Well, I can add when the drink was spilt RW didn't even miss a beat when it came to eating her dinner...... she just kept on eating!

I know what you mean. I never understood why my Dad always seemed so grumpy when we'd be out and someone would try and help him (he used a walker). Now I know. A hostess in a restaurant tried to take his walker from him while he was getting situated in his chair....he was still using it for balance and help getting into the booth. She had no idea and grabbed it from him so it could be put behind the counter. OMG - if I could have melted into the floor I would have right then!! He snapped at her (loudly) and told her that when he was ready for his walker to be put away he'd let her know.

It seems that when I need help I have to look for it. When I don't need (or want) help there's a line forming of people ready and willing to do it quicker and better than I can.

I try very hard to be gracious and appreciative of these kind folks.....it's better than the alternative!! But, it's taught me to be much more sensitive to other people's boundaries. I no longer assume that just because someone is in a wheelchair or using a mobility device that they automatically need help.

about those sheets...

In "olden" days, when a couple went upstairs after the wedding and during the reception, the sheets were hung out the window as a demonstration of the woman's virtue.

I was thinking, if you want help with your sheets...maybe you should just hang them out the window...someone is bound to stop by and ask what the heck you are doing!

It is one way to get someone to wash your bed linens.

*Smack*.. I could have helped you, to make this whine a whole lot better, but you just had to do it yourself..

P.S. I don't do bedding..

interesting post Cindy, i too, when I need help it isnt around and versa vicesa

as for asking for help if I truely need it I do ask, other wise I am same way, just never thought about it before, I will do it in my way in my own time, I do wish my kids were more forth coming with offers of assitance, but in the same breath it may be my fault they are not more forth coming, I am too stubborn and set in my ways and when they do ask i always say if you hear a loud thud i need help

AMN - A simple "No, thanks. I need to have it done a specific way. But I do need help changing my sheets. What are you doing Tuesdays." This way you'll let them know that you need it done a certain way but you are opening them up to the possibility of giving you the help that you really need.

I checked out plane tickets and although I would have absolutely no problem helping you on Tuesdays with your sheets, my budget and bank account has a HUGE problem with it.

Aw, c'mon!!! Maybe everyone could ante up their frequent flyer miles for a good cause?????

Yep, T, that's what I usually say and it works with kind strangers. It's my own freakin' friends who mock me and scream out loud at each other. Sometimes, I'd like to smack 'em with a medieval spike ball.

I truly understand what AMN is saying and the point she is trying to make.

Sometimes I need help but would prefer it to be the way I need it and not the way the person who is offering it would prefer. They seem to think I am ungrateful but quite the contrary.

As AMN pointed out, it takes me less time to do it my way than it would with someone else's help. I know what needs to be done, how, and in what order.

Here's one example: pruning trees - only about 500-600. I used to be able to do it in one, maybe two days. Now it takes me a week. My husband has offered to help me which I have discovered makes the task twice as long. Why, you ask. Well, he insists that each day I haul all the tools back and forth from the field to the shed as well as clean up all the limbs that I have pruned. That alone takes half the day.

Since it doesn't rain here, there is no need to haul everything back into the shed. I can leave everything out in the field where I left off the day before thus saving myself time and energy.

The problem is that he wants to help his way and not the way I need help. He doesn't know how to prune trees for retail (I have tried to teach him and even had someone else try!)

Solution: I prune without his help.

He can now mow the field with the tractor and not run over the fence, the irrigation pipe, or knock down trees!

Hey Now!

I DID give you two ALL the napkins on my end! Someone HAD to guard that delicious food while you all were laughing and taking pics of the mishap!

Cindy, if they're REALLY friends, maybe you need to just sit down with them and explain how the mocking and screaming makes you feel. If they aren't really friends, maybe you need new friends?

I remember one Bible study recently where we discussed how to meet people's needs. You'd think that would be no-brainer, but that's exactly the problem.

The way to meet people's needs is to LISTEN, find out (from them) what their needs are, then act. The point was, we meet THEIR NEEDS, not what we think their needs should be. Good advice for all.