Actually it was Taffy who suggested that we tape his Wee Willy Winkee down. . . . .that was last year sometime - so it's way past time to do it again!

The duct tape is a good tool - the adhesive is strong enough to withstand moisture...and when you RIP it off it takes all hair that happened to be in that area with it - so he will get the double benefit of pain plus itching that will come later!!!

Me? Would I have duct tape poor old Mr. EM's little dinky down?:D

Why yes, Taffy, it was you who suggested it! :You-Rock: See below:


:Thats-Funneh: Let's see. He is a man.....Got any duct tape left? Good!

Let's tape down his Thingy and he can have ED!


It was an excellent idea!! :Bow: Wherever did you come up with it? You wouldn't have done this to anyone else in a previous life would you?? :shocked:

I'm waiting for the guys to come up with Empathy Gal. . . that should be a very interesting thread!! :Grin-Nod:

Sounds like bikini waxing , something Non-MS women do. Women are odd ducks aren't they sometimes? EM should look so good in his Speedo this summer!!!!!

EEWWWWW! A hairless man in a Speedo (that does not fit well due to the duct tape incident :eek:). Sure is slim pickins here in MSville. All we need is a man with bermuda shorts, black socks and sandals!! :holysheep:

:D

you gals sure make my day sometimes!

tee hee hee
 

I knew DH was reading over my shoulder again (even though he will deny it) but I knew for sure when he said
OMG!!
:eek:

Yes; be afraid dear; be verrry afraid because there are more out there like me!!
:p

Don't be surprised if all the duct tape in your house is now found in the garbage, Janie! :eek:

Shouldn't he itch somewhere that he cant reach? I think some PMDD would do him a world of good too.

I'm so glad I read these.

EM joins an online message board.

He posts in full detail he's journey with MS...the members secretly question his validity (and/or superpowers), but he makes them giggle so they post on his thread.

He soon becomes the mascot of the message board and most valued member.

Tie me 'mpathy Man down, sport, tie me 'mpathy Man down!

Torment 'im til he's blue, Sue, and IRON his feet 'til he's skew!

all together now...

:D:cool::D

Does EM have any children? A few toddlers he can't catch running around and have to make meals for, drive to various places, etc., kids!!! might be good for him. As a single father with MS, does he date?

Empathy Man recently gave an interview to Painful Living With MS Magazine, and this is what he said:

"Since the infamous "Duct Tape Incident" I no longer have the desire to date."

He continued: "I never know if I will be ABLE to... you know..."

His woeful tale encompassed burning, strange tingles, itching, and painful spasms...

He spoke of not being able to when he wanted, and being ABLE at inappropriate times.

Single fatherhood also took its toll: "Who wants to date a man with THREE strikes against him?"

He was referring to the Pseudo-MS inflicted upon him by those ignominious HARPIES over at NeuroTalk as strike #1, the bungee cords on his arms as #2, and his children as the third strike.

And he mentioned that the ball and chains attached to his ankles weren't helping either... as they made it difficult for him to dress, drive, and take romantic strolls in the park.

This writer, while feeling some small degree of sadness for Empathy Man, couldn't help but acknowledge that his plight was suffered by thousands of women...

Ooooh looky! THanks to Dr. Kayo, Empathy Man is going to PT now!!!

Bend your leg up here EM...goooood...now STRETCH!!!

Was that a whiiiiine Empathy Man??? No whining!

Now put the other leg over here...and strettttch...spasm? Work through the pain, girly man! It will make you feel better if you practice it every day until you fall over!!!

I am sure there's another helper here with MORE exercises for you! Stay in that Twisted Man position until someone comes along and QUIT making that horrible NOISE, will you please???

You're scaring the other patients!!!:mad:

I think it's time for a little trot on the treadmill. :D

What's that? It's going a little too fast for you?? Well, a brisk walk will help loosen up those leg muscles. . . . let's see. . . . . about a "6" will do for speed. :yikes:

I've got an idea - let's use the incline!! That will give your legs a better workout in a shorter amount of time. Aren't I helpful?? :Noooo:

Huh? I can't hear you, EM, over the hum of the treadmill and all the noise your feet are making slapping the conveyor belt. Speak up! You seem short of breath! Need a break? OK - you've only got 20 more minutes but I can switch it up to a "9" and let you off after 13 minutes. Wanna do that? :thud:

:Poke:why isn't he answering me???

Well, EM, I'm so glad that you got to take such a nice little walk!

Now it's time for yoga. Strip.

Just stick your arms here, good, now your legs up here, good; now stretch your neck and get your head up... HERE. Good. Let's get those legs up now, higher... okay, back a little... more... Okay, I'm just going to help you feel the burn by urging your feet down here to the floor, you'll love it!, it's just like a back spasm.

*sticking Baclafen & Zanaflex juuuuusst out of reach...*

Oh my; you all are so naughty and I am so proud of you all!! :D

You are such an inspiration to me! *wipes away tears*

Maybe someday I will relinquish my innocence and be more like you! :p

Day #2 of PT should include some water aerobics.

First, let's put the ankle weights on - 25 pounds each should do.......gotta get that "legs of lead" feeling.

