[waves]

i don'tknow what's goign to happen
bt the other girl called the consultant boss coz yeasterdy my boss and i got into it again and i - having learned that sticking to guns can be key, have doen so... well but it degraded when i did not realize and suddenly he was being aggressive about the software deadline again like implications on my duties etc and i try to keep il lokey with replies like 'well i'm working on your stuff here, i'm not sitting here watching tv' but

afterthe fight

i was shaking from top to bottom.
i put my hands on the desk to stop from being ovious
could not think
furious

i spare you all the inbetweens and the amount of drugs and alcohol i've put down - mostly benzos and alkie in combo at times.

today i was barely past catatonic getting to work. my sleep med makes me feel peaceful , but this morning, i had sobs in my breath.

they "talked to me" today....................

they are going to "talk to my boss" tomorrow................

i actually thought about having a "heart-to-heart" with my boss................... may be risky. but also feels "honest."

i dunno. blatant honesty when not required has gotten me fired in teh past.

[mymorgy]

sending a zillion hugs
love
bobby

[RhondaIndy]

After having productivity issues in another position, I wouldn't disclose anything because the bottom line is that most bosses don't care to hear it. All they want is for their employees to be able to do their job. I would, however, contact and make an appointment with someone in your Employee Assistance Program. If you work for a large company and have been there for at least a year, you should have FMLA benefits that would cover time off for a chronic illness if needed.

I don't want to sound callous in your situation, but it just sounds really close to what I went through. Sometimes management will work with individuals if they're willing to work through the EAP.

Take care of yourself!

Rhonda

[waves]

Originally Posted by RhondaIndy

After having productivity issues in another position, I wouldn't disclose anything because the bottom line is that most bosses don't care to hear it. All they want is for their employees to be able to do their job. I would, however, contact and make an appointment with someone in your Employee Assistance Program. If you work for a large company and have been there for at least a year, you should have FMLA benefits that would cover time off for a chronic illness if needed.

I don't want to sound callous in your situation, but it just sounds really close to what I went through. Sometimes management will work with individuals if they're willing to work through the EAP.

Take care of yourself!

Rhonda

thank you rhonda. i appreciate your sharing i am sure many can benefit from your knowledge.

i am far away, different system i am afraid, but we too have analogous types of programs, and i will try to get informed in the way of what sort of labor protection there is for this... 'fraid not much unless you're a permanent hire, i'm body rented consult just at 3 months there, discontinuous work history before that for extended period.


i am going to look into teaching again.

you didn' sound callous

[waves]

i did put out feelers about teaching you never know... someone who is connected to a school. she has a degree in psychology. we have been taking. i want to read what she has written on narcissism. i think i have narcissistic areas in my way of being. i think my boss has high traits. he weasels about like a cat 'round a mous then when yer not lookin he sends a left hook in.

hook, or a claw, right to the jugular.

~ waves ~

[bizi]

thank you for posting.
I surely dislike your boss.
What about the big boss?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[waves]

dear bizi

thank you. i will try to explain. but if you don't understand don't worry. it is hard to explain it right. and it might make your heaspin so siddown.

i have a contract with company A through end june. they rented my services to company B (without whom, company A doesn't want a hire) who similarly rented my services to company C. my boss that you don't like is a guy at company C. if he doesn't want a person he can tell them get me someone else. if they can't convince him otherwise, they will get him someone else and give me a month's notice (that's what my contract says i'm due).

my contract btw is only cross-signed, not full-signed which is weird - he said so he didn't have to register it? but he's withholding taxes... and goes through the other guy.... so i don't think it could be a fraud thing . i thinki better check that out..... now i'm owwrried.

but if he left me home from one day to the next i dount id' have much recourse. not that wouldn't cost me 5 x the worth. he alrady shorted me on december... made me think sick was not deducted even if we were using a temporary contractual form, instead - he deducted it. that is company A guy, but this the same guy that kept calling me to go interview places when nobody else called. company B guy (the boogie woogie bugle boy) seems pretty bottom line oriented but not to throwing someone who is doing their job ok at the whim of a client - i think he would probably try to place me elsewhere in the company. but my cactus-hold boss knows a lotta bigwigs in there. if he wants me out i'm out, pretty sure, not postive.

~ waves ~

[Mari]

Dear Waves,

Call the pdoc. You can use his help. You do not have to go through this alone.

Take a day off if you can -- so that things calm down a bit.

M.

[DiMarie]

I agree with Mari,
You need the help from them to keep you being you.
Hugs
di

[bizi]

I am sorry that this happened......
we are here for you....
maybe the zyprexa could help stop some of the impulsivity/conflicts you are having...I don't know, grasping at straws.
people just want to get along, not have conflict.
kill them with kindness....catch more flies with honey...
again I am sorry...
love bizi