Originally Posted by Koala77
The list goes on and I mourn for the loss of my career, but the thing that hurts me most is my grandbaby.

I have a beautiful grandson, and I'm too frightened to pick him up in case I drop him. The thing I hate the most about this rotten disease is not being able to be a normal, cuddly grandma, like most grandmas are.


I cried and cried when my first Grandbabies were born, because I knew I could not be the Grandma I had hoped to be.......but, I am still a Grandma and am loved by my GKs.

They come to see me every week and give and get all the loving they need. I pick them up all the time, but I make sure I am sitting down. I've never dropped one yet. I enjoy them all so much and I wouldn't give up being the kind of Grandma I am now, for anything.

Make a deal with your Kids to bring your Grandbabies to visit as often as they can. Sit down on the couch and hold them in your lap...feed them talk to them and cuddle them. Keep some toys and coloring book around for when they are older. They will love to come to see Grandma and Grandpa..

i have only lost what i have allowed MS to take from me...

which at times seems like pretty much everything..

but i will not give up this fight that easy... heck just ask my ex wife how relentless of a fighter i am..

This am serimous stuff. Yer not supposed to make us laugh..

As I read everyone's replies, I realize that I have more than I have lost. I have a wealth of friends, support, and so much more from all of you that I cannot even begin to thank you.

Today as I was "overseeing" a landscape installation, my client asked me how I was doing. I've known her for a while and I honestly didn't know how to answer her. Emotionally? Physically? Mentally? Financially? (a check would be nice! LOL )

I realized that I have been sick since December...literally. This all started with a sinus infection and I have not been well since the first part of December.

Each and every one of you has made some very good points.

I too have lost a lot of weight...22 lbs in the last year, but over all, 70 lbs. But I gained a lot the first 2 years, but I am down overall 20 lbs. Not bad.

I have lost friends. These are people who cannot handle the fact that I cannot do what I once could do. Their loss.

I have gained friends, very good friends.

I have gained a healthy respect for life...although I had that before. When you survive a plane crash, you gain that respect!

I have lost sleep, lots and lots of sleep. It's too bad I can't be productive during these sleepless hours!

Skills I can add to my resume --- bladder control (not incontinence but I wanna pee....), correctly spelling medications I never knew existed, the proper procedure for lab tests, how to tell off an insurance claim processor, how to get medications I need not what the insurance company thinks I need, how many vials of blood it takes for each clinical trial appointment, how long a nap I can take for a contrast MRI....

I've been to DC to testify in front of the FDA, be on a panel FOR the FDA, attend a Public Policy Conference as a Rep for the NMSS, volunteer for the NMSS Society, BE a LAB RAT, I got to ask a US Senator what he's done for medical research!

Maybe being dx'd with this disease has been a blessing in disguise for me. I've had some very exciting things happen to me; I've met some very wonderful people (and will be meeting some more); I had opportunities that I probably wouldn't have had otherwise; but the cost...at least right now is taking its toll on me. I am tired...in pain...and just need to take my own advice and slow down.

Thank you everyone...keep the posts coming. I know that you are helping me so you have to be helping others.

And Greta...yes I do need a raise...wanna buy some trees???? Anyone????

Can I add to skills gained, one that I never thought I would have?

Squatting over the loo with a torch, a mirror, tube of KY and a plastic catheter and actually get urine to flow into that toilet basin??

I think that one deserves a big Hooray!

I mean.....how many of your friends can you boast to about that achievement?

ME ME ME ME!!!

That was one of the first things I learned even BEFORE I was diagnosed!!! LOL!

PS...I hope your 'torch' is the same as our flashlight! Torching "downunder" would not be something I would enjoy nor brag about!!

With my MS diagnosis, I was finally able to find support, and friends. Thanks for pointing that out Av8r. Without my diagnosis, i felt lost. Now i know where I belong in the world, and that has given me so much back that I thought was gone forever. Whatever I lose in the future, I can face it knowing that I have support, and most importantly friends who understand. That means the world to me.

You know what, that is one very important lesson I have learned. I have found out who my friends are over the past few years. I have gained some very good friends and found out that a couple of people I thought were good friends, were not. That was the hardest pill to swallow.

Fortunately for me, my dx was quick. I thought the hardest part was telling my classmates. At that time on that day, it was.

I did giggle when I worked this one out, and yes! Our torch = flashlight in your country!

See what you have done Cheryl. You are an inspiration to newbies that
even with this disease you can still be a remarkable person.