Kay,

I was on amantadine in the 90s because I had been complaining about brain fog.
The pdoc said that early studies showed that it helped with Alzheimer's.

Congrats on the weight loss. :)



M

Thank you Mari :)
Did the amantadine help you at all? I guess that it's also used in Parkinson's disease.

I have my first appointment with my substance abuse counselor tomorrow. I have to arrive half an hour early because I guess there's a lot of paperwork to fill out. I decided to take a peek at the paperwork the counselor from drunk.org gave me…

OMG WTF!!! I thought I was just signing off on the narrative she read me, and that was bad enough. I should know better than to sign a blank page. There's a section by section summary of the interview filled with outrageous errors or misrepresentations… I hit the roof! I loved reading that I "frequently suffer from severe hallucinations," and seeing gross exaggerations of my drinking. Then I freaked out because I realized that my substance abuse counselor would be receiving this report….

So I called my case manager at drunk.org. I explained that their counselor who interviewed me might have had a hard time understanding what I was saying because of the complexity of the psych element in my case, but I didn't want my substance abuse counselor to view this report and doubt my truthfulness. I was 100% honest in that interview. My case manager said that I could send her an email with the particular errors, but she will make a note in my case file that there were errors in the report and both of us discussing the issue with my counselor could do the job, too. She said that it was good that I called because these things are important to note in my case file. I apologized for freaking out because I suffer from anxiety, but she said she thought I handled the situation well. I think she's FOS because I called before the klonopin kicked in.

My substance abuse counselor is a licensed therapist so I'm hoping she has a working knowledge of bipolar disorder, but then again, my case manager told me so is the counselor who did my evaluation :confused:

I had to take 1 mg of klonopin to calm down, setting myself up for a long nap in the near future. But when I wake up, I plan to just let this go. I think it is understandable that someone could get confused if they're not well acquainted with bipolar disorder. If this counselor has issues understanding it, we'll just have to take things slow. It should be much easier for me to explain things since my appointment will be at 1 vs. 4:30pm (without a nap).

so sorry that this happened, glad that you caught the errors and were able to make that call.
Hope things go ok for you tomorrow.
bizi

Kay,

I do not know whether the amantadine helped me. I did stay on it for years in case it was helping me.

Are these the people you are dealing with:
~drunk org counselor
~Substance abuse counselor / licensed therapist
~Case manager


Geeze. It almost sounds like you need a lawyer with you at these meetings:
The folks who focus on the drinking do often miss the psych.
I applaud you for your stamina and attention to detail in getting these things right.

Yep. Be the teacher.

Good luck with the appt today. I am glad that it is at a good time for you.

M

Both the counselor from drunk.org and my substance abuse counselor are licensed drug and alcohol counselors as well as licensed therapists. Under my case manager's email heading it just says "care coordinator." I think if she had credentials, they would probably be there.

I am going to ask my substance abuse counselor directly how familiar she is specifically with bipolar I disorder because of the differences that exist between hypomania and mania and the psychosis element. I don't have a problem with teaching. I'd just rather do it in advance because it I think things get convoluted when you try to do it along the way. However, I would have preferred to do this on a day when I didn't wake up at 5:30am.

I'm not worried about speaking with her. What does worry me is having to answer standardized questions about my drinking. My drinking pattern was never consistent because I mainly binged when I was having an episode, and I never know when they're talking about. For example, I only drank 1-2 beers a month for 4 months in 2015, but in 2014 I had at least 6 episodes including one episode of mania that lasted from September to December and they all were associated with drinking...

I know I'm not the first person who's had this issue. A lot of people without bipolar disorder are binge-drinkers, too. They must have a hard time describing their drinking patterns and answering those questions- they just don't have all the psych **** to further complicate things.

I already have copies of the letters from pdoc and tdoc in my purse so I won't forget them. I'm sure everything will go fine. The counselor sounded very nice on the phone, and my case manager said that they have worked with her in the past and all the clients liked her.

how did it go?
bizi:o

Kay,

This makes sense --- to have the conversation about definitions and terminology and time periods clear before the question/answer period.


