I just wrote an email to my friend from fifth grade, Like Alice, Kathy didn't respond to my fantastic news about Geodon. She knew that I thought a lot about wanting to die because I was tired of the depression. I am so disappointed and sad but not depressed. I even told her recently that I wanted to die and she made no comment or offered support. I asked her why she didn;t comment and she said she didn't know what to say. She had been through therapy for so many years Yes i know she suffered greatly when her daughter of two or three years old died from cancer but does have a wonderful marriage and does have a son and a granddaughter and grandson.
Her mother who died from cancer really liked me and kept on telling Kathy why didn't she read like me. Kathy saw the horrible interactions with my mother. Soon after my mother died Kathy called and went on and on how sad she was because a friend's mother died. I finally asked her if he had any family. She said he had a a wife, children and some brothers and sisters. I told her I had nobody. I didn't speak to her for at least five years after that conversation. I couldn't deal with her,
I just don't understand. She always brings up what a fantastic tennis player I was.She did offer to go with me when I had the booster and has offered to take me outside for a meal..
When I told aaron he sounded so happy for me. Robert said it was a miracle pill.

dear bobby,
I am glad that you were able to self sooth. finding activities that you like like reading.
I am glad that you are happy with the geodon.
love bizi

I am so out of my mind thrilled with Geodon.
love
bobby

i met my 22 year old social worker intern and her supervisor who was 42. It was hard because not hearing from alice and kathy are so puzzling. then i talked to my other social worker who was excited about Geodon.
I behaved when I ordered food. I bought a lot of cans flavored black cherry carbonated water. Three cakes really looked good. I didn't buy anything bad I really hope I can copy Bizi about controlling herself and not feeling deprived.
love
bobby
Today I forgot Monroe was a president eeks

Bobby

No reason to be upset for not remembering Monroe was a president.
He didn't have a lot of things he did. So wasn't a big deal if you ask
me. Also glad you got to meet the new intern and supervisor.

That is so great that they were appropriately happy. I wouldn't think
to much about the things the other two haven't said. I would shout
it from the roof tops for you that I'm so happy if it wasn't raining again.

I'm here for you. Its just hard for those that are older, that haven't dealt
with this to hear and deal with. Its kind of the thing with some people
who have the same response when they hear you have cancer. No response.

I know its not the exact same thing. But its something that happens.

Donna

I don't know most of the presidents.
bizi

thanks so much Donna, I have to be honest and I was very confused about your cancer. You seemed to write to me as if it were something mild but not cancer. I feel so guilty and stupid. Please forgive me. I want the best for you and your family. you are the sweetest person on earth.
How awful that must have been for you. I woke up very sad. I don't understand people.
love
bobby

i just read up on if you need a hip replacement. I don't think I do,
I can't believe my therapist Bruce who is 63. He told me he loves watching the Thanksgiving day parade. He loves it and watches it to one. I wonder if I am a grouch. He really does enjoy himself. His wife also is a therapist. He told me that a lot of his friends don't email him for a long time. I wish I weren't as sensitive.
I did pray today. The supervisor social worker also has the same Hebrew name that I chose, Batya. I was delighted. Her parents gave it to her at birth. When I think of my new Hewbrew name I immediately think of Suri.
I can't believe that Emma my social worker is only 22. She is Chinese and really sweet and beautiful. I am certain that I am too much for her. Who knows maybe she can offer me a new perspective.
This morning I thought the Geodon stopped working but it hasn't. so great.
love
bobby

oops i forgot a few more presidents
George Washington (1789–1797)John Adams (1797–1801)Thomas Jefferson (1801–1809)James Madison (1809–1817)James Monroe (1817–1825)John Quincy Adams (1825–1829)Andrew Jackson (1829–1837)Martin Van Buren (1837–1841)William Henry Harrison (1841)John Tyler (1841–1845)James K. Polk (1845–1849)Zachary Taylor (1849–1850)Millard Fillmore (1850–1853)Franklin Pierce (1853–1857)James Buchanan (1857–1861)Abraham Lincoln (1861–1865)Andrew Johnson (1865–1869)Ulysses S. Grant (1869–1877)Rutherford B. Hayes (1877–1881)James A. Garfield (1881)Chester A. Arthur (1881–1885)Grover Cleveland (1885–1889, 1893–1897)Benjamin Harrison (1889–1893)William McKinley (1897–1901)Theodore Roosevelt (1901–1909)William Howard Taft (1909–1913)Woodrow Wilson (1913–1921)Warren G. Harding (1921–1923)Calvin Coolidge (1923–1929)Herbert Hoover (1929–1933)Franklin D. Roosevelt (1933–1945)Harry S. Truman (1945–1953)Dwight D. Eisenhower (1953–1961)John F. Kennedy (1961–1963)Lyndon B. Johnson (1963–1969)Richard Nixon (1969–1974)Gerald Ford (1974–1977)Jimmy Carter (1977–1981)Ronald Reagan (1981–1989)George H. W. Bush (1989–1993)Bill Clinton (1993–2001)George W. Bush (2001–2009)Barack Obama (2009–2017)Donald Trump (2017–2021)Joe Biden (2021–)

Bobby

No reason to remember my cancer. I try to forget it too.

Its not something I like to have as a memory. Such as puppies
and kitties. And I can't even remember the date of my anniversary.
Which seems so odd. My sister just celebrated her 20th year not to
long ago from the cancer she had. But it almost killed her. And it
took her really hard work and not giving up to find it. It was something
I had never seen. If she had not persisted it wouldn't have been found
in time.

Donna

i still apologize for not understanding.. Great about your sister.
love
bobby