I was recently visiting family and saw a cousin I have not seen in a couple of years. She heard through the family grapevine that I got diagnosed with MS almost 2 years ago. The first thing she says to me is "so how sick are you?" and "how come you are not disabled?" "You actually look like nothing is wrong." Somehow the fact that she used the word disabled in such a negative way and proceeded to dig for personal medical info really upset me. I had no idea what to say, really. I suppose I could have given her a lesson on what MS is or tell her to butt out however I just stood there feeling stunned. I think it kind of freaked me out too since I don't really think of myself as disabled -- but will I be disabled in the future??

Well, I guess there is a first time for everything....my first MS-related encounter with a rude ignorant person.

Yes, this can happen alot, especially with family you don't see often. It has with me, anyway. My philosophy has been that if the person is someone I care about and who cares about me, I'll take the time to educate them. Some people though are just too ignorant, or they have preconceived notions about MS that they can't get rid of. For rude strangers, I try to come up with something pithy that they won't forget.

that is so hard to deal with. I normally make comments such as "gee, I am busy right now, visiting, and catching up, if you REALLY want to know, let me have your email address, and we can catch up through email, or phone calls, or letters, or whatever method you pick at that moment." you will find that most folks dont really want to know, but just want to be nosey for that minute. A few will surprise you and truly be interested in how you are.

Till then, I am the master at the put off. Gee! thats awesome, but I am headed for that yummy cheese dip! can we catch up later?"

When most folks say "its good to see you." I say "its good to be seen!" or a "im good, day by day, hanging in there or small comments like that." most folks just dont know what to say.

It sure is frustrating, Nat. I try to keep a handful of NMSS brochures with me when I'm meeting up with folk in that kind of situation. It's my peaceful way of saying, "We all use the same internet, do your own &^%$ homework and let me enjoy myself."

If I'm in the mood to, I might say, "Well, it all started on a cold November morn, it was 1962, a winter chill was in the air, and my mom felt those familiar pangs that warned her of the impending birth of her 4th child, me. I was a good baby, I'm told.................................. by the time I was 3, they say that..................................... I remember when I was 4, I met my oldest friend. They were building 7 houses down the road and............................................... By the time we started kindergarten......................." If they're still there, I keep going.

As for those remarks about how you look, Ted Bundy never looked like a serial killer, either.

I would have smacked her and then said sorry I have no control over that arm.

I've had the old "but you don't look like there's anything wrong with you!" as if it's a shock that you can look like anything other than a person on a deathbed...

I just reply "I KNOW! Neither do you! Aren't we lucky?" and smile and excuse myself!

(it always shuts them up while they think about what I just said and it gives me time to escape to the other side of the room!)

I kind of like the "gosh, you dont look like a complete dumb %&&, I can usually tell, but then I've got optic neuritis this week". (a friend told me that one...altho the rude moron might not understand the optic neuritis reference)

It's totally frustrating.....especially coming from people who see you every day. I can almost tolerate it from those who don't see me very often......but like Cindy said we all use the same Internet....take an interest if you're so concerned and look up some stuff for yourself. I'm not here to explain everything to everybody. I'm almost to the point of having some cards made up with www.nmss.com printed on one side and "Look It Up" printed on the other in bright orange ink. Whenever someone makes a remark to me I'll just hand them a card!!

Awww...I knew you guys would make me feel better!!

I never do this but






Dh really got me ticked last night, via phone. I was stressing about all the stuff I have to do to get the house ready to sell, while he sits in Florida with his dream job and room service.



He was kinda blowing off what I was saying, like it'll all be fine....I just need to take it easy, rest.

I hate it when people say to rest when that's the LAST thing I have time to do. I'm not sleeping, my leg is burning, my neck won't turn and I have 10 rooms to pack and paint and I have time to rest?



Imma tell him WHAT.

I turned off my phone and Imma go buy me sompin purdy. Let my credit card bill do the talkin for me.