What you describe sounds like bipolar to me and would be understandable to anyone who was familiar with bipolar.
It is also consistent with the inconsistency of bingers.




M

My counselor is a very nice lady, but she doesn't seem to understand I have my own therapist. She said she wants to help me have a happy meaningful life or something along those lines. I reminded her I was there for substance abuse counseling, but she said that was part of it.

I asked her how familiar she was with bipolar I and she said "very," but she refers to hypomania as hypermania. I told her I wanted to start off by telling her why I stopped drinking and while I did tell her my drinking was mainly binging associated with hypo/manic episodes we never really got off the topic of bipolar disorder because that's all she wanted to talk about. Most of the conversation was restricted to the events leading up to my s/s attempt until the present, but we discussed how my bipolar disorder has always been very active but it was not as destructive when I was working because I had an outlet.

She doesn't think alcohol is really my problem… You're gonna love this…

She doesn't really like the idea of me going out alone or getting my license back yet because I've only been out of the hospital for 6 months and could have another episode :eek: :eek::eek: She was concerned I wouldn't ask for help if I had another episode even though she had the letters, I told her about how closely I stay in contact with pdoc, and explained all I had done in the last year to manage my bp.

I think that is a major overreaction and it shows that she lacking in the "understanding bipolar disorder" department. However, I did not say that. She said she did not want to upset me. I very calmly said she had and I said that I thought she was being discriminatory based on the fact that I was bipolar… people with bipolar disorder can have episodes at anytime and they shouldn't be locked away. I reiterated the progress I had made and repeated how close my relationship with pdoc is multiple times. She repeated her concern that I would have another episode multiple times.

Although she has these concerns, she asked me how many sessions drunk.org had recommended and she told me she always does the minimum. So, I think that she will ultimately will discharge me after 6 sessions. But if she writes in her notes that I shouldn't be driving for any reason, that could be damning.

I feel like I am constantly putting out fires!!!

Pdoc is my primary provider. She knows my history and is more qualified to make assessments about my mental health than a therapist I will only be seeing for a few visits. I see her on the 22nd. I'm going to ask her to write a letter to or call this counselor to let her know how diligent I am in reporting all my psych symptoms and I shouldn't be precluded from driving because I'm bipolar. I have a feeling both my pdoc and tdoc are going to be outraged over this.

I also need letters from 2 people that say that alcohol is no longer part of my life. The first one is no problem- my husband. I know this is sad but… I haven't seen a friend or family member (aside from my father who lives in Florida in the winter) since March. But I've been in pretty close telephone contact with one of my friends who lives nearby and I think he'll write a letter for me.

I'm afraid to take the amantadine while I'm in substance abuse counseling. These counselors are supposed to be assessing your threat to reoffend. Since my bipolar disorder triggers my drinking, and I was bagged for DUI while I was manic, I have little doubt she would view another episode as a threat to reoffend. If I have another episode and I can't hide it, I don't see this lady releasing me from substance abuse counseling no matter what I do. There are even cases where counselors recommend licenses be suspended indefinitely. It would be hard to fight.
I'm going to have to do a lot of research on amantadine and talk to pdoc before I make the decision on whether or not to take it. I find it incredibly unfair that I'm finding myself in a situation where an arbitrary person is having influence over a decision like this…

She's a very nice lady but rather than feeling like she's a person who will pull me up, she's pulling me down. If she had it her way, she'd lock me away, and she may be robbing me of the opportunity of trying a med that can improve my life by reducing my fatigue because I'm afraid of ruining my chances of getting my license back.

I really can't wait for your comments on this one...

she sounds like a do gooder who does rotten. how awful.
bobby

lol. Sounds about right in this case… bordering on the ridiculous.

The usual dose of amantadine is 100mg twice a day. I called the pharmacy to ask what dose my neuro ordered… 50mg in the morning… very conservative. I called and left a message for pdoc asking if she thought the med was safe for me to take. When she calls back I will mention my appointment with the substance abuse counselor.