[mymorgy]

i have really turned reclusive. to make matters worse, i have spent most of my time reading or sleeping, that i can hardly walk a block without getting tired. My doctor suggested a lung doctor but I am too afraid to go. I have pernicious anemia but my doctor said the b12 shots should have kicked in by now. I also am deficient in vitamin d which makes you tired and supposedly the vitamin pills take a long time to take effect. Both p.a. and d deficiency can make you feel depressed. I switched to zoloft and it is too soon to see if that is working better than prozac.
the last two nights i have had disturbing somewhat recurring dreams that i wasn't going to graduate from college(I did all my course work for ph.d. in pyshcology in reality) and that i failed in another huge project that i was working out except there was some praise that went along with it. it was the weirdest dream. i was happy to wake up because in the dream my parents told me that was the last straw and i had to go find a job which i thought was impossible. I am battling in accepting the limitations of being bipolar. I am rehashing my life and seeing all the bad decisions i made because i am bipolar and functioned and probably still function like one, even with insight.
ugh. what pain
bobby