I'm glad that the programs for Will and Derrick seem to be headed in the right direction. :)

Good luck at your appointments Donna!

Its a waiver meaning that we will chose a case manager, and a service provider. Who will then help find some providers to work with him. I'm thinking about
seeing about using some of the hours a month for Music Therapy because
he loves music.

I'm also working on finding someone that will help take him out in the community.
Which would be nice, then he could go to movies and things without me or Dad especially as he gets older.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Okay, I spent the weekend helping my mom. I'm not sure how long
she can stay home by herself. She really isn't wanting to go
to assistive living but that would be best for her. Because she could
keep the house for now at least. If not for a few years.

She really has trouble getting around. And I'm worried like especially
one of my sisters that she will fall. I'll go back this next weekend.
Then hopefully again in a couple of weekends.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Is she getting PT? Using a walker?
bizi

Yes to both. PT twice a week in her home.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Well we are getting bad weather right now. Blizzard conditions and somewhat hear already. Ugh, I don't like this weather.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I'm sorry you have to worry about your mom living alone… add that to your list. I'm sorry that she is having a hard time and is facing the possibility of losing some of her independence. I'm sure she is aware of that, and that must be so hard. Please give her a :hug: for me.

Does she have LifeLine, or a similar system? I have one I use for when I shower, and when I have bad days, or hit rough patches.

I'm sure PT has at least evaluated the safety of the apartment… do they have anything to say about her safety in general?

That is a good suggestion kay and I am glad that you have one...though I wish you would wear it all of the time.:rolleyes:
bizi

I'm not exactly sure what my mom's is called. But she has something
that helps when she is home. I'm also glad she has it. Its from
the department of aging in her county. She gets or could get meals
also. But right now she is trying to decide who to try.

She didn't like the last one she had.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

sounds like she is getting home health.
hope she likes them.
bizi

She really enjoys the people coming for her home health. She is also
going to start getting help from area of aging for the mornings she
doesn't have the home health. She needs help dressing and getting
her breakfast. So the 5 mornings she doesn't have them, she will
have this other group come help and can even give her a bath, or help
with household chores. Its like 2 1/2 hours a day.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I'm glad she's getting all that help, Donna. I hope it eases some of your worries about her being alone… especially in regards to bathing. It must be nice for her to have the company, too.

I started out working in home care. I loved the idea that I was helping people stay in their homes, and it was nice to get to know them outside institutional environments like nursing homes or hospitals. I didn't get paid a lot, and my agency didn't offer health insurance, so I ultimately moved on to working in hospitals.

The visiting nurse home health aides are usually restricted to personal care, but through elder service agencies they can sometimes help with food shopping and laundry in addition to what they're already doing for your mom now.

Yep Kay.

The nurse sticks to just medical type care. The health aide, is a bath one.
But she has like 1 to 1 1/2 hours there at least. She will do laundry also.
Which has really helped my sister's. Because they just don't have time
to go see her all the time.
I believe she also will help with breakfast if mom really needs something
out of refrigerator that is already ready.

She is considering Assisted living also now. They are working to see if
she can get a medicaid waiver that would pay for her to stay there.
Also then the nurse and aide would still go there and the therapist. Until
its not ordered by the doctor.

donna :hug::grouphug:

Ps. Update on me in the weather thread. I posted wrong place. To long to redo.

My grandmother moved into assisted living a couple of years before she passed away. She was resistant to the idea at first, but she ended up loving it there. It was really nice for her to be around other people instead of stuck at home alone all the time. We did have home health care in there, and later hospice, when she needed it. The main drawback is the expense… very, very expensive.

Kay
The expense is where one thing on the medicaid waiver would help.
Also she can get veterans benefits. But i think she is worried it
wont be enough with just that.

We would keep her house so she could go back and forth for at least
a while as she wants. Also to have the big parties there. Its much
easier for her to get in and out of.

Her house also needs lots of work done. So this would help too. With
her in assistive living we could have people doing what needs done.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Hi, Donna,

I hope that you and your group are well.

M

Been to Kokomo again for the weekend. I see some stronger times for my
mom. That is so good. Especially since she had a bad water leak, and it
looked like it was going to be a long time to fix. Turned out we kept calling
around and found someone who could fix.

Whew, I went to the nurse practitioner on Friday. Had good visit. Got
all meds ordered and have another appt. So I'm happy.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

That's a relief, Donna.

M

I'm happy to hear that your mom is getting stronger.,, that must ease your mind about her being at home alone a bit. I hope that means she can stay at home for a long time now, but I am glad that everyone's on board for that move to assisted living when and if necessary.

Keep the good news coming Donna! :)

She says I'm the only one that really visits my sisters don't have time it seems.
I know the one sister really gets on her nerves, so she would rather she not stay long. One sister has the eye issues, and the teens with autism and other issues. So its hard for her to get there other than when school is going on.
The other sister uses her working as the reason she isn't available to help.

