It was in the mid eighties here today, still no rain, but we have thunderstorms scheduled for tomorrow morning. It will be in the nineties by Friday. Oh goody....Not!

I hope that EM did my suffering for me today, whilst I slept. That's the least he could do. I had his diahrea, yesterday, though...UGH!!!

Tomorrow, he puts on a heavy slicker and mud boots.:D

What? What...:D It was all good fun ....good fun....

Anyhoo... Sal...Poor Em...all dressed up in his heavy coat and boats ...having a second helping of that special chocolate bar *wink..*wink ....found that he could not make it to the loo in time and well.............

Think he can find someone to change his pants? :eek:

*what's that smell?????*

ENTER AMN WITH POWER WASHER: There's only one way to handle this job!

*hands Mary the wand*

You're a doctor, you do it!

*running out of spew zone*

*googling for new snowmobile suit & boots*

I found him and dressed him for a mission. I had a chopper drop him off 900 miles from anywhere and put some tacks in his boots for giggles.

Thanks AMN
I knew he'd go running right for you ... sucka! He nevers learns. :ROTFLMAO:
:hug:

Okay, someone ordered EM in a Speedo. It's hard to believe how much he has endured, he looks so gooood!

That would be me, and yes he looks way to good. You could at least give him a pot belly and some duck tape over his crotch..LOL

LOL, SAL!

Don't forget, Sal, EM is really a 30-yr.-old guy in the prime of his life, in peak physical condition, and had a brilliant future ahead of him.... except, we have snatched him out of logical living to give him symptoms of MS.

Well, I used to look pretty good before MS too, so we can't have EM looking fit as a fiddle...the jerk...LOL!

Where is EM?
 

AMN had dropped EM off several days ago in the desert, I think :Ponder: . Has he returned yet? Was he wearing his GPS so we can find him. He better not be sitting in front of an a/c somewhere sipping a margarita without us. Can't have him getting too comfortable you know?

LMAO... this is great.
Hey if EM doesn't make it back, I know a couple people who could play the part. :icon_twisted:

LOL, Chelle, I think we could all come up with someone who would fit nicely into the part of EM.:D

Okay, I just got a radio transmission from the posse, they found him and have agreed to run a belt sander on his bare feet before he walks home behind their camels.

He looks a little rough, but they said he's numb from head to toe and some other malarkey about being tired. I ordered them to make him double-time it at least as far as North America.

LOL, Cindy, did he catch any fish?

:ROTFLMAO: :ROTFLMAO: Priceless!

Well, I have this horrible head cold and I need to pass it on to someone. So, who better to cough and sneeze on then.....


Drum roll please..........

http://dl5.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...zdrnniyepk.gif



Empathy Man!



He can have my cold and everything else! And he stills looks so good!

*weeping with joy*

HE LIVES! HE LIVES!:thud::circlelove::holysheep::Head-Spin::ROTFLMAO::winner_first_h4h::Thanx::Thanx: :Thanx:


Oh, thank you so much Twappy, I've missed EM! Is he really okay?:hug::grouphug:

OMG, why didn't I think of EM!! My cold is all better now...rats.:D

Sorry Taffers..I hate it that your head and nose are all full of snoggies..Yuck...

Feel better..:hug:

I've just read this entire thread and I'm laughing so hard I scared the cat right out of the room!! :ROTFLMAO::ROTFLMAO::ROTFLMAO:

Are we still giving this man some of our invisible symptoms? I think he needs a scuba flipper for one foot and a stiletto heel for the other. Oh, and some extra large haz-mat gloves and a shirt with fifty teeny buttons to fasten.:eek:

Kay enters the fray.... in stealth mode...

Empathy Man, oh dear sweet Empathy Man?

Guess what WE have lined up for ya today?

*hold still while I slide this extra-large pair of rubber gardening gloves on ya!*

you have a dentist appointment in 30 minutes.

now, FLOSS your TEETH!

to properly impair your vision, we have CHANGED the bathroom bulbs to 40 watters!

and smeared VASELINE all over the mirror, to boot. :D

Empathy Man, are you familiar with the term Trigeminal Neuralgia?

*onlookers see Kay sneakily sidling up behind Empathy Man*

what's that in her hand, kiddies?

omg, she's clutching an ICEPICK!

stay tuned...

Shouldn't EM get a few loads of Laundry going before theat Dentist's? He did really make a mess in his tights with that "chocolate" bar.

Good idea, Kicker, here, I'll add a few of these bowling balls to the basket. Cayo, you have any of that vaseline left? Could you put some on the laundry basket handles, please?

That duct tape on his "privates" is probably coming loose - maybe we sould bind him up again. No wait - let's rip it off so he can have the nerve pain effect "down there". :eek:

jab, right ear

Jab !, right cheekbone

JAB !!, right eyebrow

JAB !!!!, under right ear

havin' FUN yet, Mr. EM?

:cool:

what? ya gotta wee wee, AGAIN?

but... you say you're "burning" a bit?

oh, sorry 'bout that duct tape, you-know-where.

it seems our dear sweet Kitty gets her jollies in a strange fashion.

:D

but you'll soon adjust to your NEW NORMAL, Mr. Empathy.

it's time to CRAWL to the bathroom, clanking your ball 'n' chain merrily.

I Vaselined the grab bars by the pottie for ya!

