[OhKay]

On Thursday I wrote:

Aside from the GAD, I feel like I'm where I need to be right now as far as mood and my other anxiety disorders since adding back that 25mg of seroquel. I'm just hoping it stays this way.

But I've over shot my good mood with just that little bit (25mg) of seroquel and all of a sudden I'm showing signs of depression again. I need that 25mg to control my intrusive thoughts and PTSD symptoms, but I guess it's just too much otherwise.

I'm anxious, emotional, and may be a bit overly sensitive. I'm also teary, but usually can't cry at all. I slept a lot Thursday, but I'm also sick or suffering from allergies so IDK.

I guess I'll call Monday to make an appointment with my pdoc. It's not an emergency, but I don't think it can wait until out next scheduled appointment next month. Usually I can guess what she's going to do, but I have no ****ing idea what she's going to do about this. When I reduced the seroquel by 25mg, the intrusive thoughts came back, and I can't take an antidepressant. I do not want to add another med. I take 5 psych meds already… enough's enough.

I haven't had a depressive episode in a long time, I can't remember how long it's been. It's just been constant hypomania and mania for so long.


It will be in the low 80s and a lot cooler today, and they are no longer forecasting rain, so I'll get my grocery shopping out of the way today. Yay!

[Dmom3005]

Sending you hugs Kay.

Donna

[OhKay]

I'm definitely dealing with a cold. I'm coughing and sneezing now. Mucinex DM is helping ease my symptoms. I had a fever of 100.5F yesterday morning and felt like ****, so I went back to bed at 11:30am. My husband didn't wake me up until after 5:30pm!!!

So, no grocery shopping- again. No shower either.

Despite all that sleep during the day, I went to bed at midnight and slept until about 7:30 this morning. I'm feeling much better than I did yesterday.

It's going to be in the mid 90s, but I have to do the grocery shopping today. At least my husband will be home, so I'm certain I will have help bringing the bags in, which is by far the worst part of the ordeal.

[bizi]

I hope you feel better soon.
And I hope that you and your pdoc can come up with a plan...can't remember..you have tried lamictal before?
bizi

[Mari]

Did you get the grocery shopping done, Kay?

Was the weather on your side?

M

[OhKay]

My psych meds:

Lamictal 200mg twice a day
Topamax 200mg pm
Seroquel 100mg am, 700mg pm
Gabapentin 400mg
Klonopin up to 3mg a day

The seroquel and gabapentin are the heavy hitters and are the only meds she usually moves. They're so strong, I don't know how much of an impact changes to the lamictal or topamax would actually make. My bet is she would reduce the gabapentin.

I haven't been quite as emotional or teary as I have been. I'm still really oversleeping though. I napped from 11-1:30 yesterday afternoon, went to bed at 10:30 last night, and slept until 9:30 this morning. I'm usually up anywhere between 5-7am (I don't use an alarm clock unless I have somewhere to be), and get 6-8 hours of sleep at night. My cold is better, so I can't use it as an excuse for last night's 11 hours of sleep. I guarantee you I'll need another nap sometimes today, too.

When I've been depressed in the past, I've either experienced severe insomnia or hypersomnia, and reverted to a reversed sleep cycle I just couldn't shake. My husband had major issues with my sleeping problems. I've worked really hard to get on, and maintain, a regular sleep cycle and I don't want sleeping to become an issue again.

I'm BPI, but I've been through significant episodes of depression too. I just want to nip this in the bud, but I couldn't get an appointment until August 29th. My pdoc's on vacation this week, but will be (fully booked) in the office next week and I can call for med advice. I will probably reduce the gabapentin to 300mg tonight because it has no effect on my anxiety disorders, but making a change would be powerful enough (but not too powerful) to shift my mood. I can up the dose right back up to 400mg if I start to have issues.


It was 98 degrees out yesterday, but I got my food shopping done anyway. I figured everyone would be hiding out at home, and the store would be quiet because of the heat, but it was a zoo. At least my husband carried in all the bags.

I thought the finger I jammed in the dryer was healed enough to take the nail polish off of it… it wasn't. It hurt so bad! I can't remember when I did it, but it was a while ago. I aggravated it, but it's not infected.

My social security check has been getting deposited into an account separate from our joint account for about 2 yrs now. My husband wants it to stay that way, but in my opinion, the account has served it's purpose. I want my checks to be deposited into the joint account because it's anemic, and I want to be able to track my spending better. As it is now, it kinda feels like I have an extra "X" amount of money to spend every month when I get it. I called today to change the direct deposit info despite his wishes, and there's nothing he can do about it. I will keep the separate account open with a couple of hundred bucks in it in case I have to leave at some point though.

[OhKay]

I managed to vacuum the apartment yesterday. I was looking forward to a shower afterwards, but we had no water again. So I sat in the AC in the living room in my underwear and a teeshirt to cool off instead. lol.

I had a 3 hour nap in the afternoon and never got to take that shower, because by the time I woke up, my husband had come home and had beaten me to it. After that, it was too close to dinner time to squeeze one in.

I told him that I was going to have my social security checks deposited into the joint account for now on. He wasn't angry. He actually seemed relieved. The deposits won't change until next month, so I'm going to transfer this month's money from one account to the other.



I lowered my dose of gabapentin from 400 to 300mg last night. I slept from 10:30pm-6:30am, which is my norm. I haven't noticed anything else, but it's only been one dose.

Given my history, I don't know if playing with my medication while my pdoc is going to be out of the office for so long is the wisest decision, but that's exactly why I'm doing it. I don't want to find out what this could develop into if left alone for that long. I know that many of you might choose to do things differently, but I scare the **** out of myself…

[bizi]

Kay, you know your body best....I think you are smart enough to recognize when things need to be adjusted, we will help if we can...
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Mari]

Kay,

How do you have no water again?

Is the landlord breaking the health code by not providing
running water?

Sorry.


M

[Mari]

Kay,

I admire your spunk (hope that is not annoying to hear)

'Good to take care of the money the way that is best. Happy to hear that it worked out.

And doing a little bit of your own medicating within your range sounds
o.k. Keep posting to us about that. It helps to have the "written record."

M