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Old 12-08-2007, 03:48 AM #1
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Trig where i am today

been thinking about you guys.

been making an effort
keep things going
everywhere
head heart body and spirit
hurt angry sad and spent.
hearing pain that will not relent.
personal medical emotional stress
off the scales and off camber

in a minute i'll be ok see
and back to substances
dance in the bathroom
and sleep, sweet sleep
my best refuge
from my demons and plague

The Refuge of Physical Death
is not forgotten but not sought
so i am rooted in life this time
tho a scarce presence in it
so a scarce present in me

see, i'm ok now... sorta. start to post again, i'll trip over my thinking about what thread to answer and feelings and i'll get all crunkled up again. yes, somewhere between crumpled and crinkled, so there sue me.

today
leave you with another


and a toadism
((( spare ))) for the room

crying ~ waves ~ trying
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Old 12-08-2007, 04:06 AM #2
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Heart Hi Waves

Dear Waves,
Thanks for the post and the hug.
'Sorry that you are crying. Stay with us on the planet. Please.

Mari
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Old 12-08-2007, 06:28 AM #3
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A lot of times now I say to myself...I love God...I trust God and Love wins....I try not to dwell in the negative pull of bipolar. The negative pull still wins right now but saying those thoughts are powerful.
I don't know when things will let up for you...but eventually when you cycle out they will....guard yourself with all your might...stay away from negative situations...if your parents try to nurture you, take it with open arms. try not to worry about tomorrow....try to get a handle on the past...conserve mental energy...
Love
Bobby
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Old 12-08-2007, 02:30 PM #4
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Waves


your in my thoughts Dear Waves.


David
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Take care of YOU


.
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Old 12-08-2007, 02:42 PM #5
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Red face

Dear Waves,
I am glad to see you are here....
though stumbling along.
and am sad to hear that you are so upset...though you are posting again so this is good.
I love your poetry...it patters at my heart.
wishing you some of our warm weather.....
and my sleeve to wipe your tears....
((((HUGS))))
bizi
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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 12-08-2007, 05:40 PM #6
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Glad to see you waves.

And I too love the poetry.

Donna
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Old 12-08-2007, 08:52 PM #7
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Default thanks

doing a bit better right now. alone, at night, in the quiet. it is a relief

until someone gets up and disapprovingly takes mental note of my being awake at an "inappropriate" time... sigh... so that they can make disapproving comments of my "inappropriate" daytime sleeping tomorrow.

Ironically i started this thread to say i couldn't post but it ended up sounding different. i wasn't trying to write a poem but it did end up more verse than prose, i suppose.

Mari, thanks for the "tether" i am being tossed about.

Bobby, i think those are good affirmations. i am having trouble with my cosmic credences, which brings all the more turmoil. i don't know if it might useful, but for now just pain. i will try to follow your advice about protecting myself from negative influences.

David, thanks, and glad you enjoyed the 'poem'

Bizi, also thanks and yes i guess that i broke the 'postal barrier' is a good sign. it's nice to know my poetry is patter pattery to you. that was touching. i sure could use the weather... but i'll still need a long sleeve!

Donna, thanks for the compliment also, and for thinking of me.



~ waves ~
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:35 PM #8
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Default the light will come again

waves

i thought i saw you tonight as i floated loose and lost here in the night
we are 2 weeks away from the darkest day of the year
but then the solstice
the coming of the light, again.

Let's hang on until the light finds us
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:51 PM #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mollymcn View Post
waves
i thought i saw you tonight as i floated loose and lost here in the night
we are 2 weeks away from the darkest day of the year
but then the solstice
the coming of the light, again.

Let's hang on until the light finds us

Dear Molly,
I am with you on the Solstice.
It is one of my happy nights.
From then on, the days get longer and the nights get shorter

Mari
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Old 12-09-2007, 06:40 AM #10
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good about staying away from negative influences. I was caught off guard recently and let them come in and then got physically sick
maybe you could try the positive affirmations in young child mode.
don't analyze and don't push and don't try to control....they might offer you some relief. The pain from depression is so powerful but affirmations are a place to run to...
Love
Bobby
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