How are you, Chris?

Yes, thinking about you, my Friend.

Oh Chris, I'm so sorry to hear of the losses you and your DH have endured. You're definitely NOT a failure, maybe it's just not God's time right now??? Waaaay back in the dark ages, my ex and I were trying to have a baby, but at the same time my mother was dying of cancer, my elderly grandmother lived with her and my father. My help was needed there for cooking, grocery shopping, errands, etc. It had been over four years of trying and wouldn't you know it, as soon as my mother passed, the next month found me pregnant. We went on to have three all together.

There's always hope, but adoption is a wonderful option too. There are so many needy children out there that would love a family like yours.

I'll be praying for your situation.

Love.........

Thank you all SO VERY MUCH for your kind thoughts and words.

My husband and I took some much needed time to ourselves this weekend, and did quite a bit of talking about our situation. Right now, we're going to focus our energies on getting our house built and moved into, and then we are going to decide where to go from here as far as adoption, etc.

It's been a long road, and we've gotten this far. I suppose things could be a lot worse, and we should be thankful for the wonderful things and people in our lives. I never thought becoming a parent would be so difficult. But, somehow, someway we will one day be able to parent a child whether it is our own or someone else's who may or may not have special needs.

It's all in God's hands at this point, and the only thing we can do is hope and pray.

Again, thank you all so much for you thoughts and concern. What a lovely group of people you are and have become to me in such a short period of time.

All the best,
Chris

Dear Chris--

I apologize for not replying to your post sooner; I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this as well as the * MS.

I was in a similar position to yours 15 years ago. Let me add my cyber voice to those who have already expressed the incredible frustration and sense of disbelief that something so "easy" as getting your own baby into the nursery just seems to be an impossibility.

And you're right: there is no rhyme or reason and most assuredly nothing remotely resembling "fair play" in this. None at all.

A couple of posters have already mentioned Chinese adoptions.

But let me add also that India has a veritable legion of children for adoption. Now it's a little harder in India--if you have some friends of friends of friends here that can help you grease the wheels there, you'll be amazed at what can happen. And like Chinese adoption, it's pretty much a done deal when you get into international air space--and that has to be a lot of peace of mind for the wonderful people who embark on such an adventure--as well as a life-changing event for the babies they bring home.

And in one of those bitter ironies of life: for more than 20 years, people in India have been unofficially engaged in femicide. A marriageable generation later, girls are in such short supply that they're a commodity. The baby boys are the unwanted ones in many, many places these days.

I'll be sending you positive thoughts and prayers--you're obviously a great gal from what I'm reading on this forum.

Thank you Jane,
What a lovely note!

Chris

I am so sorry for your loss. Allow yourself a little time to grieve, when you
hope for something so much it is a real loss when it doesn't turn out well.

Seeing others going thru easier pregnancies is undoubtedly painful too.
I think you are wise to buy yourself a little time to strengthen your marriage
and rebuild your immediate life.

I so admire the people who choose to adopt and go to the ends of the
earth for children. I don't really know the extent of your disability from
MS, it shouldn't preclude parenting unless you are totally unable to get around, and even then people manage to be good parents.

Good luck. kami