Hi All.

Happy to report he is home, safe and sound and I'm not letting out of my sight until he finishes all the antibiotics for his Negative Gram bacterial UTI.

I don't know how he does it. All the stuff he has been through and he has the appetite of an elephant. lol

So keep praying. The prayers worked well. And I really do thank you all for your support. There I was sitting all alone in that hospital room and I had you all talking to me on this forum. Helped a lot.

Love ya
Melody

Hi Gerry:

I'll be honest. We are all each other has in this world. We have great friends in the neighborhood but unfortunately family is another story. And since I'm a bit better in the health department (I call my self an Amazon, lol), I really have no choice but to step up to the plate. I probably have OCD because I have to plan everything. I knew that I would have to make meals so I did and froze them, so when we came home, I just popped them out of the freezer and put them in a pan, covered for a good 15 minutes and VOILA, dinner.

But I did treat us to something naughty tonight. Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins (on Tuesday) has a buy one sundae, get one free.

If you think I would pass this up, forget it. It was DELICIOUS.

Something called Chocolate mousse pie ice cream. Only one scoop but with the toppings, I had a ball. I think I deserved a little treat.

Tomorrow back to sprouts and hopefully some Tempeh. Now THAT is awesome in a sprout salad. lol

Melody

I am thrilled to read you and Alan are home!

Wishing you both sweet "chocolate mousse pie ice cream" (with toppings) dreams!

Just think, you can sleep in!


DejaVu

Melody, I sure can use some of your OCD. You really have your "act" together.

On the naughty side; hubby brought home from Costco a box of 15 Haagen Dazs chocolate covered almond ice cream bars. We have been treating ourselves, after dinner, nightly to an ice cream bar each (originally had cut one in half, put my half on a plate and left his half on the stick; but 1/2 each didn't last long enough so now we each have one of our own).

Glad you an Alan have each other, the love and caring really shows.

Both of you are in my prayers.


Gerry

Well....right now I'm not speaking to him. I'm not kidding. I just unloaded on him like you don't know. Want to know why?

After EVERYTHING I have done for him, this morning I even went to the local Walgreens which is a 10 block walk for me (with my bad knees), got his prescriptions, went shopping, brought home his favorite chinese soup, came into the house (from 85 degrees outside WHICH I LOVE because I have arthritis), and walked into this FREEZING A/C house and I understand that he likes it cold and I don't. But I usually give him his hours of a/c then I close it and he is always fine because I have this fan pointed at him and he's always fine with that and then I get to warm up a bit.

I walked into ice cold living room (at least to me it was ice cold), I walked over the A/C, closed it, looked at him and I said "For just 5 minutes". He started yelling "no no, Can't you go into another room"?? We have a three room apartment. I spent the entire morning, cleaning, disinfecting, washing, etc. etc. and he had the nerve to tell me to GO INTO ANOTHER ROOM.?

You don't want to know what I said to him. Right now I'm not talking to him

I'm just so fed up. Sorry to vent but I'm am not wrong.

Melody

(((((( Melody ))))))

You have given a lot, Melody. It's in your heart to do so. It's just fine to also make your needs known.

Much Love to You and to Alan.


DejaVu

Better to have a place like NT to "vent". We're here for one another.

I think you have been stressed to a point where just a little of appreciation would have been nice. Hopefully, when he thinks over his lack of giving you a little time and space without being uncomfortable, he will feel badly about his behavior. Both of you have been through so much.

With his having been so ill, he's probably looking for more sympathy and not realizing your needs as well.

Hopefully by now things have settled down a bit with the two of you talking and just enjoy being home together.

Take care of you too!!


Gerry

Oops, I guess I should not make this post as I do not want to offend you, Melody.

You BOTH have valid points. You do need to get some acknowledgement from Alan for all you do. I do appreciate the fact that the colder temps make you miserable and that the warmer temps are more comfortable with your arthritis.

I happen to be like Alan,.... I need the temps LOW. I am absolutely miserable if the temp goes up even the slightest amount. I can't sleep, can't breath, and I get very irritable when I am not cool.

I have gone through the battle of the thermostat when I lived with another person. Similar situation, the other wanted it warm and I wanted it cold.

My poor argument was they could add more clothing, put on a sweater, robe, jacket, etc. I could not take off any more clothing, I was almost in my birthday suit as it was.

No, I am not taking Alan's side here. I am just saying I understand how he feels but also how you feel so unappreciated.

Hope you can forgive him and start talking again QUICKLY !!! It is good that you expressed your feelings. Just don't hold a grudge. It will only make YOU feel bad.

When Alan requested you go into another room, I would have responded, NO, YOU go in another room.

Oh, and remember you came in from the outdoor heat, so you probably felt the colder temps even MORE than if you had not been outside first.

Hi.

First of all i have to clarify a bit. this has nothing to do with breathing , wearing more clothes. this had to do with entitlement issues. he thinks he is right. he really does. he thinks my job is to take care of him and do everything because he has neuropathy. this is a man who doesnt believe in Valentine's Day, or any gift giving occasion. i found this out many years ago when my birthday was coming up. someone wished me an early Happy Birthday. and he realized my birthday was coming up and he actually groaned and said OMG , now i have to buy you a gift? This is a testament to a mans character when he feels like that.

I immediately knew exactly what I was dealing with. he has not changed, he will never change. i belive he has Aspergers. he has all the traits.

this means my feelings dont matter. as long as he is taken care of, is fed. etc. etc. Because any man who can say that to a woman needs a good swift kick. his sister COMPLETELY agrees with me. thats why i dont do laundry any more, i send it out. makes a big difference in my life. so alan at 68 will never get thst lightbulb moment thst WOW MY WIFE TAKES SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME"'' oh he will say thank you and such. Honestly, it means nothing any more. and yes, i am in therapy and this has showed me what i can and cannot expect from him.

Not an easy life. But i am up to the task.

I just had to clear up certain things. we lived around the corner for 23 years with no Air cond. only in the bedroom. imagine that.

but lets go back to his health and change my venting. he is still taking his antibiotic, takimg a cranberry pill. i am not giving him colloidal silver until he finishes the antibiotic and hopefully his hospital visits are over. we still have the urologist. the podiatrist and god only knows what else coming up next week.

and i have to go with him because we use ambulette service and his trips are all exhausted and i use whatever trips i have left. this saves us $24.00 Round trip. we just say its my appt.


Do you think a man who doesnt believe in buying his wife a present is going to pay for car service??

so far so good. oh he gets his new custom molded shoes and orthotics in a few weeks

melody

Hi Melody,

I do apologize. I really was talking JUST about the temperature. I had no idea Alan was such an inconsiderate person to you. I guess I got the impression that he was usually a really super duper fellow from the way you have spoken of him. About his "fan club" with the girls in your circle of friends, etc. About how you DO take care of his every desire and need. I thought it was a mutual thing. Sorry to hear that you are so under appreciated.

If he is using his health (neuropathy, etc.) as an excuse for his behavior, that won't cut it as you have your own health issues. I know of your diabetes and your arthritis and there is probably much of which I am unaware.

I was just commenting on the irritability I get when I am "hot". Guess, there is more to it with Alan than just temperature related irritability.

You just reinforced my happiness with living alone.