That one we knew all along. I have three nieces that have stayed with her and come to visit a lot too. But they all have kids or jobs.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Just an FYI donna,
make sure your mom has a living will. something in writing what her medical wishes are should she be hospitalized. Would she want to be given cpr or put on a vent? tube feedings if that should arise. Unless it is in writing you will fight your other siblings about what is best for your mom.
If she decides a head of time then that makes your job easier if ever you should need that. We had that happen with jeffs dad. His mom was contemplating putting a feeding tube in but jeff dug up the living will and it said no feeding tubes.
So she had to honor his wishes.
bizi

I have a living will because of the MS. I know that if it was written now someone may question it down the road, but it was written years ago when my sanity wasn't in question. It's very specific (because of potential scenarios witnessed while working in hospitals). My husband, sister, and brother each have a copy and they've agreed to respect my wishes. My family is so dysfunctional I don't want any infighting and I don't want anyone to feel badly because they make a decision to do/not do something. I didn't leave much left up to the imagination.

I imagine she does. But I'll check on that.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Kay, Your post made me think about the living will in a new way.
--
I had been thinking that I could trust Hubby and would put off dealing with it for a while.
Your talk of siblings made me think about how Hubby could go first and
I could be left with a bunch a siblings squabbling -- or worse, not paying attention.

--
I had a close friend in a diabetic coma on a feeding tube for seven or eight days. The docs were not hopeful.
I was sitting with her one morning when she came out of it -- I could tell because she was moving differently and her eyes opened.
I took her hand and told her she was in the hospital and being taken care of.
I asked her to blink twice if she understood. I had her do it again. She blinked twice.
I did not alert the doc. I did call her family and they came about 90 mins later and eventually alerted the doc (everyone
thought that I had already alerted the doc)
By the time, the doc saw her several hours after "waking up," she was able to squeeze his hand when he asked.


---
This seems like a legal mess I have to deal with and pay for -- it is hard because I do not even know what I want for myself.
I wonder if lawyers specialize in this or if the documents are pretty standard for most people and not too complicated to think about.

========
My brain is so f-ing addled that I cannot even handle a call about my bank card. And showing up in person is worse.


=========
Postscript:
Never mind. I am so overwhelmed. It's a wonder I can figure out how I can find clean enough clothes to put
on so I can drive to work.


M

sorry to overwhelm you mari, hope you have an uneventful day.
bizi

Lawyers can ask you standard questions (life support, tube feeding, etc) without getting into minutia. There are also more in depth issues that you can get into if you have an experienced lawyer and that is the direction you want to go in.

My will is very specific because of my experience, but not everyone goes into such detail. My lawyer said some people make really odd requests.

Mari, You can get a very basic living will form at office depot for little money.
bizi

I have had a interesting few days. I'm not sure what all is going on
with Derrick.

Sunday night after he was dropped back at his apartment, some smell
in the hall caused problems. We ended up at the er for almost 3 hours.
With a severe headache and things.

Then last night he didn't work. After having come home with my husband
and I. Then last night while we are celebrating our anniversary. I think
he had a seizure in his sleep. Because after he got up when we came
back he was really sore. He looked better this morning. But just a while
ago he started having problems walking again.

So we decided no work tomorrow either. I'll take him to town on Thursday when I take Will to speech.

He is hoping to feel well enough for Friday at work.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

sending prayers
bobby

sorry that things are not going very well right now....
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I hope nothing else comes up and Derrick is better before Friday :hug::hug::hug:

'Sending get well vibes to Derrick.

M

Derrick was doing lots better today. He went back to his Apartment.

Should be good for work tomorrow and Speech.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

Well I've spoken to Derrick twice since leaving him at his apartment.

Last night I was sorry I was so far away. But knew even if he had
been here I'd have given and done same things. He noticed his
bruise from IV was really hurting and big I guess. I told him that
it was normal, to take some tylenol and use ice. I then worried
for a while about whether I should have loaded grandson up and
went.

This morning he called about something for speech, and I checked on his
bruising and pain. He was feeling better. And then was headed to speech
and work. He also will keep taking tylenol and using ice as he needs to.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

You are a good woman donna, please don't doubt your self.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Thanks Bizi

I only doubt myself which is normal. Because its so new. But
I do know he has to learn on his own. Same as all our kids.

He will do much better getting into the world than my other two
even did to a degree.

I will be going to see my mom, planning at this point to take Derrick
after the fundraiser tomorrow.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

It must have been so hard not to load Will up and head over to Derrick's to check out that IV site, but you did the right thing by giving him great motherly advice and letting it go. You're such a good mum :hug:

amen
bobby

Thanks Ladies

I took him to Kokomo with me this weekend after the fair I had on Saturday.

I had learned he was feeling better, and the ice was working well.

He is still lower on his energy, and had to ask to be moved on Friday.
But they are good about listening to him.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I'm glad Derrick's feeling better :)