Feel better Dej..

Woke on Friday feeling much better. my throat was less sore,and my glands were much less swollen. My thyroid still felt big to me, but its hard to tell on your own.

Went to see the wizard. She was quite busy, and was trying to fit me in, but it was me that missed my Wednesday stuff, so its my own fault. We talked a bit about Misamas and chemical interference in utero as mom contributes from a dirty gene pool or perhaps has an infection so her egg isnt the best specimen and dad contributes from his dirty gene pool and perhaps has a bladder infection or a STD at the time he releases an egg. Then the baby that results is coded from the beginning to be sick. struggle, or have issues. I told her that I can understand what she is saying and since my dad was a bad alcoholic and my mom had less than stellar morals who knows what juice I was conceived with. Especially since mom was raised on the back lands of a reservation, grew up with polio was medicated half her life, drank water from unclean wells, and ate government food. Was incredibly sick herself when she left home to marry my dad, and while he faired better in the growing up department, he was such a bad alcoholic that he would neglect to eat for days in favor of the demon ale. so, whatever nutrition he may have had stored was quickly depleted. nothing would surprise me of either of those two. She wanted to keep explaining about the junk her computer found that was attached to me since conception, and I said STOP! I dont want to hear it. I just want to hear that whatever it is, you can clear it. She said she could.

As she "cleared" the miasmas by laying some electronic box on my tummy. (i asked why my tummy and she said 70% of our immune system comes from our tummy, so that is what needs to be cleared first. Also little bugs from bad well water and such hide in the gut so that is where I expect to find them. I said for 35 mins with this thing buzzing on my tummy. She said she was impressed. most folks complain of a tummy ache or pains in their tummy about min 20 but I never flinched. I did know that my tummy was rumbling away and I felt like I needed to poop but who is going to say that in the middle of a treatment? As she was wrapping up she retested me. Said the miasma was gone, and so was the ebstein barr. I asked if she cleared the EB or what. She said it left with the miasma and that is frequently the way things happen. She said I will be tired for a few days but as the week wakes up so will I and I will have the energy to do more thing that I want to do.

I gotta tell you, for the last 5 years I havent wanted to do a thing! just leave me alone has been my battle cry. I do things because I have to, not because I want to. it will be amazing to see that change. I noticed on the ride home that I was starting a to do list in my head. the floor, the bathroom, my cluttered closet...I said STOP! I am going to give myself the weekend to just laze about, and then on Monday IF i feel like getting up, I will. and If I dont, I wont.

I had a problem with her in that she talks constantly but its mumbles and murmurs. she talked to her office assistant "see here! and whoa look at that!" so, I asked her to either start including me in the conversation and explaining better what she is doing or i am going to be upset. She told me it takes so long to explain things and while she appreciates my curiosity its like a surgeon having to stop mid appendectomy to explain to the patient about this connects to that, and this is inflamed and this is not good. She said remember when I told you that I need 90 days of trust. This is what I mean. If you do what I ask of you when I ask it of you in 90 days you will feel so much better. We are half way there!

She went on to list things that have changed in 90 days. I am seeing much better. my red color has dramatically changed, meaning my inflammation levels are dropping, i have more energy, my tummy is starting to work properly. I have more cognitive awareness (enough to push her when she is trying to work) I have more stamina. the buzz in my feet is gone. my balance is better, and while I am not there yet, to do this in 45 days has been a challenge. it was something she was not sure of herself being able to complete after 30 but i am so compliant, and working with her to do my part, so she believes that in 90 days she will be able to release me to come back once of twice a year. I will be on nothing more than a multivitamin suppliment and perhaps a thyroid tablet. Till then she knows she is pushing me hard, and she knows that I am feeling good, not feeling good, feeling good, not feeling good, but to please judge her at her 90 day mark, not at the mid point.

ok, so I begrudgingly admit I am doing better. its funny how quickly we forget how badly we felt when it started. When pain starts it grabs our attention and the world stops, but when pain subsides, we tend to forget and just get on with it. I guess no one would have a 2nd child if we remembered the pain.

Slept like a rock last night. woke at 5 with the TV on (thanks sal) and I got out of bed easily at 8 and didnt want to crawl back in bed. I see her again next week for another treatment to remove the DDT and some other parasites I got from drinking reservation water. ick! Till then I am on my suppliments, and working hard to meet the other half of my goal.

Total for yesterday was $235 I dont want to make this about money, but in fact money is a real problem for most that want to go see someone like her. so, at $1100 then $800 then $200 we are over the 2k mark. Now I spent about 1k on Jack the cat and I must say that if I had not seen such a dramatic conversion in him I may have quit this. I am glad I am sticking it out today as perhaps now that we are down to the nut of it all, I can finally get rid of some of the deeper stuff.

So, thats my week. Will report in next week. I am going to be a vegetable and lay around this hot humid weekend. I will get up and see how much better I am on Monday. Wish me luck.

Yes, it sounds like you have been through a lot and need to rest. Hope that you can find a nice cool spot to do that in...and do it!

With love, Erika

HA! I feel better! dun dun dun (cue horror music)

yesterday I wanted to get up. not get up because I had to,or had things that needed to be done, and I was being a good adult. I wanted to do them. I washed my nasty kitchen from top to tip. I made (home made) a nice breakfast lunch and dinner. I dusted the spare bedrooms and washed their windows. I changed the sheets on all the beds. I cleaned off my desk! I will never find anything now, but its clean! I know this sounds silly but I LOVED cleaning. it made me feel good to be able to care for those things I love. When I dust that knick knack my son sent home from war it brings back memories. or that photo of my DH and I 25 years ago clowning around. I got my furniture from a family member who treasured it. it was the bed I spent my summers in! I love how it shines when its oiled and pretty. You wont find this kind of workmanship today nor the amount of storage. So, while my list was not completed, I was UP! and I was up because I WANTED to be up!

For about a year now when I wake up one of the first things that crossed my head was "why" why bother! there is nothing I can do, there is nothing I am willing to do, and everything that I could want to do someone is going to yell that I am sick, please sit down. I am wobbly and scaring folks. So, why? why bother! I had not become depressed, but frustrated and had not yet accepted that this is how MS designed my life to turn out. I needed to stop cooking. I cant stand for a long period to make my meal. I needed to stop cleaning as even the light vacuum is too heavy to pull. forget shopping as thats a night mare of a different color. I was rapidly reaching the point of not doing a whole lot for myself. DH has been cooking, doing laundry, and sweeping when he can. hit or miss dusting when he is able, and he is my chief cook and bottle washer. it was peeing me off!

So, maybe this BS in a bottle is working! Dont care where it came from, if its temporary I will deal with that too, but for this weekend out of this month I personally am going to reclean my house. today I am tackling the baths! I know dh has been skipping at them, but he misses the corners and the tops of things. he doesnt wipe off the bottles before he puts them away. He shoves things under the sinks. so, today will be bathroom day! its been so long since I saw under my sinks I dont know what is under there anymore. I have a feeling much will be trash! 4 year old mascara or shampoo or even advil doesnt need to be kept. Whooo!

I am doing one job or half a job and then resting a bit. then back at it. but im up cause I want to be!

***doing the happy dance***

Awesome! I am so happy for you.

It's just so terrific when we feel well again isn't it? Short or long lived...it doesn't matter. Fully iving those moments when they come is such sweet relief. To actually accomplish things with joy is the icing on the cake.
You go girl.

With love, Erika

My energy is holding up! I feel more stable, I am wanting to get up and move about more, and I feel like my sleepy headed self may be waking up.

i am walking about 3 miles a day. I am taking a boat load of stuff each day, but i know its not forever. I am pooping normally, my headaches have all but vanished, and I actually got to sleep without the AC blowing directly on me. I dont feel like I have my own personal furnace going on all the time and I am unable to cool myself. I am sweating when I walk now and dont get the same level of blindness I used to get by the end.

Things are improving. I see her again on the 14th. lets see that that brings.

Dej, it's been a week since your last post. Still following you. Did you start a new thread? I want the update!

I did post, but lets do it again.

Went to see the lady and she was really busy. I pulled her assistant to the side and told her about a few things that were said last time that upset me. Here they are.

1. she and I were talking and I said "that reminds me of when I had my gallbladder out" and she sorta went off on a tangent about how I should have told her that, and she would have wanted to know that kinda of information. I bit back that I have been trying to tell my tangled web of a story, but she keeps holding up her hand saying Shhhh...you dont have to say a word, the machine will tell me. Well, you cant have it both ways. Either you want to hear me or not. As I left the office last time she said something about those fellas at 9/11 and what problems they have and she would love to see a patient who was there, if for nothing else to have the data in her machine. As I was leaving I said "what you said was horrible! you were NOT there, you were home safe in your bed as the rest of us dug for weeks on end with the boots burning off our feets and as pleaded with God to help us dig in this pile of smoldering smoking office pieces and to make light of it in anyway shape or form is unacceptable, even if you just mean to use us as experiments for your practice. She got bright red in the face and said OMG! I had no idea you were there! We really need to talk. My parting shot was "oh, now you want to talk! im going home, if I come back we need to talk, but not about 9/11)

2. the comment was made about some man that had come on for treatments and he was such a non believer that this would help him. He would say its BS in a bottle and yeah, I will take your products but in the end I dont expect them to do much for me. He had COPD still smoked, ate hot dogs and drank beer several times a week and thought by laying her hands on him he would walk away cured of something he wasnt willing to help himself with. She looked at me and said "you know, if you dont believe in this, it wont work" I just sat silent.

