Bobby

I don't blame you for getting angry with her. If she was going to spend some time her own things she should have stayed longer and finished the things
she should have gotten done.

Now you have to wait till Tuesday to get them finished correct. Or will you
call the agency and let them know.

I would at least keep a list of the things she didn't do in case it continues.
So you can then report it later.

Donna

thank you. she comes on monday and tuesday i wish the anger would go away. i think i have to change and be more assertive. i might ask her to do more things like wash a couple of tops and bottoms. i give her a lot of things and maybe i should stop that and just throw them out. she knows i am a softy. i have stopped giving my neighbor good shoes i have bought from ebay that don't fit me but would fit her. when i have called her she doesn't return my calls. i just threw out two brand new pair of cole haan shoes that would have fit her. i think marci got upset because i didn't give her a chance to try them on.her feet are bigger than mine. i have been giving people the message to step on me. i am stopping now because i can't stand being taken for granted. i will now throw out clothes which i never really wear.in the past i have given them to marci.
if i had called her agency she probably would have been fired..
love
bobby

i just threw out a lot of clothes and plan to throw out more. i feel liberated.
can't wait to throw out more. all were from my spending binge on ebay.
except for books i think that finally stopped and i now have control over it..
i am still buying books. i know they would fit marci but i don't want to waste time letting her go threw them. no guilt. i didn't wake up depressed. i have been listening to the news since 5:30. the weather is turning so much of the us in crisis. i think it is terrifying me. we can't talk about politics so i won't.
love
bobby
i just threw out another big bag of clothes. i left them all in the incinerator room in case any workers in the building want them.

Bobby

I'm super proud of you. You need to keep liberating yourself with throwing
things away. Now if she comes Monday and Tuesday, go ahead and keep
going through things today if someone will take them for you today.

But don't go through things this weekend. In case you can't get them
taken till next week, so she doesn't get the chance to go through them.

I really think you need to keep doing this. And start keeping a list
of the things you give her to do. That she does do. And then if she doesn't
get around to something, right it down on a list of things she doesn't get done.
And then if it gets really bad let her agency find someone that really wants to
work for you.

Donna

if she asks i will just tell her that i donated them and not that i left them in the incinerator room hoping some worker in the building will take them i still can't find a part of bottoms i love. I will ask her to straighten out the mess I made with the remaining clothes. She has a routine but last tuesday she really blew it. I am also going to try to be neater. once i throw a lot of books away and throw out supplements i don't use that will make me feel better. i will throw away the supplements tomorrow. the agency has a lot of awful workers. they give them benefits but lousy pay.
fondly,
bobby

i guess i have to take it easy today. i am dizzy. i am so depressed and so lonely.

Yes take it easy and please work on not being dizzy. I don't know how to tell
you not to be. Hee hee, that is one of my big problems too.

So I totally get it. I really do. I just take it one step at a time.

Donna

i haven't been dizzy hardly ever. Do yo know what is causing your dizziness. it is not just getting up too fast or not drinking enough water. I am on two different blood pressure pills so i hope it is not that.
i spent a lot of time telling myself that God is always with me so I am never alone.i read that 22 percent of people are lonely.
now i think aby might have something wrong with her ear. she has been scratching a lot. i just wrote Robert to ask him if he would take her to the vet who is very close by and whom Robert also uses.. it is awful to be so needy.
fondly
bobby

i think my anger has finally gone away. aby stopped scratching her ear last night so i don't she has to go to the vet. if marci asks about the clothes i threw out i decided i would tell her the truth about wanting to straighten my apartment. i threw out this morning a lot of supplements that i don't use.
my anxiety is high. i still don't feel well and am running the ac even it isn't hot out. i tried not to use it yesterday when it was hot and my apartment was 80 degrees to try to save money. i finally turned it on because i was feeling so rotten. in the middle of the night aby was playing with her favorite toy-good sign

Bobby

For me I have always had a form of vertigo. As a kid and teen I was what we considered clumsy by falling. But as I got older it dawned on me I would get a little dizzy and not realize it. When I saw my doctor for migraines, I had chosen this particular one because he was known for being good for dizziness too.
So I wanted to talk to him about this also. He did some testing for this.
And determined it was a form that could be treated by doing PT with a special
person trained in standing and walking issues. And this was very good for me.
I remember being in this 2 to 3 times a week for about 1 to 1 1/2 years. I improved what I at the time believed to be 200 % And I was really good at telling everyone this. It also gave me the ability to start to realize I was getting dizzy and what to do when it was starting to happen. So I could hopefully keep from falling.
Now usually only if I don't be careful and get up and move really fast. I'm able
to stop my falling, or fall into a hole which I still do because I can't seem
to remember to look down at times. So I just really watch were im going.

I also have a couple of canes I use when it gets really bad, my therapist warned me to keep one with me as much as possible just in case. But I do pretty good with out it most of the time.

Donna