And YOU believed her???

TIME OUT!! TIME OUT!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!

More more ok PLEASE!!!!!! Sue

AMN: Great news! DM won't be on NT all week! She obviously does not have the help of a bookmark on her SIL's computer.

DM:

At any rate, as the 70s ticked away, I worked diligently at Buck's Barn at the golf course. I had incorporated the ceiling fans into my table-top dancing number and it was a big hit. By 1976, people were coming from as far as Iowa to see me perform. Nevermind that IA is just across a bridge from Toad Hollow, the simple truth is, I was becoming a national sensation.

The biggest hit happened when one night, I lost my grip on the fan blade right in the middle of my big number, Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry. I hit hard, right into the lap of a young stud in his flashy disco shirt and Mr.T starter-kit jewelry. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen! Trust me, I had been around. His combed-out chest hair was more than I could resist and since I'd already hit on him from the ceiling fan, I decided to hit on him from his lap.

We had a glorious summer that year. His name was Danny and I had it bad for his charms and groovy ways. We celebrated the bicentennial with fireworks of our own and I have never been happier since...

Whew!

AMN: Come on you guys! Time is wastin' away here and we don't even have her married off yet!

DM: Shut up, AMN... does this computer make my butt look big?

AMN: *smack*

DM: Ouch! Okay, let's see. Danny and I were joined at the hip and knew we were matched for life. We got a VW bus and lived in it down by the river while we saved for our dream house, a bigger van. By Christmas, we had even talked about getting married and the only place that seemed perfect for our nuptials was, naturally, Fargo. We found a charming seamstress who was able to make us decorative, matching white unionsuits, and we set a date, April 1. It was no joke, we meant business.

Our whole families attended our glorious service and the polka band played through the night as we joyfully celebrated our union with Yoohoo, Oreos and Pinochle all around. We were so happy and we were off on our honeymoon in wedded bliss. Say what you want about Toledo, we were in love and their bus service is top-notch.

A few months into our marriage, Danny surprised me with a shock that nearly knocked me over. It seemed that he had been gainfully employed throughout our courtship and had socked away a small fortune. I'll never forget my amazement when Danny handed me the key to a real house! There was even a fake owl in the yard to scare off unwanted rodents! The real surprise came when Danny explained to me that my recent, uncontrolled weight gain meant that we were going to have a baby!...

AND......when the baby was born, we named him Fargo...go figure.. He was born with 10 toes ( on both feet)....He'll be walking in no time.

My hobbies are varied, but I count belching and passing gas as two of the ones that I most enjoy. Funny thing...the ladies quilting bee keeps changing their time and location on me without letting me know. Guess they're just forgetful...

...It was the most joyous time in our young lives so far, yet, we knew that little Fargy was special, and needed special attention. The only meaningful thing I could think of to do for our beautiful son was to give him the same gift my mom had so lovingly given me all those years ago. I had my scarlet "P" surgically removed and transplanted onto little Fargy's forehead, he was, afterall, a polydactyl...