete( thank the universe for that). WE had a foundation man come out, he wants to do work on the house, dig/bury pylons 12-14 feet deep to stabilize the foundation, it has shifted 1inch difference from 13 years ago to 1 3/4 inch now. We have a large water oak tree in the back yard that needs to go and should have our neighbors large live oak tree trimmed that is hanging over our property, that should be done by an arbourist which is expensive.Both those issues with the trees are contributing to the foundation issues. We also have a large oak tree in the front yard (we just trimmed that tree for $1100)that could use a barrier placed between the house and the tree to prevent roots from going to the house and stealing water thus further destablizing the foundation. An inspector friend of mine came over and said we have a sink hole that is large that needs to be filled in. And our circuit breaker/fuse box for the whole house is unsafe. That should be our main focus right now. There are a lot of upgrades that need to happen if we are going to sell the house. We have aluminum wiring that should be copper, original galvinized pipes that have the life span of 45 years or so....that is the age of the house, built in 1970.
There is a large yard that we have been neglecting, over grown bushes and trees and flower beds out of control. In the house the kitchen is dated and jeffs bathroom is in need of refinishing.
The whole house/yard is in need of attention.
We need to decide if we want to stay there or sell the house as is.
WE are in a good neighborhood so could easily sell the house.
I would like a newer small patio home with a small court yard to take care of.
I don't think we can afford all of the updates that need to happen.
Will keep you posted.
bizi

Hi
On the radio i heard that your city was one of the happiest in the states!
bobby