Dear Befuddled,

It sounds like some situational depression.
Still, it would help to call the pdoc and check in. Maybe you can get a med adjustment for now.


My tdoc has taught me to think about one thing at a time. Also to think about that one thing in the most positive light possible. We benefit from trying to see the best we can in our situation.
--- even if the situation is not best, we can still try to see it as good.

Also, we need to break it down.
Often what we are going through it part of a PROCESS. It is not a one time deal that can be solved with one more meeting or one more call to the authorities.
We need to do one thing at at time and think of it as a journey with many turns and stops along the way.

And things I can't handle, she tells me to flat out drop them right now as soon as I tell her about them.
Many many things, she tells me are not worth my mental health.

My mental health is more important than ANYTHING else.
If something interferes with it, it is out of my life. Gone. Bye Bye. I stop thinking about it and treat it as if it is solved or gone a way.

This includes certain family members, certain people at work, many chores, even personal hygiene. If it causes distress, it is gone. That gives me room in my life to focus on staying stable.

Staying stable takes up HUGE amounts of energy and focus. I only have so much of those to go around.
So I ration them carefully. I am very stingy.

Good luck Barabara. You have been doing well.
You missed two classes at night. That happens. You did your best and it didn't work out for you to go. It's ok. It very much ok. Know that you are a good person and move on.

M.

Thank you Mari. That is a good point that you made. My mental health is the most important thing. I am going to call my nurse pratitioner and see if I can get in sometime soon. I'm going to call her today when the office opens.

I've got to be in court in 2 1/2 hours against my landlord. I have been working on how to present myself in court. I don't know how I'm going to get through this as I hate court. I have a feeling though that things will be fine. My nerves are shot. I made an appointment with my nurse practitioner for tomorrow to see if a medication change is in need which I'm sure it is.

Is your lawyer going to be handling this?

If not, take your clues from the judge.
Follow the judge.

Good for you for making an appointment.

M.

Hi Mari,

My lawyer told me she could not help me with this case today. She recomended another attorney but he does not take this type of case. What really bothers me about my attorney is that she charged me for going over my lease agreement and going over the cetified letter to send to my landlord and then drops me cold. I hate her right now.

I hope that my church lady friend will pick me up today to take me to court. She'll be good for me. She won't be able to attest to anything as I've only known her for the past couple of months. But at least if she picks me up I'll have some one there with me. She could be intimadated to leave though. My next door neighbor told her last week she could not park anywhere near her apartment. That's the only other place to park as people live on the other side of me and behind me that take up parking on my side. My next door neighbor side of her aparment has a very large space before another apartment while I don't.

I can't think anymore.

I lost in court today. I'm so angry at the moment. There is never justice in the world for me.

Dear Barbara,

Lots of hugs.

I'm sorry that you went through that.

M.

OMG. i read the thread just a bit earlier and posted just now before i saw this. had to delete my post. boy was i "off." oh i am soooo sorry.

i don't know what to say. anyway, if nothing else, it's over.

allow yourself to cry. it is something you need to go through, yes. but crying also produces endorphins which will give you natural relief. i think the beers just took the edge off that let you feel depression that was there already, and pain you were holding back on. but letting it out is better than drinking it away.

you will be moving... at SOME point. 5 years down the road, this will be an experience you will be proud of. Going to court without representation is no joke. That lawyer that quacked out on you man, that just makes me steam.

Anyway, it IS over. just be with whatever you feel, and that will be the best way to deal. you WILL feel better.

when you feel better, i want to ask what this means - your losing - what does that entail... but don't worry about posting that until you feel like it. it is real late here and i have to go to bed right now. but i'm thinking of you.

today i had a spell where i was kinda bummed out... i won't get into it but i remembered a line from Led Zep... ususally towards ppl who do me wrong... "Your time is gonna come."

But today i thought, hey, hopefully one day, my time is gonna come... for something good to happen. so i will leave you with that thought... in the POSITIVE sense... things may suck now, and may have for a long time... but... Your time is gonna coooome.... a time for you to blossom and grow. The pain is a part of the journey. Nothin' says it's here to stay.

~ waves ~