I've just read this entire thread and I'm laughing so hard I scared the cat right out of the room!!

Are we still giving this man some of our invisible symptoms? I think he needs a scuba flipper for one foot and a stiletto heel for the other. Oh, and some extra large haz-mat gloves and a shirt with fifty teeny buttons to fasten.

Kay enters the fray.... in stealth mode...

Empathy Man, oh dear sweet Empathy Man?

Guess what WE have lined up for ya today?

*hold still while I slide this extra-large pair of rubber gardening gloves on ya!*

you have a dentist appointment in 30 minutes.

now, FLOSS your TEETH!

to properly impair your vision, we have CHANGED the bathroom bulbs to 40 watters!

and smeared VASELINE all over the mirror, to boot.

Empathy Man, are you familiar with the term Trigeminal Neuralgia?

*onlookers see Kay sneakily sidling up behind Empathy Man*

what's that in her hand, kiddies?

omg, she's clutching an ICEPICK!

stay tuned...

Shouldn't EM get a few loads of Laundry going before theat Dentist's? He did really make a mess in his tights with that "chocolate" bar.

Hey Kayo, when you are finished with the dear chap, shove him in a cold shower for me. Before that, see that pile of rubberbands...wind about 50 of them around his forehead til his eyeballs feel like they are going to pop!

I'll check on him when I finish my nap .

Good idea, Kicker, here, I'll add a few of these bowling balls to the basket. Cayo, you have any of that vaseline left? Could you put some on the laundry basket handles, please?

That duct tape on his "privates" is probably coming loose - maybe we sould bind him up again. No wait - let's rip it off so he can have the nerve pain effect "down there".

jab, right ear

Jab !, right cheekbone

JAB !!, right eyebrow

JAB !!!!, under right ear

havin' FUN yet, Mr. EM?



what? ya gotta wee wee, AGAIN?

but... you say you're "burning" a bit?

oh, sorry 'bout that duct tape, you-know-where.

it seems our dear sweet Kitty gets her jollies in a strange fashion.



but you'll soon adjust to your NEW NORMAL, Mr. Empathy.

it's time to CRAWL to the bathroom, clanking your ball 'n' chain merrily.

I Vaselined the grab bars by the pottie for ya!

2K2C, can you pass me that roll of barbed wire?

*Kay gleefully rubs hand together, and cackles hideously*

*snicker*

I guess poor old EM is in relapse yet again, huh? And here I thought he was on some sort of wonderful vacation!


Y'all are taking too much joy in EM's pain and suffering!

Anyone need a hatpin?

shhhhh, River...

I'm busy applying Vaseline to the laundry basket handles, the doorknobs, and EM's coffee mug handle, while he's at the dentist's office.

*meanwhile, across town*

Isn't it a SHAME that they're going to have to perform his ROOT CANAL without benefit of anesthesia?

"Nurse, vise grips, please?" (slap)

"Pliers?" (slap)

"Hammer?" (slap)

"Chisel?" (slap)

They're READY for you now, Mr. EM....

Just lemme fasten this bib around your neck.

"Why no anasthesia?" you dazedly inquire?

in order to duplicate the frazzled mis-wired NERVES of MS, of course!



For extra pleasure, we'll be injecting you repeatedly with SALINE, and PRETENDING you're getting Lidocaine.

"What? You're only numb in your hands and FEET, but not your mouth?"



"Now please hold very still, this will only hurt a LITTLE."