I just feel so sad, I miss my dear friend Pam W. We were very close and though she died in the summer of 2004 it still hurts like it was yesterday. I miss her so much, she taught me so much about dignity and how to embrace life even though we were disabled. She was a quadraplegic, but she always smiled and never had a bad thing to say about anyone.

I miss her so much. Her daughter has since had three lovely children and is a mother now herself, but I haven't seen her or the kids, I am grateful she saw her first grandson born, but it still aches because I don't have her to talk to anymore.

I wrote my memoir, started before her passing, and it's called A Story of Two Pams, and I hope to see it published. I am such a sniveling mess right now I doubt I will be able to breathe through my nose tonight and be able to use my CPAP machine. It's so hard sometimes, I tried to call her mother and just talk with her but I got the answering machine. I will call tomorrow and hopefully we both won't cry, but I have a feeling we will.

I don't expect any replies, I just needed to post about Pam. She was such a brave and wonderful woman, I hope I made her proud by finishing that memoir. Maybe it will be published in the next decade if I can get an agent or publisher interested and then the world will know our story.