Thank you so much Debbie.
Yes, I afree with you in all that you are saying.
We have to take care of ourselves, both physically and emotionally . We have to live our lives. I will just tell you one littlke thing in that connection:
My husband and I had been invited to a very special celebration overseas, some months ago, and we had been planning. I had planned that for sure, I would be feeling better, have a diagnosis and get medication to "fix me all up"by the time the event should take place.
But that did not happen, and I was feeling worse, and we had to cancel out.
But after that, I felt so bad emotionally, because I have been trying " to live every day to it's fullest", so I felt I had failed, and I felt I had failed my sister( whos's party celebration it was for)
So 2 months later, I booked a trip for 2 weeks. I went home to my "old country"
I spent every day with my beloved family and relatives., I went to all the places that are dear to me. I visited some dear cousin that are terminally sick( She was actually the reason that opened my eyes, and got me out of my miserable old selfpittying person, and I went on the big trip) When I heared about her, I dicided that I must go, and I felt I had to go soon as possible. This cousin has been close to me.
I went to the mountains, I went to the forest,
My doctor back here, had put me on a high dose steroid treatment, and I felt good. I had to be careful though, due to immunsuppresive state
So this two weeks did wonders for me.
And I have had my eyes opened. I enjoy every day, and I will not cancel any event due to my misserable health. I now can look foreward to have my sister coming for Christmas. And I am looking foreward to prepare for Christmas.

Debbie D., so I do agree with all you said
Thank you for your post and information and help I hope you enjoyed my little "story"