I'm not sure if she's helping me or not Mari. You have no idea how mixed up I am. I'm not sure if I belong going there or any where for that matter. And I don't know about her heart or where it's at. Again she took another phone call when I was in there. I'm really doubting that she can help me and I'm just wasting my time.

No Bizi no touching allowed and I understand that, just a handshake. Maybe I do put on a happy face just to make her feel like she's doing her job. I just don't know about much anymore but I'm wearing myself out trying to analyze everything and everybody. I know I'm getting that urge to retreat from everything but I can't help it.

I'm taking 450 mg of lithium twice a day. I just took the evening one and I guess I'll just drink and call the pharmacy in the morning. Hooper's already in bed and I'm joining her soon.

Quote:

I know I'm getting that urge to retreat from everything but I can't help it. ...

what do you mean by this?

Dear Me BP?,

Remember that you are strong and brave. You have accomplished a lot. You have survived and overcome a lot.
Keep focused on the goal of staying strong and brave for yourself. You deserve all good things.

This therapist might not be the right person to help at this point.

Take a break from her if you think that will help you.
And start setting up an appointment with someone who does not push your buttons. I think you need someone who can respect your boundaries and who can read you better than she can.

Certainly, if she is making you upset during a difficult time, you can postpone some appointments with her until you are in a better place -- at least that.

But I would still look for a new therapist as a back up or as a possible new therapist (it's called "therapist shopping" ! ). Truthfully, there are so many therapists in this country that you could throw a stick down the middle of the street and hit one. They are all over and practicing all kinds of therapy.
You don't really have to move on yet. I am saying, perhaps, you can cool down with her for a few weeks and check out someone else in the meantime.

Also, you could avail yourself of some free group therapy and grief therapy and such. Contact nami.org. Also contact the hospitals in your city. They will have a list of groups that meet in their buildings/organizations.

You have the power to start down a better road than the one the therapist is laying for you.

M.