Some days I just want to be able to hop in the car and go to the mall BUT I know I can't make it by myself, I can't walk that far even with the cane, I can't lift the scooter out of the car, it's too hot...........so on and so on! And I long for those day when I could do just that.

If DH wants to go for a ride to the shore, I have to think....is it too hot? Is the scooter charged? Are there accessible bathrooms available?? Some days it is just easier to stay home!!!

I think we all have those feelings and would love to have our old lives back............but in the long run we are thankful for whatever good things we still have in our lives.

Yesterday I decide to be Ms Independence and went off to get some needed stuff at the Commissary. This was after a few hours of debating if the weather was OK, my fatigue level etc.

I get to the store......no scooters available, so I decide to get a normal cart and walk...well...kinda walk, doing my Igor impression and I find .....they have rearranged the entire store

I managed to get the bare necessities, bread, milk and
TP and I was out the door!! I need to go back with DH when a cart is available and check this out!

Risby, sorry to hear that they rearranged the whole store! That must have really stunk. Sometimes I think stores do that on purpose just to confuse us all.

Oh, don't get me wrong guys, I usually do look on the bright side. More and more with work stress it affects me. When I wasn't working, I was terribly bored but did a lot better. I had time to do things at my own pace. The pocketbook doesn't mind working, but boy, I think my body does. And I'm nowhere near disability eligible. Part of the problem may be, too, that I haven't had a block of time off since early October last year.

Today, my legs actually can move. They're heavy but not feeling as if I need cranes. So that's a good thing.

Sometimes ya just get tired of bouncing the trampoline of ups and downs. Some of you have been doing this a whole lot longer than I have. Maybe one day I'll get used to it too. After 5 years, I'm still not used to it.

Gonna go soak my ******offness with a glass of milk and a PB&J sandwich. Somehow that always seems to improve my outlook on life.

Working does add a HUGE burden to this disease, no doubt about it!! We all seem to try to milk that, till we just can't any more . . . then sometimes to p/t till that is too much too.

I don't mean to belittle the hard times that everyone goes through either. It's during the "adjustment" periods that I struggled the most, but I just happen to be in position right now where I am not making adjustments, and nothing critical is going on. I'll take it . . . for as long as it lasts.

Cherie

I get POed off and on; sometimes majorly mad and other times just a quick mental scream over something annoying like trying to tie my shoes with a tremor.

I think what really ticks me off the most is that I no longer can be Normal. I have to accept this "new normal" and never got any say over it at all. I never asked for this and I didn't get to make a concious choice over any of it. That really PO's me more than anything.

Well, that and nobody seeing me as me. I am no longer sen as Jane, the girl with long hair or a loud mouth, smart cookie etc. Now they instead see me as Jane, the girl with braces & crutches/chair, whoscrews up words, stumbles, has a "problem"

How many times can you say the F word..

a lot. Lately I am realizing that I am really an angry person since this all started. I have to really work on that!

24/7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Depends on the day but MS on any given day tends to P me off. Most frustrating to me are the simple things, like not being able to get my bleeping fingers to work properly when trying to pick up or hold something. Getting up from a sitting position not realizing I can't feel one of my legs - priceless. The numerous aches and pains, sucky fatigue, etc. I could go on and on but you get the picture. And yes, believe it or not, most days I try to maintain a positive outlook in spite of it all.

Oh, and I'm thinking that perhaps Sally's got my house bugged or something - if I'm having a really bad day, you'd lose count.

Funny. When I first had problems my H decided that after I had trouble getting up after an outdoor concert in the late summer that I wasn't going to walk around the fairgrounds with everyone. I got PO'd and stormed off after telling him and everyone else with us who didn't say, why can't she decide for herself, that I wasn't a cripple, wasn't going to let them treat me like a bad 2 year old, and that I could make my OWN decisions. I didn't want to be seen as a problem with a person.

So yeah, I hear you. I guess you gotta remind people that you are YOU. And maybe one day you'll find people who (like us) accept you for YOU and not your assistive devices, speech impediments, and lovely drunken sailor walk. (although I can assure you those are probably ALL highly attractive features--kind of like accessories on a new car, only better )

You've never heard me talk.


I was too. I was po'd at everything and anyone. That slowly went away when I realized that I was just po'd at being unable to control any of it and that my body, the only thing I could control for my whole life, had betrayed me. Then I was po'd at the disease and not everyone else. But it took a bit. Part of my problem was that people around me didn't understand and didn't seem like they wanted to try to understand.


I would be too if I had a kid with MS.

It's the little things that I DO take for granted--going up a stairs, walking, or talking--that get me when they don't work right. Yes. I'm with you on that!

You never know. Our SallyC can be a pretty tricky little gal!

yeah, I was thinking about starting a new thread "MS After 20 Years" or something similarly relevant, entertaining, cosmic, and informative....

but I kept forgetting all those GREAT things I thunk up to say afore asleep, due to waking at 3 am with my bod attempting a demi-plié style, rigor-mortis maneuver.

I'd mentally compose some more, and then, flush! it goes away... because I must race to the lav, hurridly fumble with my pants drawstring, and struggle to PEEL my panties off, whilst simultaneously centering and LOWERING myself over the bowl, because I don't wanna have to clean up the floor afterwards.

or, I think up some EXCELLENT point, and try to move faster than molasses to jot it down, trip, fall, and bash my head, which induces amnesia, alas.

or, I'd go to type it out on my craptop, discover my vision's gone double, and lose my train of thought while hunting for my pirate's eyepatch.

gor blimey, avast ye maties, and ARGGGGHHHHH !!!




these minor complications lead to extensive use of naughty language.