I think that above all else, she needs to know everything there is to tell about "the birds and the bee's" and general hygiene, i.e.:

- what is the point of menstrual cycle
- about "choices" and dangers (STD's)
- what boys will be after at this age
- how to protect herself (condoms, birth control)
- "saving" herself for marriage (or whatever your ideal)
- how to use/dispose of pads
- the dangers of tampons left in too long
- etc.

If you are not comfortable having this IN DEPTH conversation with her, ask her doctor to discuss these things with her ASAP.

At 14, she knows much more than you give her credit for, but not enough to make wise decisions on her own. My girls were taught Sex Ed from kindergarten on in school, and I was very open with them too .... but there was still a lot to absorb once it mattered to them personally.

I also opened the door for my daughters to have a one on one relationship with their doctor, and his number is posted on my fridge. All I can do is make rules so that they are less likely to get themselves into a sticky situation, but kids will find a way if they are determined enough. I really don't want to know the intimate details of their escapades ... but I do want to know they are protected and that THEY know what they are doing/getting themselves into!

My sis came home pregnant at age 15 (she was the bookworm of the family) and she was 5 months along before she told anyone. I do NOT want that for my kids, more than anything else (well, except death, of course). That requires frank discussion.

Cherie