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09-12-2009, 08:49 PM
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#25 | |||
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Senior Member
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I am dismayed by how lonely an experience cancer is. Nobody wants to hear about your cancer all the time. But I have it every day. Being a cancer patient or a cancer survivor has become a part of who I am and I can't turn it off.
I do not think it is possible for anyone to ever understand how we feel unless they have been through it themselves. Breast cancer is unlike other cancers. It is devastating. Not just because we are faced with our own mortality, most cancer patients feel that. It isn't because we have to go through the barbaric and primitive chemo treatments. A lot of other cancer patients have to deal with the debilitating side effects. Cancer forces people to face their mortality; it forces people to deal with the dangerous side effects of chemo and the emotional drain that it generates. It forces people to endure invasive surgeries, sometimes multiple surgeries. It forces people to cope with the fatigue from chemo. It makes us reconsider the quality of our lives and the meaning of our lives. And to put a cherry on top you are bipolar. I feel like crawling under a rock. I’ve been through the worst week of my life with nausea and achiness from the shots I have to give myself to get my WBC count up. I’ve had horrible nightmares of me holding my mom’s hair while she was sick from the chemo. But I’d give anything right now to have that moment back, as painful as it was for her. I know that sounds selfish but she was my mom, she endured what I'm going through. If there was ever a moment I wished for my mom it would be now.
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. . . . Cats nap, only humans put them "to sleep". Sterilize, don't euthanize!! BJ |
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