Anyone get the emails from Julie Stachowiak, PhD? The other day I got one about driving and anxiety. First time I have seen validation in writing for what happens to me.....I'm not a nut job after all. Here is what she says:

Multiple Sclerosis Blog
By Julie Stachowiak, Ph.D., Multiple Sclerosis Guide

My BioMy BlogMy ForumRSS.Driving and Multiple Sclerosis - Do You Do It?
Tuesday September 14, 2010
Abject fear of driving was my first "real" symptom of multiple sclerosis, which ultimately led to my diagnosis (albeit in a roundabout way).

It was weird, as most of these symptoms are - I would get in the car and immediately feel anxious. I would press on, forcing myself to go places, even though I was terrified the whole time. I felt like I was in a video game, even when there were few other cars on the road and the pace was slow. A car switching lanes 100 yards ahead of me would tempt me to slam on the brakes, as it seemed like a collision was inevitable with such "reckless" and erratic drivers on the road. Approaching a traffic circle would be a gut-clenching nightmare of trying to find an opening, waiting too long, finally speeding out in front of traffic as someone honked and yelled.

Everybody that I mentioned this to had a diagnosis and advice. "You are just stressed." No, I really wasn't (besides the driving experience itself). "You need more sleep." No, I was sleeping fine. "You just have to keep practicing." I had been driving for 20 years, so couldn't figure out what this one meant.

Once I got my MS diagnosis, about 6 months later, and learned a little more about this disease, things made a little more sense. I think what I was experiencing was a form of cognitive dysfunction, a slowing of information processing that made it difficult to integrate and make the hundreds of little microdecisions that are involved with driving.

These days, I might go for months without driving. That is hard, and I am basically dependent on my husband to help me get out-of-the-house things accomplished. However, there are also good times (driving-wise), where I will confidently navigate local streets (still no freeways for me) and feel like I am in control of my universe. There are also in-between times, where I find myself halfway to my destination, realizing that maybe this isn't ideal - during these times, I keep a running mental dialogue going, telling myself that a traffic light is coming up and not to slam on the brakes if someone slows down way up ahead of me.

Don't get me wrong - I do NOT drive if I think I am dangerous or if I feel the least bit anxious. Before I go out, I always ask myself how I am feeling and if it is a good idea to get behind the wheel. I allow myself to be disappointed, but proud of myself for my "maturity," if I decide that I have to stay home.

like you read my mind.

Great article...thanks for sharing it.

I feel the same as Julie. She explains it very well. I don't have a car anymore because I drive so infrequently that it just didn't make sense for me to pay the cost each month to maintain a vehicle. I have access to the use of one if I need it and that's about 3 times a month. Sometimes not even that.

The strange part about it is that I don't miss it. I thought it would be so hard to accept and get used to. I find that I'm much more relaxed and don't get stressed as much as I used to. Days that I do drive......my stress level is noticeably higher. People are so impatient (I'm guilty of being that way too....pre-MS) and drive like they are frantic to get somewhere. I have to just ignore the unfriendly drivers and concentrate on my driving. And no radio! That part I do miss.

yeah, I have a bit of driving anxiety, but it's mostly for driving places that I dont know very well, or some weird reason, driving around large bodies of water, like a lake, or over a river. (that may be a leftover phobia from my older sister teasing me when I was 3 and saying she was going to throw me in whatever body of water we happened to be driving over while on a vacation)

I like Julie, she's the Guide for the MS site on About.com, there's a forum there, along with an archive of all her articles she's ever written since becoming the Guide for her site. I've been a member of her forum for several years now. (About.com also has some crafting sites too. I've been on their Crochet forum since the late 90s)

Julie has all sorts of great information on her site. I like the articles she writes. Lots of good stuff in them.

I tagged mine as anxiety because in 2001 I had a bad car accident. We were sitting at a red light stopped when a big truck rammed into us so hard, he put the back bumper against the back seat. my mother broke a bone in her neck, the airbags drove my DDs glasses into her face and eyes, I fractured my left wrist...I was overly cautious since then, but the anxiety doesnt match with the event. I see brake lights ahead and panic that no one else is going to stop in time, or I see a car coming up behind me when traffic is stopped and I am scared that they will not stop in time. Most cars zip right up to you and stop an inch from your bumper. I want more space!

This article gives me peace. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks for your post!

I had found, shortly after my diagnosis, that being in an environment that has alot going on would send my insides into a crazy panic and the sounds were too loud and made my ears feel like bleeding. I couldn't figure it out. And my doctor said I was depressed so I was having anxiety attacks. I knew that wasn't the reason. I met another MS patient from Chicago who informed me the reasons why my insides go crazy is because there are so many things going on that my senses were picking up and since the damage to my CNS causes everything to slow down, it was trying to receive thousands of messages and because our systems are slow it's not processing these messages as they should be processed. It blew my mind when she told me this because THAT made sense. Not anxiety, because I am not a shy anxious person. So I have found myself in the same boat as you my dear. ESPECIALLY when those loud semi's pull up next to me! AHHH makes my insides go nuts.

There are days when my depth perception and coordination are just far too jacked up to be behind the wheel, and on those days I have my boyfriend/friends chauffeur me around.lol. it does suck tho because I thoroughly enjoy driving. Can the state take my license if they knew that?
Again, on my bad days I do NOT drive, but I haven't told them any of that because I am afraid they will take my license.

Thank you for sharing the article. Also, just reading what everyone has posted is like bells ringing in my head. Yet- no dx for sure to determine MS for me but it all keeps leading back to it.

Driving: This spring was when driving became something I absolutely dreaded- horror. Inability to concentrate, severe anxiety and bad vertigo. Now I only drive if I absolutely need to and wait for DH to help run errands later on.

It is frustrating.

Coffeegirl

Ok. The only MS part that bothered me while driving was not being able to hold/feel my cigarette like the second nature it always was while using handcontrol as i'm a paraplegic to boot. Come on

I have swiped this story and shared it with several. I have been at a loss to explain what went on in my head on bad driving days. This was just perfect.

Man, I really miss jumping in my mini van and hitting the road to anywhere!!!!