Mari,
I am so sorry and can relate to something you said. About the friends that posted the nice things about your cousin. He touched their lives. I know forst hand how much these post help, maybe not heal so much as help.
I have the online guest book for my daughter still posted and I still find great comfort reading the supportive comments.

One day when I can handle having it in 3-D I will have it printed, memorialized forever.
I had a bad day missing De yesterday when I ran across a smiling picture of her in old mail I sorted.
So I stayed up crying, woke emotional, but I could not hold it in. I guess we need to let the grief flow out instead of letting eat us up inside.

I say a prayer for your family, and perhaps because of our connection, maybe our loved ones have met and watch over us together.
Di

I am also very sorry for your loss DeMarie. How long has it been? I'm sorry for your grief. I'm sure it's deep,and I hope that people are soothing your heartache. I'm sending hugs your way. Brokenfriend

Hi,
I appreciate your replies.
It's probably normal that when someone dies, people re-mourn the others who have died too. My mother is going through a lot of mourning.

When she does that she gets protective about family secrets -- some are about dark and ugly things that even now she says never happened -- others are harmless and common knowledge but not allowed to be discussed.
Did I tell you my mom is a total nutcase and that sometimes I am amazed that my siblings and I are more or less functioning on an almost normal level every few days???????!!!!!!!!!

And it is confusing to keep track of the freaking secrets because the family is huge and who the heck can keep track of who knows which secret and who doesn't??

Today I started to feel sorry for the people in the vehicles who hit my cousin. It wasn't their fault he walked out into traffic.
Crap. That probably messed up their day too.

I cried a lot. Then hubby drove to the park and I walked while he jogged. The exercise helped.


Mari

Dear Di,
Thank you.
I say a prayer for you and your family too.

I'm sorry you are grieving. I believe it is good to let it out when we need to like you say.

Mari

Hi Mari,
I thought about the other drivers last night, I can't even imagine how I would feel if it happened to me. I am always looking for darting kids and the elderly.
I am glad the walk gave you some lightening of the heart.

BF,
My DeAnne passed away a year ago January from a medication, a Duregesic patch leaked causing instant release. There was a recall two weeks later on the patches.

But the forum friends and support help me through my days.
di

Sending more hugs.

Donna

No words, just hugs Mari

I'm so sorry to hear that DeAnne died from that Duregesic patch. That's such a tragedy. I'm sending hugs your way. BF

Hi,

I don't know if this happens in other families but a death in my mother's family brings out everyone's worst crazy side.

My sis picked a fight with my parents last night. She was tired of their secrets and denials and kept pushing them until my mom cried. My sis is distressed too I guess.

And somehow my dad is mad at me. He thinks that I pushed my sis to hassle them.

Mari

Dear Mari:
Let him be as mad as he wants to be. It doesn't have to affect you. Just remember its the nutty coming out. And also be thankful that he doesn't live within walking distance.
How are you doing asside from the family drama?