I am NOT ace accepting my being disabled that I have a chronic medical condition and chronic pain condition and then that I have brain damage due to last #3 spinal fusion surgery that failed?
I don't know how to accept all of this?
will I?
and not only all this health changes I also have to accept my husband having an affair me leaving him me 100% disabled now where as a few short months ago I worked I was semi happy trying to rebuild what was shattered and then all this Its WAY to much
I have NO health insurance.
No support system. no friends they all ran after Feb.
I am still me just a little different.
I suffer from extreme anxiety and stress and have No medication for pain for anxiety I feel like I'm going to lose my mind soon
I HATE being alone
I'm homebound 99% of the time.
will I ever accept everything and be able to go forward?

Hi bella, Im so sorry & hate that you are suffering! It is totally bad enough to suffer in pain physically but adding in emotional pain & its too much! Do you understand this.... being made to feel like you arent worthy of proper treatment, love, care because you cant "perform" the way people, husbands expect & put pressure to "perform" up to whatever level he decides is good enough, acceptable & to meet those expectations or you get disapproval. So, you try & try until you are living your life to meet his expectations & get his approval but all the things that worked before that won you respect, grace, love dont work any more? Like looking pretty, cooking great, cleaning house etc & they still arent enough because fiscally i dont bring in enough money, only $300/month, & so once in awahile i get hurtful words or disapproval that im not enough. Being a faithful wife, christian, good mom, good wife arent looked at when measuring me with the "worthy ruler" he just wants monetary help even though we are fine financially. I am here to support you, i care about your pain.

Thank you for your kind words
I have been having so many bad days that I don't even go on line
Noone calls and checks on me or comes by.
I feel that my family has turned away from me and I'm so alone.
At times I wonder why? What did I do so wrong to have all this happen to me?
Am I that terrible of a person? And I don't know it?
This isn't how my life was suppose to be. I wonder why I call it living I'm not I'm just going through the motions
This is NOT living. In these walls alone 24/7 -7 days a week. That's not living
I have to tell myself there's good at the end
Just hold on and see how the story ends but right now the story is very painful ohysically mentallly. And noone cares. Noone shows any conxern if I'm alive or not
I hate the way I feel
I hate how people took my life from me and changed me forever and I had no say in it.I hate feeling so alone

Bless your heart...you are having a bad time of it. I am so very sorry for what you are going through medically and physically.

Have you looked in your community for medical resources that might help you out ? Sounds like you need some meds for pain and depression right away !

My life has changed dramatically in one short year. Lost my job of 26 years due to lay offs, had a 'regular' hysterectomy for excessive bleeding and the path report came back that they found a rare uterine cancer called Serous. Was diabetic but not insulin dependent and immediately started 6 rounds of chemo in Dec 2012. (Taxol/Carbo) that ended at the end of March 2013. Exactly one month later I could barely walk my feet hurt so bad and I kept dropping things and knocking things over, horrible balance problem etc. I was diagnosed with small fiber neuropathy via a skin punch biopsy in Sept due to my diabetes and chemo. Foot dr said mine is so bad that all I can do is go to a pain mgmt. specialist and work with them to get as much relief as I can and have some sort of life back. I am home 99% of the time because I can't drive with my feet like this....even bad as a passenger. I can't clean my house like I need to and I can't walk around the grocery store to buy groceries.

So I understand some of what you are going through. Please reach out to people in the neurotalk community. You will find a lot of info that will help you and some extremely nice people to go along with that.

Wishing you the best and please keep us updated. We care about you.

God is good and the sun shines here in Georgia.

Debi