I read your posts and somehow wish I were like you. But, I am not. I'm 46 and totaly w/o family. I even tried to get my ex back, but he will not take me due to my health... Hence, I am alone except for my 6 year old girl. I'm thinking of turning over custody due to health. I want Emily to be happy. She is not with me. She only wants all mother buys her. That is not love or happiness. I spoil her with gifts and always have. I wanted her to have what I did not have. He is unfit, lives with his mother, does not work.... A weak not strong male. But, who is worse. I'm off topic - sorry

I just want to know if there is anyone in the group w/o family, friends, support.. That is me. I don't want to feel so alone.

This sounds like a nice pitty party. It's not. I hate pitty. Ignore everything and just tell me if u too are alone.

Don't amswer me if u are not as alone in this as I am. Maybe we can become friends and not be alone.

Sheena -

I hear your pain - and I can feel it.

I don't have family either...haven't for years. But we are different - I am 32 years old....no children, no partner, etc.

I have two close friends who have helped me - but they both have families/children of their own....so at the end of the day, I'm still alone again. It has been very hard, to put it mildly. I am thankful to have these 2 dear people....but it isn't the same. And the loneliness is SO intense - the nights are the worst...alone with my thoughts, alone with myself.

It isn't easy being sick or having a disease - especially when this disease just snuck up on me - wasn't sick before this hit - at the end of December. I'm not sure if you've read my other posts - but I thought I had a pinched nerve - I still think this isn't really happening to me - except the symptoms haven't gone away and more have come and just been getting worse.


Feel free to send me a message......Hang in there - I'd like to say it gets better - but this is all so new for me - so I don't know for sure myself.

~Keri

ps/I'm so lonely and alone - I even started a thread about girl scout cookies...anytihng to help get thru another lonely night

Sheena

I also live alone -- no kids and I am 51. My closest family members live over 500 miles away and they have their own lives and problems. I do have a few close friends, but I do not feel like I can constantly ask them for help. when I was first dx last spring I also went through several months of feeling very alone and wishing that were not the case. I still have those moments, but overall I am feeling better about being alone now. All it takes is reading some of those posts about unsupportive spouses and I feel ok about my situation.

Sheena, believe me, it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person, with someone who isn't good for you.

I didn't marry until I was in my forties. It was hard, but it's much worse to live or have a relationship with someone unsympathetic, unsupportive, and damaging.

Finding the right person when you're in your forties can be a wonderful thing--and it can happen to you. It happens to a lot of us. You'll find someone mature and experienced, who may be more willing and able to handle things--including chronic illness, either their own or a loved one's.

And it happens when you least expect it--but you've got to be out there where he can find you! I don't mean in bars---just everyday situations, or social, community events. Please, don't give up.

And remember, it happens sometimes when you're not even looking for it!

AMEN!!!

Keely's right, Sheena. I know it's hard to be alone. I've been alone (no husband) for the past seven years almost. Not by choice - my husband passed away - but I have become accustomed to being alone and doubt I'll ever marry again (I'm 47, by the way, and everyone thinks I'm crazy for not getting married again). I have two boys but they are 20 and 24 so it's not like I have small children to care for.

You're pretty new to MS - give yourself some time to adjust. Right now you're very vulnerable and it's probably not the best time to make life altering decisions about anything. Just relax, give yourself some time and remember that you have lots of friends here that care about you.

There’s an old saying . . . be careful what you wish for.

I am almost 49, and have no extended family to speak of either. I lost both my parents when I was much younger, and neither of them were capable parents anyway; dad was an alcoholic and died at age 34, and mom was schizophrenic.

I have two sisters, but both are multi-millionaire’s and not the slightest bit interested in schmoozing with the poor and sick.

I have two fairly young kids at home, and have raised them virtually by myself. I have been separated from my husband for 7 yrs.

I have had Ulcerative Colitis since the early 80’s, and MS (at least since) 1991.

My best friend died of lung cancer (non-smoker) about 5 yrs ago. She was my rock.

About 10 yrs ago, I decided that what was most important to me was to leave a legacy of having raised my children to be responsible, independent and caring adults, and this is what I live for. I also thought long and hard about “how I want people to remember me?”. I strive every day to meet that goal, in case tomorrow is the day. I also feel that whatever I don’t learn in this life, I am destined to repeat in the next. I don’t want to go through these things again, so I am trying hard to make right anything that I am not naturally good at.

So, I think I have a lot of the same circumstances as you, but I have had a much longer time to contemplate my lot in life. Give yourself time to adapt to this new challenge, and then intend to make the best of what you’ve got. You have a child riding on this.

Cherie

I'm not in your situation. I do have great empathy for you all who are in this situation.

What I can do is place you all in my thoughts and prayers. I hate to see people hurting. I guess that's why, in another life, I became a Police Officer to help others.

Just let me say that I appreciate all of your situations.

I am not quite in your exact situation but I do have moments of feeling lonely and/or isolated.

I too am a single mom of 2 DDs and trying to adapt. While they are teens and I do have my BF, parents, and lots of brothers and sisters, friends close by, etc. I still get lonely sometimes.

MS is not an end to everything. Right now you may not be doing well and are still dealing with the after effects of an exacerbation and diagnosis. But keep in mind that for some they may only have 1 exacerbation a year. Don't give up on your DD. She needs to see you pull through this as it will only strengthen her as a person and you too.

Start working on a plan B. Everyone needs a plan B, even a C, D, and E. LOL. That is how we get through life.

Hang in there. You will be fine. Please let us know how you are doing.

You said, "Don't answer me if you're not as alone in this as I am."

Well, I'm lucky to have people around me. And sometimes, I don't feel so lonely. But there were times when I felt completely alone.

It's not about not having anyone in the room, anyone in the house, anyone who's related to you by blood or marriage.

It's about who you let in. And I couldn't let anyone in. There are places we go alone.

Your little girl is just that, a little girl. and she may seem not to give back - kids seems spoiled, selfish. That's just kids being kids. They need to be taught how to express love. She's little more than a baby. And you are all she has, and she is all you really have too. I would think hard about letting her go.

My kids are grown now - 24 and 18. The older one has a child of his own who will be two in April. Trust me, I wondered if my kids cared if I lived or died at times while they were little.

Now I'll catch them talking about memories, laughing, and it's NOT the gifts they recall fondly. It's the time, it's the love, it's the laughter.

They didn't show it then, but it meant something.

And one of them - so far - repaid me with the best gift ever, time with my granddaughter. Priceless.