EM!!! Come up off the bottom of the pool!! :eek: You have to tread the water for aerobics - not hang out at the bottom!! Sheesh.....gotta explain every detail to him. :rolleyes:

Can't forget the scuba flippers - they'll provide that ever so attractive "waddle walk" that we all enjoy so much. Now get out of the pool - yeah, yeah I know it's hard with weights on your ankles - quitchurwhinin' and get on out. :boy(sad):

Tomorrow we'll try Track and Field...... :eek:

What's that. EM says he can no longer swim with those weights and bungee cords on him? GIRLIE-MAN!

He's Just Not Trying.

Mornin' EM, I've fixed you a little snack to get you started today.

4 Tylenol PM
6 Exlax
3 Valium
2 NoDoz
and to wash it down, a nice cup of crunchy peanut butter.

snorklin' flippers on? check!

bungee cords firmly attached to arms? check!

medically-induced motion sickness in gear? check!

head-gear with pongee-sticks ready? CHECK !!

okay, EM, now that you're all warmed up from the PT, please follow me across the hall, for your Qigong class.

you'll love it, many people say it helps alleviate their MS symptoms.

okay, first position... begin to take a slow deep breath... that's gooooooood...

now, bring your arms together in front of you, as if you were going to pray.

gracefully bring them UP over your head in a gentle curved arc...

that's it... doing GOOD !!

now, while your arms are headed up, rise up onto your tippytoes, all during that slow in-breath.

now, bring your arms........

:thud:

"Hey, can I get some HELP back here! Somebody, call a DOCTOR!"

:eek:

I was wonderin' when you were gonna show up to help EM with his PT, Kay!! :D I knew you'd have some good "ideas"!! :p

Just discovered this thread and haven't read all the posts yet, butttt, I think Empathy Man needs a broken ankle with a humongous cast on it. Let's see if he can get down the stairs on crutches more gracefully than I did last night. Ka-thunk, ka-thunk, ka-thunk...

Oh EM needs a heating pad for that achey back....

PT has been harder on him than we thought.

*throws EM an extension cord*

ouch, Twinkie!

ah, yes... I'm soooo delightfully *cruel* at inflicting "empathetic responses" in our poor EM.

:D

now, anybody know how we can artificially induce some HOT FLASHES ??

:winky:

just to, sorta, add extra texture to his experience, so to speak.

:p

I woke up at 4:30 am and thought I heard a siren! :confused: :Dunno:

:Thats-Funneh:Then I realized the high keening wail I heard was actually EM. Why is he doing that in his sleep?

:Poke:Wakes him up to tell him to stop making that horrible noise AGAIN! :mad:

Jeeez! You look fine to me!!! Take a pill!!!:mad2:

Yeah, crank that baby up to EXTRA HIGH - that'll give him that delightful burning sensation we all enjoy so much.

Might give him the experience of "hot flashes", too! :icon_twisted::icon_twisted::icon_twisted::tongue:

He should take a pill or shot or something What??!!! Nothing works? Get better medicine. What!!? There is none. Well, get a better doctor. EM, thought I'd pass on some advice I've gotten

*firing up jets in hot tub*

Lemme borrow that extension cord a minute.

In ya' go, EM, c'mon, it's therapeutic!

hm. you look a little limp there, ole boy.

*pitching live end of extension cord into hot tub*

Hold still! YOU'RE GONNA GET FATIGUED!

Between AMN and DM....not sure who has the wittiest brain....your imaginations are incrediable! :D

*The 'whupwhupwhup' sound of helicopter blades can be heard. What looks like fireworks erupt around EM, effectively scattering the hateful witches torturing him. In the confusion, MooseMan drops in just next to EM riding a litter for extracting people in just such situations.*

"BACK UP, @#$%'s! There's only so much a cat can handle of this silliness. Go play S&M with your boyfriends".

*MooseMan swings his patented BrainPainCane toward the banshees as they try to regroup. Shoving EM into the litter, he sheilds him from the barrage of rocks being chunked their way. Giving the chopper a quick thumbs up, the two are safley whisked away.*

" ... and to all, a good night"!

*Three 'Naughty Nurses' attend to EM's wounds in the helicopter as MooseMan looks on in disbelief.*

"Dear God, man... MORE Duct tape"??!!

And as the helicopter rises and starts flying over the trees, a loud BOOM! is heard coming from the helicopter engine.

The helicopter starts to spin (because the pilot failed the chapter on "auto rotation" in helicopter school, and Empathy Man starts to feel some really horrible vertigo.

*Aforementioned banshee/harpy picks up whip*

"That can be arranged."

*goes off to inflict pleasure elsewhere*

:D:eek::D

As Nickalodeon's all-day M*A*S*H* marathon draws to its close, Moose awakens with a start weeping and clutching his favorite G.I. Joe doll.



Meanwhile, back at the ranch, EM is looking a little prunie. C'mon, EM, hop out of the toasty tub and dry off now. NOW, let's go! Get up!

What do you mean you're all numb and tingling? Who cares? You look fine to me!

Moose, don't draw attention to yourself. Run, man, run.

Kicker!!! Where ya' been, beautiful? I haven't seen you in a little bit!

Don't draw attention to myself?

HA!

As a proffesional chucklehead/court jester... that's all I can do well.:rolleyes:

EM has a little nervous diarhea today..:eek: ...caused by anxiety from unexpected guests...LOL.

Here you go EM!

Have some of these lovely chocolate EX Lax tabs!! There now; isn't that better.....

I'll bring in some toilet tissue tomorrow... along with the key to the bathroom.

Have a nice day!