So, upon my return visit I gave a piece of my mind. #1 either you want to know my history or not. I WROTE it on an intake form when I got here, YOU had it in your file all along. So, you dont get to be snotty with me when YOU discover something. That machine tests MILLIONS and MILLIONS of things that could be wrong, and that takes a human being a long time to go thru. Wouldnt it be easier if you let the patient speak and know what corner to look in? #2 The if you dont believe hard enough you wont get fixed is BS that faith healers tell you after they lay hands on you. Awww, you must not have wanted it bad enough, sorry. (really sarcastic attitude on me) I said Look, either this stuff WORKS or it wont work. MY belief in it may help my mental attitude and help encourage the healing, but I am not gullible and if its not working and if I am not seeing results I have the right to say Nope, not going back. Thank you for trying but not going back, and YOU CANT BLAME ME for the procedure not affecting me. To blame the patient is a disgusting practice and you should never mutter those words again. I said lets get on with this.

I guess the lady over heard me ( i am kinda loud) and came in. She wanted to know what if any improvements I am seeing. I told her my headaches have all but gone away. My vision has gone from 20/400 to 20/100 my tummy has calmed greatly. my body core temp has dropped dramatically and I feel like I belong in my skin again. I am not suffering from the heat like i normally do. (she interrupted and said WAIT! you were blind?) I said YES! tried to tell you that when I got here. I was legally blind the first time i sat in your chair.

I told her I am seeing some very nice improvements and her machine has been spot on when it finds something, but when you see a patient as multi leveled and tangled as I am, sometimes its just nice to talk to them.

We continued on with the treatment and she apologized and said that her practice is set up for those who are much less sick than I am and she normally only chases one or two issues not 12 or 20. She promised to be more thoughtful and observant in the future. I also told her that the products I am continuing on I wont be buying at her shop. I can find the exact same product for 1/3 the cost elsewhere, and since its the same maker, brand name, strength, bottle wrapper and so on, I dont feel the need to over pay because they came from a pretty shop. I will let amazon pull them from a metal shelf. I also lectured that If I didnt believe in this stuff I would have shut my pocket book and stayed home. I would not continue to invest in a treatment that was this pricey if I felt I was being ripped off. So, we are half way thru the 90 days, lets go.

So, there you have it. my stressful trip. I DO feel this is really working. There have been dramatic changes in my life, and I am seeing some good improvements and changes that I like. I have more energy, stamina, mental clarity, visual acuity, less exhaustion, and so on. So, for six weeks or seven weeks in, that is pretty good. She has delivered in six weeks what copaxone couldnt give me in six years.

Saw my neuro and told him all about what I am doing. He said he was excited to see if she could move my MS (NO ONE has said they could CURE my MS) I will have an MRI scan in December and we will count the lesions. I have gone a long time since a flare, and I hope it stayed that way. I still have MS hug issues, and now and again, my feet will burn, but that has all but gone.

I am a horrible patient, and I demand to be treated with respect. if you dont respect me, or even like me, then why oh why would you go out of your way to help me? I quickly leave medical places that I feel dismiss me. I hope I am teaching the new lady as much as I am learning from her.

Sometimes you just have to educate doctors, nurses, alternative practitioners, etc. on how to treat you. They can get so enamored with themselves and their protocols that they lose sight of their mission. So a little talking to can bring them back. And it sounds like you gave them some very constructive feedback. Just hope they remember it .

Another aspect of your healing, which I'm kind of surprised she has not mentioned, is that as you start clearing things, suppressed/repressed emotions surface as well. As they are released, you may find you are very sad, touchy, cry more, relieved, angry. It really varies. So you may feel you are on a emotional roller coaster and things that would not normally bother may bother you more. As you go through this, keep in mind that it is treating the physical, metal and emotional layers of your health.

I don't feel you need to have a belief in your treatment either in order for it to work. But it does help to suspend disbelief.

I'm so glad you have found something to improve your overall health. You have made great progress. Continue to focus on the positive aspect. Your energy goes where your focus is.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I am very appreciative of your trust and courage to do it so openly.

Marlene

I am feeling emotional. Quick to cry and I am not a cry baby. Easy to be defeated, and quick to say whats the point. I am bored here, I want to travel, I am at the point of demanding to move, even if it means abandoning this house, and im lonely! Most of my friends left with the dx as its hard to be friends with someone who cant/wont go out all the time. They were sympathetic but they have their own lives, and needs. So, yes, I am awash in emotions and quick to trigger an outburst. Quick to be defensive and quick to be affected by music or TV or something the neighbor said. Normally I am a rock and let a lot slide on by. I want to go spray the fireworks guy in the face with a fire hose when he lights off fireworks at 10pm every Fri, sat and sun night. STOP IT! I want to put spike strips on my street to stop those who are using as their personal free town race track. STOP IT!

So...yeah, i see what youre saying.