I just feel so sad, I miss my dear friend Pam W. We were very close and though she died in the summer of 2004 it still hurts like it was yesterday. I miss her so much, she taught me so much about dignity and how to embrace life even though we were disabled. She was a quadraplegic, but she always smiled and never had a bad thing to say about anyone.

I miss her so much. Her daughter has since had three lovely children and is a mother now herself, but I haven't seen her or the kids, I am grateful she saw her first grandson born, but it still aches because I don't have her to talk to anymore.

I wrote my memoir, started before her passing, and it's called A Story of Two Pams, and I hope to see it published. I am such a sniveling mess right now I doubt I will be able to breathe through my nose tonight and be able to use my CPAP machine. It's so hard sometimes, I tried to call her mother and just talk with her but I got the answering machine. I will call tomorrow and hopefully we both won't cry, but I have a feeling we will.

I don't expect any replies, I just needed to post about Pam. She was such a brave and wonderful woman, I hope I made her proud by finishing that memoir. Maybe it will be published in the next decade if I can get an agent or publisher interested and then the world will know our story.

Pam I'm sure that you made her proud by finishing the memoir. It's okay to sniffle and weep. It's all a apart of the process of grieving. Grieving takes time but the ache in your heart will always be there. But it's a good ache, an ache of all the good times and memories you had.

((((((Pam)))))),



I wish you weren't having to go through this

I love the idea of the book. I've always believed that writing about people that we've loved and now miss is a wonderful way to bring their memory into the future -- to those who never got a chance to know the people that we love.

It's cool that her grandchildren will have the chance to know their grandma better because of your writing. You're creating a chain to tie the generations together

Hugs.

Barb

Thank you BJ and you too Barb, I really appreciate your kind words. I promised her I'd finish it and I have after three years I finally got to a point in life where I felt I could pick up the story again and I did and finished irt in only a few months. I am feeling better this morning and know in my heart that she is proud of me for finishing the story. Someday it will be published, I think I have to get some of my other pieces put out there before the memoir will sell, but I am sure it will sell someday.

Thank you both again for being so kind and offering your condolances, it made me feel better.