so im sorry i havent been able to update ive been working rediculously much.

i guess thats good cuz i got paid and im working to pay off my Disney vacation.

I haven't seen my pdoc in a while and I have yet to ask about heath insurance,and i think im starting to develop something.


I asked for early hours (like 7:30-3) but the manager said its not gonna happen....didnt give me a reason...but i found out the reason.

Its because this girl who was hired AFTER me and isnt even trained as much as I am in the pharmacy is getting those hours. The pharmacists complain that the girl doesnt know what shes doing and constantly asks questions and wont even try to find perscriptions. I know more stuff then her and I've been there longer. I can fill perscriptions on the computer, refill them, check if theyre ready, check if theyre sent from the doctor and everything. She CONSTANTLY asks questions to me and the pharmacists and we have other things to do, shes completely reliant on everyone else and it makes me mad because I work my @$$ off and I get terrible hours.


but back to this thing I think im developing.

I've been working later hours (2-10, 4-midnight, 12-8) and closer to the end of my shift (usually with an hour or so until the end of my shift) ill get VERY dizzy and VERY warm and ill turn bright red all over my face and neck/chest. I dont know what it is but the longer im at work into the later hours i start feeling worse and worse.

this whole week ive been working 12-8 and it hasnt been as bad but its still not good and on top of that i usually come home in a TERRIBLE mood i ge so mad over how the whole day has gone and even if the littlest thing goes wrong at work or someone bohers me even a tiny bit i get SOO mad/upset. and i feel terrible because i get out of work and mikes there and i feel like im taking out my anger on him and i feel bad cuz i dont mean to at all its just im so mad and have no way to get it out so i dont even know what to do.


I really want/need those hours not even becase it would be better for me in general but my body is legit telling me hey youre working to late which has never happened to me before.

I dont know I'd prefer to have a job with 'school hours' like 7-4 or something because for years and years and years tthats what my schedule was. i went to school from early until the early afternoon and now im working all sorts of crazy hours and with college being choose your own times, i CHOSE earlier classes. I dont even know.

im kinda back. im not doing okay. :(

tell us what is happening to you.
I am sorry that you are having a hard time right now.
I am glad that you have a job in this terrible economy.
beth

Hi,
Can you see a doctor if you need to?
Do you have some sort of medical insurance or some way to get it?
M.

my job is barely a job, i have the least amount of hours out of everyone in the pharmacy this week and next. all the pharmacists keep telling me i'm doing well and other people are doing not so well and that theyre confused as to why i get the least amount of hours. ive come in early when they needed me, covered for people on my days off ( one week i covered for 2 people and worked 14days straight no days off) sometimes ill skip my break if the pharmacy is busy and im not saying i deserve a medal but at least recognition would be cool.


im also starting to feel VERY lonely. im still with mike and we've been doing so well, but i have no friends, and nothing to do,and no where to go when were both not at work. ive planned a disney trip for may and its all i think/talk about because i dont do anything else. i spend 60% of my free time on a disney planning forum, and the rest of my free time is either lying in bed with mike or driving.

i wish i had health insurance. as of the 31st im not on my dads plan anymore cuz im not going back to school next semester, but CVS cut my hours just in time to screw me up, with the hours im working ill BARELY make 100 take home a week, and the health insurance (for even part time) is like 23 bucks a week, 23 out of 300 isnt bad but 23 out of 95 is bad.

on top of that, i live in Massachusetts, where on our taxes theres a spot to put in our health insurance card number, they verify it and if it doesnt work, you get a fine of over 900 dollars because its state law in MA to have health insurance....there is NO way i can afford 900 because i dont have health insurance (especially since i cant even afford the health insurance itself!)

i dunno where to go/turn to. i need health insurance now. i was trying to look into getting MassHealth or something, but i cant figure any of it out, i read page after page and everything just swims in my head and i cant even think about it all without getting dizzy.

i feel like im not even myself, i feel like im an unfun, corperate, cold, outer shell of myself and its driving me insane. i cant sleep, i hate eating, i just wanna get out/leave. the snow here is making me crazy, i have panicy thoughts/feelings almost daily. im litterally physically hurting all the time, i feel like the world is just trying to hold me down.


thats part of the reason im so involved with disney, when on the boards, or planning in my notebook, or talking about disney everything just stops. im actually happy and i laugh and smile, nothing really else does that for me, except mike sometimes.


i just want things to go back to the fun way they were, i know i said i wanted things between me and mike to be more serious and more 'married like' but i didnt want it to be so heavy all at once, i was hoping to ease into it a little slower but now were in the thick of it and i feel like im asking about ways to spice up my marriage its kinda weird.


i feel like mikes family looks at me like the young immature little girl and they constantly rag on me and make me feel terrible, then if i say it upsets me, they tell me oh lighten up thats how we do things around here, but when they bother me, i cant tell if theyre joking or serious.


my mind, body and heart hurt. :(

Meg,
It is so good to see you post. I was wondering how you have been.
I would check into staying on your dad's insurance as a disabled dependant and see what happens. If you had symptoms and difficuty with maintaining school, job, since you were under 18, or high school ? Maybe 21 then you should try to apply for Soc sec and assistance to ave coverage.

I had two children maintained as adults on step dads insurance because their disability was prior to 18...Even though they tried to work.
You need to see if this new symptoms is related to something like RSD, fybromyalgia or auto immunine, but it will be difficult to take care of yourself without insurance.
Ask your Dad o find out how to have you kept on for disability.....

Then apply everywhere for anything to keep you going while you find out health wise how to get better.
Hugs
di

Dear Meg,
Sometimes we do not get better all by ourselves. Just like it takes a village to raise a child, it can take a village to get better. You need to reach out and find help.


We need the help of very good doctors and family. If family can't handle it, we need to do even more for ourselves by finding professionals who can point us in the right direction.

Mari

Meg

I'm sending hugs and hoping that you start to feel better soon.

I have no exact answers. But I agree get dad to look into the
insurance its possible that you can stay on because of being disabled.

Donna

required health insurance
 

Hi,
I have heard that our next president might do a national health plan that is similar to the one in Massachusetts.



How much is the insurance????

Mari

so friday i was supposed to go to a focus group on Friday for CVS. I was told it was January 9th from 1pm-5pm and it was at the corprate building in RI (a good hr and a half drive from my house) I agreed to go and was to be paid for the trip and everything.

So Friday I went to Rhode Island and went to six different CVS HQ buildings. No one knew what I was talking about...so Eventually after an hour of putting around looking for this place, one woman got my Regional Pharmacy Supervisor on the phone and she told me the group was 2 days before. I essentially drove to RI for nothing.

and on top of that my poor car is so light, i felt like i was going to be blown off the road with the winds that day. i was terrified driving my car all the way down, and all the way back and it was all for nothing. almost had a panic attack on the side of the highway. it was all too much and it wasnt fair to me.

i dont even know anymore.

I recently looked at myself in the mirror and almost becme physically sick. i almost threw up looking at how much weigh ive gained (when i get anxious/stressed/upset i eat when i should be writing)

with my days off i just do nothing. i wish I had money for a gym membership or something.

I really want/need a pedometer. I wanna try the 10,000 steps a day thing and drink water.



I just need help. I feel myself hiding in a corner :(