2K2C, can you pass me that roll of barbed wire?

*Kay gleefully rubs hand together, and cackles hideously*

:p

*snicker*

I guess poor old EM is in relapse yet again, huh? And here I thought he was on some sort of wonderful vacation!


Y'all are taking too much joy in EM's pain and suffering!

Anyone need a hatpin?:D

shhhhh, River...

I'm busy applying Vaseline to the laundry basket handles, the doorknobs, and EM's coffee mug handle, while he's at the dentist's office.

*meanwhile, across town*

Isn't it a SHAME that they're going to have to perform his ROOT CANAL without benefit of anesthesia?

"Nurse, vise grips, please?" (slap)

"Pliers?" (slap)

"Hammer?" (slap)

"Chisel?" (slap)

They're READY for you now, Mr. EM....

Just lemme fasten this bib around your neck.

"Why no anasthesia?" you dazedly inquire?

in order to duplicate the frazzled mis-wired NERVES of MS, of course!

:eek::confused::eek:

For extra pleasure, we'll be injecting you repeatedly with SALINE, and PRETENDING you're getting Lidocaine.

"What? You're only numb in your hands and FEET, but not your mouth?"

:D

"Now please hold very still, this will only hurt a LITTLE."

:nopity::Thats-Funneh::ROTFLMAO::ROTFLMAO::ROTFLMAO::Head-Spin::ROTFLMAO::ROTFLMAO::ROTFLMAO:

Empathy Man.

I'm The Moose and this is Sidekick Boy...

These women have been beating you down pretty well.:)

What's on your mind? Want to sit and talk for awhile?:hug:

(They duct taped your willy!!!??? DEAR GOD, man! We have more in common than I thought).

Moose!!!!!!!!:eek: You're back!!! :Trapeze 2: :Excited:

We've missed you so much - hope everything is good with you! Welcome back!! :grouphug:

*Empathy Man staggers in the front door, wild-eyed, and clutching his jaw*

"Have a nice time at the dentist?"

(mumble, mumble - gurgle, sputter...)

"I made your favorite dinner!"

(too bad ya can't EAT any of it... watch my sincere apology... )

"Sit in this nice comfy arm chair, prop up your feet on this footstool, and rest a bit."

*Evil-Kay slips out, and returns, armed with a vial of rattlesnake venom*

"This will make your lower leg swell up a bit, but don't worry, it's not fatal."

Kay injects venom above right ankle...

"It doesn't hurt, just makes the skin feel tight, and a bit stiff."

*clicketty click, snicketty - snack*

(Suddenly, we hear the ominous sound of steel bands clamping down on EM's wrists and ankles, in order to hold him firmly in place during the administration of our next invisible pseudo-symptom.)

Empathy Man looks left, and sees an IRONING BOARD, laden with TWO steaming-hot irons...

What on EARTH is this dastardly woman plotting now?

:eek:

2k...throwing a rusty 50lb bale that's been hanging on the barn wall for... oh say 35 years.

GIRL, I don't even wanna know what that is for! :hit-safe:





Hey there Moose! :cowboy2: Good to see you visiting today!

oh yes, you do!

:Red eyes::icon_twisted::Red eyes:

:holysheep: Seems that some of us have some pent up aggression that we need to get rid of!!! :icon_twisted:

Oh, Empathy Man. . . can you please come here for a minute?

:boy(sad): ***EM peeks around the corner - unsure of his safety with this group of women***

Kay won't hurt you - I promise......***I'll hold him down Kay while you "iron" the bottom of his feet***

:icon_twisted::icon_twisted::icon_twisted::nopity:

EMPATHY MAN is BAAAAAAACK!

Man, he must've been buried deep; haven't seen him in a loooong while.

I smell Twiffy's hand in this. :D

Yes, EM now has Twiffy's awful Cold, so we should do something nice for him......Like, put his jammies in the freezer..:cool:

lol, proof I have MS, right there!

I read this and was totally AMAZED that you knew WHICH part of EM's anatomy which were destined to next receive my attentions, via the steaming hot irons...

I thought, either Kitty is a MIND-reader, or burning feet are also on YOUR list of sx.

then, I remembered... I PM'd ya, whining about my burning feet this morning!

:D

hey, Kay has an idea! (starts channeling the Grinch). An awful idea. Kay's got a wonderful, awful idea....

let's cause Empathy Man to FORGET stuff next, eh?

lemme think... he can lose his car keys!

and have to call AAA, and be all embarrassed when they slim-jimmy his car.

and forget his kid's names for a moment!

and hurt their feelings, and confuse them...

and lose some really important FILES at work!

and have his boss YELL at him, and threaten to FIRE him!

and he can lose his glasses, and search his ENTIRE house for 'em, for an HOUR...

and then turn BRIGHT RED when some smart **** points out that his glasses are sitting RIGHT on top of his HEAD, and laugh and laugh at him!

sometimes abject humiliation can be worse than outright torment, eh?

yeah, I feel really bad about that one...

honestly, I'm not like that at all... I'm a real pacifist, and a kind person... I don't know what came over me................

:Girl(angel-flying):

on the other hand, it's a sick kinda fun to apply duct tape to delicate areas of Mr. Empathy Man (like a Voodoo Doll...) while recalling the burning of parasthesias, and the pain of bladder infections...

:hit-safe::icon_evil::Wheel: