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Old 05-07-2012, 07:09 AM #7
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Dejibo Dejibo is offline
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Location: New Hampshire
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Dejibo Dejibo is offline
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Dejibo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 7,332
15 yr Member
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son and his G/f showed up fighting. Let me give it to you in a nutshell. She is recently widowed. She loved that man, and he died. he died and left her with 3 kids! a house full of unfinished projects, a pocket full of medical bills, cars that dont run well. and while she worked hard to put him thru school, it was her turn and he died before she got to go. I think she is overworked, over stressed The house is a tea total wreck. The kids are over scheduled, and have way too many social things going on. There is no time to just play and be kids. Speaking of Kids, mine has never raised kids. He is just out of a horribly abusive relationship, and needed time to heal, but did he listen? nope, he jumped straight into her arms. He cant keep up to the kids, the house, her, her new diagnosis of fibromyalgia and her abusive mother who hates him simply because he isnt the ex who had loads of money.

So, these two monkeys came over last night and wanted to talk it out and see if I could help them understand what went wrong. I let her talk for an hour. I let him talk for an hour, then I came back and said "Look, love each other or not, you are both in WAY over your heads here. My son wants to get out of this relationship and has NO idea on how to do it." she started sobbing. I said "why are you bawling?! YOU TOO want out, and have NO idea on how to do it. you NEED time to grieve. Time to let those children grieve. Time to get your medical condition in order, and you need a man who knows what its like to raise kids. You CANNOT take a single childless man, and dump him into the middle of your tornado life and expect that he already knows the coping skills it takes to hang on. So...my best advice. SEPARATE! go to couseling. privately and together. If at the end of one month you still want to run to each other. GO! Till then, you are just making a bad situation worse." I told them how much I love them both and dont wish to see either in this kind of pain.

She went to the bathroom to wash her face. She came out pulled on her jacket, hugged me, hugged him and left to go talk to her g/f. Called her mom to say she wanted to leave the kids there for another hour or two, please feed them. You could hear mom crying about she is going out, come get them! btw, the kids are WAY out of control. they are all acting out since daddy died and no one has suggested they get someone to talk to.

So, my son is back in his room. Cried thru the night. Scratches his head saying "i just dont get it" and spouting on about how much he loves her, and he wants to go running home.

No stress at my house!

DH went fishing in another state, and isnt even here. Im about to chuck the son out to work, close the door and go back to bed! If its still bad in the AM I will call the MD.
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