[GladysD]

Hi

Does my Mother have the right to call and speak to my Doctors? She's not listed as my emergency contact. I don't have my health care proxy signed as of yet.

Is this possible? Is it legal? Is it ethical?

I just got off the phone with one of my closest friends. Soon after I left my mothers to move back home with my husband, she called her and left a voicemail.

Stated that I HAD been wandering during those two weeks and needed assistance getting back home. Claimed that I was hearing evil voices, et al. She'd even claimed that I was borrowing money from friends and stealing things. All kinds of fabrications! She really laid in on thick to my friend.

{Really, last summer I was hearing noises and phrases on the tv--like the queen has heart problems, stood out, and bumps and some clangs--not alot, but that was before realizing I had MS---Last summer I was post-pathum and fatigued, in a flare}

She stated that she had spoken with my neuro and had him concerned as well. She stated that the next visit to my father, they'd had a place all lined up for me.

Is this possible? For her to have spoken with my neuro? Or anyone else in the medical community?

If true, I'm appalled! Actually, I'm appalled to find this all out! My paranoia was feeling like she and her dh were looking to get me committed and take my kids from me. THAT"S the extent of my 'Paranoid Delusions" And guess what? It was really being planned....guess I wasn't paranoid after all!!!

See, my mother is the type of woman, that to the outside world, she's perfect, she's sweet! She's soo nice and helpful! Always being told how they should make her a saint!

I confronted her about this. She denied, told me it was all my father's doing, she was just concerned because I left(to come home to my husband as an adult decision) and she didn't know where I was. She claims I cannot take care of myself. Which couldnt be further from the truth.

I've been such a people-pleaser all my life. Typical perfectionist who has issues with procrastination. Yes, I'm prone to verbally express my anger...I'm sure some of you have read some 'angry' posts over time!

I'm looking forward to dealing with a therapist and get my side of my story recorded and documented!

My neuro can't carry on a conversation with her about me, can he??? There goes my feelings of trust!!!

I'm so hurt....

[SallyC]

Holy Cow!! Speaking of "Mother Dearest" !!

She can probably talk to your Doc, if he's crazy enough to listen, but he CANNOT divulge any medical info about you to her or anyone without your written permission.

I think I'm glad you're back with DH and I hope he is understanding and in your corner.

[Jomar]

I'm not exactly sure.
She could talk to them???, but they should not be talking to her about your health care.
It should only be a one way discussion.
It's hard to know how much her "input" might have affected drs opinions on your treatment/care..

I guess you will have to bring this up with the Dr, to let him know she is not trustworthy...so he doesn't believe whatever she told him.

[SandyC]

Absolutely not. It is against the law for any medical professional to speak to anyone other than the patient about your condition. Even Jim had to sign at the urologist that I could have access to his records/medical information. I would call the office and tell them they broke confidentiality laws and you are not happy. That is outragious! I think it's time to switch neuros at this point if you can and tell mom to never ever call your doctors again without you knowing about it.

[Curious]

kinda long. from the ama

Patient confidentiality
http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/4610.html full article.

this is the first paragraph

Physicians have always had a duty to keep their patients' confidences. In essence, the physician's duty to maintain confidentiality means that a physician may not disclose any medical information revealed by a patient or discovered by a physician in connection with the treatment of a patient. In general, AMA's Code of Medical Ethics states that the information disclosed to a physician during the course of the patient-physician relationship is confidential to the utmost degree. As explained by the AMA's Council on Ethical and Judicial Affairs, the purpose of a physician's ethical duty to maintain patient confidentiality is to allow the patient to feel free to make a full and frank disclosure of information to the physician with the knowledge that the physician will protect the confidential nature of the information disclosed. Full disclosure enables the physician to diagnose conditions properly and to treat the patient appropriately. In return for the patient's honesty, the physician generally should not reveal confidential communications or information without the patient's express consent unless required to disclose the information by law. There are exceptions to the rule, such as where a patient threatens bodily harm to himself or herself or to another person.

[Junie]

Being a ex nurse and on both sides I can say with fact that your privacy rights were violated and that Dr needs to be reported to The health Dept board unless you gave him the right to speak to your mom, or she has power of attorney over your health care!! They are not even allowed to leave a message on your voice mail/machine without your written consent! Trust me I know this for a fact unless the rule is different from state to state which I highly doubt! I am so sorry to hear that yet another bad NS is out in the world practicing with this type of behavior!! Stick it to him, get mad, you have more then every right! I think its called Heppa in this state (TN) and I must sign one each time I see anyone in medical field! They are toast if they violate mine!

[GladysD]

I see him again at the end of August. I'm going to ask if she did, indeed contact him. I know Mother was calling all kinds of people during that time frame, spewing forth all kinds of information about Me....because she was "So Concerned".

When I did see him IN May, I was complaining that I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. How my mother used to tell me that AD's were no good, etc. A little information was shared by me to him regarding the situation. He mentioned that sometimes 'Mother Knows Best'. I found it an odd statement? in the least. I asked him if it was him that I should talk with or a therapist? He informed me a therapist.

I have my therapist appointment in a little over a week.

Let's hope in the least it's a one-sided conversation...or maybe even a conversation she never had? I pray the later. But, to me, even with a one sided conversation, I fear it interferes with my treatment and how I'm perceived. Just another 'crazy' MSer, ya know? *sigh*

Thanks for your wonderfully supportive responses! I've realized the worst kind of betrayal in life is that of the mother/daughter bond. It's been like this my whole life. Always talking about me behind my back, then denying it...or treating my reaction to such behavior as blown out of proportion....

You'd be angry too...

Guess that's why I'm itchy to get to alanon?

Thanks Again!

[Curious]

((((((gladys))))))

have you tried the al-anon podcast?

http://al-anonfamilygroups.org/Podcasts/FirstSteps/

[Erin524]

Originally Posted by Junie

Being a ex nurse and on both sides I can say with fact that your privacy rights were violated and that Dr needs to be reported to The health Dept board unless you gave him the right to speak to your mom, or she has power of attorney over your health care!! They are not even allowed to leave a message on your voice mail/machine without your written consent! Trust me I know this for a fact unless the rule is different from state to state which I highly doubt! I am so sorry to hear that yet another bad NS is out in the world practicing with this type of behavior!! Stick it to him, get mad, you have more then every right! I think its called Heppa in this state (TN) and I must sign one each time I see anyone in medical field! They are toast if they violate mine!

Do you mean HIPAA? (The Health Insurance Portability & Accountability Act of 1996)

[Curious]

HIPAA doesn't cover what a dr says to people ( like your mom) , it covers what your insurance company can or anyone in the dr's office who handles billing.

we used to have a clinic associated with the club.

wiki has a good article on HIPAA.