Tie me 'mpathy Man down, sport, tie me 'mpathy Man down!

Torment 'im til he's blue, Sue, and IRON his feet 'til he's skew!

all together now...

Does EM have any children? A few toddlers he can't catch running around and have to make meals for, drive to various places, etc., kids!!! might be good for him. As a single father with MS, does he date?

Empathy Man recently gave an interview to Painful Living With MS Magazine, and this is what he said:

"Since the infamous "Duct Tape Incident" I no longer have the desire to date."

He continued: "I never know if I will be ABLE to... you know..."

His woeful tale encompassed burning, strange tingles, itching, and painful spasms...

He spoke of not being able to when he wanted, and being ABLE at inappropriate times.

Single fatherhood also took its toll: "Who wants to date a man with THREE strikes against him?"

He was referring to the Pseudo-MS inflicted upon him by those ignominious HARPIES over at NeuroTalk as strike #1, the bungee cords on his arms as #2, and his children as the third strike.

And he mentioned that the ball and chains attached to his ankles weren't helping either... as they made it difficult for him to dress, drive, and take romantic strolls in the park.

This writer, while feeling some small degree of sadness for Empathy Man, couldn't help but acknowledge that his plight was suffered by thousands of women...

Ooooh looky! THanks to Dr. Kayo, Empathy Man is going to PT now!!!

Bend your leg up here EM...goooood...now STRETCH!!!

Was that a whiiiiine Empathy Man??? No whining!

Now put the other leg over here...and strettttch...spasm? Work through the pain, girly man! It will make you feel better if you practice it every day until you fall over!!!

I am sure there's another helper here with MORE exercises for you! Stay in that Twisted Man position until someone comes along and QUIT making that horrible NOISE, will you please???

You're scaring the other patients!!!

I think it's time for a little trot on the treadmill.

What's that? It's going a little too fast for you?? Well, a brisk walk will help loosen up those leg muscles. . . . let's see. . . . . about a "6" will do for speed.

I've got an idea - let's use the incline!! That will give your legs a better workout in a shorter amount of time. Aren't I helpful??

Huh? I can't hear you, EM, over the hum of the treadmill and all the noise your feet are making slapping the conveyor belt. Speak up! You seem short of breath! Need a break? OK - you've only got 20 more minutes but I can switch it up to a "9" and let you off after 13 minutes. Wanna do that?

why isn't he answering me???

Well, EM, I'm so glad that you got to take such a nice little walk!

Now it's time for yoga. Strip.

Just stick your arms here, good, now your legs up here, good; now stretch your neck and get your head up... HERE. Good. Let's get those legs up now, higher... okay, back a little... more... Okay, I'm just going to help you feel the burn by urging your feet down here to the floor, you'll love it!, it's just like a back spasm.

*sticking Baclafen & Zanaflex juuuuusst out of reach...*

Oh my; you all are so naughty and I am so proud of you all!!

You are such an inspiration to me! *wipes away tears*

Maybe someday I will relinquish my innocence and be more like you!

Day #2 of PT should include some water aerobics.

First, let's put the ankle weights on - 25 pounds each should do.......gotta get that "legs of lead" feeling.

EM!!! Come up off the bottom of the pool!! You have to tread the water for aerobics - not hang out at the bottom!! Sheesh.....gotta explain every detail to him.

Can't forget the scuba flippers - they'll provide that ever so attractive "waddle walk" that we all enjoy so much. Now get out of the pool - yeah, yeah I know it's hard with weights on your ankles - quitchurwhinin' and get on out.

Tomorrow we'll try Track and Field......

What's that. EM says he can no longer swim with those weights and bungee cords on him? GIRLIE-MAN!

He's Just Not Trying.