I'm not having a pity party, just feeling kind of pensive. I can't remember the last time I felt good. Five years? More?

Somehow it's gotten to the point where a "good" day doesn't mean what it used to...back when nothing hurt, everything worked, there was no foggy film over my brain...back when I could go all day without thinking about how near the bathroom was, what I dared to eat, if a symptom was getting worse or not. When I wasn't circling the drain by mid- to late afternoon.

I can't remember how it felt when good didn't mean "not too lousy". When "fine, thank you" didn't mean "no worse". I should stop thinking and go to bed.

I'm so sorry that you don't feel "good"

I remember when I used to wake up singing every morning (honestly!)

Now I wake up and moan and groan and stretch and test joints and muscles, and I look in the mirror and wonder why I always look like I am -tired/angry/disgusted/depressed/old! (pick one!)

I've decided to go with overweight cause I can do something about that when it comes to the aches and pains, and sunexposure rather than age cause I can accept those frown lines and wrinkles if I blame them on squinting at the sun!!

I wish you more joyous days and less pain, more days of feeling like the 'jack in the box' rather than the drain circling!

The meaning of "feeling good" has changed for me, over the years. I felt good when I was 20, WaaHoo!!!!

I feel good now, too, though, only in a different way. It's good to be alive, it's good to not be in pain, I feel Good when it's not humid, when it's cool and when I can still stand up on my own two feet...one more time.

Funny, I've been thinking about this lately, too..I can't remember the last time I felt "good"..Probably would recognize it anymore..

The sad thing is that I did not appreciate how good I felt when things were good. I did not know that my situation would change. I just took it for granted that I felt the way I was supposed to feel and never thought it would be any different.

Also, I can't remember when I started to not feel good. It must have just snuck up on me. Either that or it has been so long I can't remember that far back.

BTY...
Wish I could make it all better for ya...

Before I get out of bed in the morning, I thank the universe for another day, and for all of the people in my life that have shown me love. Then I get up and test the balance/creaky joints, etc. Sometimes the crummy sxs overshadow the gratitude I felt before arising...but at least I start the day in a positive mode...
yeah, it sometimes is downhill from there, but sometimes the positive attitude overcomes any MS crud.
Probably sounds kind of New Agey, but it helps me...and sometimes, just a good cry helps even more...

I don'think anyone knows what they got til it's gone (re-phrasing Joni Mitchell.) Don't think we should, Sure don't want my kids spending their moments NOW being grateful for what they may lose in future. It makes me sad only if I think too hard about these being the good old days, cause they stink. But, hey, could be worse. NOW is all we get. NOW changes.