Hey Erin !!!

I hope today had been a good day for you

Now, it is me who is blue... Oh well... hehe The never ending story !

Well, my story... Im not sure I should post it in this forum, as it will go so off topic LOL, but in summary, I can tell you that since last year, Im having trouble with my eyes (because I had a bad surgery ), I suffer with fibromyalgia, depression... plus, the guy I used to love is getting married... my dog died... I mean, everything came in a nasty combo at the same time ! So, as you can imagine, my life has changed dramatically... from taking zero medicine, to take more than 10 pills a day.... from being in love, to feel extremely lonely... from being enthusiastic to being blue 90 % of the time... from being an active girl, to being in bed and falling asleep most of the time..... All that stuff give me stress.... as it wasnt enough !!!

I have no clue why all this is happening to me... and... I dont know what I have to learn... and the most stressful part, I dont know if I will be able to live like this, with this feelings... and for how long....

So, that's why I understand when you feel you miss your old life... I miss mine like crazy and... uff... I keep thinking, and thinking about my past...

Oh gosh... I guess I rambled enough

Take care sweetie. I send you tons of hugs... and more hugs.... plus hugs...

Well, I know one thing that is positive in this situation... I found NeuroTalk !

Hi Erin,
I'm glad we could make you smile!

My honey was in my son's boat, parked in our "toy barn" getting some paperwork out for our son. He stepped out like he steps out of our boat - off the bow onto the part of the trailer that sticks up on the front - but son's boat isn't as stable as our apparently and Steve lost his footing.

That's all he really remembers, but we think his other foot got caught up some how in the bow of the boat. Anyway, he smacked his head on something on the way down (the edge of the boat, maybe) and fractured his skull in two places. We're so fortunate! People die from injuries like his all the time, or have permanent short term memory loss and a miriad of other problems. It was horrible when I saw him in the ER - there was blood coming out his ear, he couldn't hear anything at all and had short term memory loss and just kept asking me over and over what was going on, and saying he didn't remember. I mean it would be 2 minutes between the same question.

Luckily, my in-laws were staying at our house and found him in the barn shortly after it happened. They were here, though, for my son's wedding - it was just 4 DAYS after Steve's accident. That sure put everything in a tizzy, let me tell you! Believe it or not, this man of mine is so strong that although he couldn't stay for the reception, he made it to the wedding! Doesn't remember much, and it may have set him back some, but he was determined not to miss it. I love him SO MUCH.

Also luckily, I was doing really well myself last summer, so I was able to take care of him (for a change!). He's doing much better now. He had to get hearing aids, can't taste much, but he has his memory in tact, can think, walk, talk, and doesn't have the personality changes and aggression that can come with that type injury. I am concerned though that all this stress with my problems is causing problems for him. I can see it in his face and his hearing is backsliding even with the aids.

Well, now you have his story, too. Health, and life, are so fragile. My daughter says one good thing that came of Steve's accident is that before everyone was so focused on me that they took him for granted. She always thought he was invincible (he is a VERY STRONG man), and this showed her that she needs to show him more love and concern too.
Their relationship has improved considerably since then; and he told me once that he never realized that so many people "liked" him.

So, I guess there is good that comes of almost everything!

I'm better today, emotionally, except stressing over bills - I'm the major wage earner and since I've been ordered home this is going to be TOUGH!
We'll get through it though - as long as we have family and friends like we have, the "stuff" doesn't matter!

Take care, sweetie!

Awwww I know exactly how you feel Erin! Thats how I feel sometimes too. I think despite how strong we all are, mentally and emotionally, it just builds up. And we have to let all the frustration and sadness out. When I became sick I was a somewhat healthy 23 year old, with three boys and married. My husband and I divorced 2 years ago. I think my illness played a major part.

So I totally miss my old life! I constantly think I am a poor excuse for a mom anymore. It makes me so upset to think about all that, that I often avoid thinking about it. My mom has recently started having a lot of medical issues. So I am trying not to rely on her so much. She lives with my boyfriend, me and my kids. Recently things have just been especially difficult. And I guess we pretty much all realize there are people worse off than us.

Oh and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!


Hope you feel better soon!

Happy belated birthday, Erin! I'm sorry it was a tough day for you.

I think the hardest part with any illness is acceptance because you can never fully get rid of the physical problem and your mind will always want to do what you used to. There are days when I miss things like road trips so much I can hardly stand it.

For me, I now love days that are so routine that they are almost boring. Why? Because it means nothing new health-wise is getting in my way. There's been a lot of that for me in the past 10 years. I just enjoy the simple pleasures like watching new birds come to the feeders in the spring. And hobbies.

I think the most important things I do every day - and this may sound selfish - are to pamper myself as much as possible. Make myself feel good. Whether it's music or painting my toe nails or watching a good movie.

You're so young . . . just enjoy every single day as much as you can. And when that doesn't work, have a room where you can throw pillows and scream and rant and rave, while everyone else is outside!

Annie

It IS so hard just accepting that (for now) this is the "new" me...but it will pass....

I love road trips too! My hubby and I get behind the wheel and just drive! I have always enjoyed them - they make me feel so free!

Now I too thrive and relish the norm to the point of boring - funny what we appreciate, isn't it? LOL!

I did ask my neuro to up my antidepressant to 30 mgs a day and he agreed! He assured me that MG and depression usually go hand in hand......go figure!

My pastor came by the other day and prayed with me - it felt great! I feel so much more @ peace when I see him........I have also started making pillows for the neuro ward @ the Methodist for little "goody" bags on my good days - it is so depressing on that floor. I am always the youngest - by a lot - and most of the people there are alone and scared, so when I do have the energy I am going to volunteer there.......THe Methodist has been very, very good to me!

I went and had my nails done the other day and it felt awesome! My face and body may have chnaged, but I still want to feel feminine, ya know?

Can't wait to hear from you!
Erin

It does build up! I think I am in the depression stage right now.....I always feel like I am letting someone down - my hubby and son especially - and that is just no way to live......so I have to let it go. Devon is 17, so he can make his own dinner occasionally.......the house can get messy......it really isn't that big of a deal......

I am sorry to hear your mom ishaving health issues. It is so hard to deal with a sick parent and have to whole role reversal thing.........just remember to make time for YOU! You DESERVE it!

Our families will just have to "lump" it for a while. It will get better!

My thoughts and prayers are with you, honey. It will get better!

Big, big hugs!
Erin

Wow! Your poor hubby! What an incredible man! I can't think of anyone else that would do that! He sounds AMAZING!

"For better or worse" really mean something - that is rare nowadays - sadly.....

I am going up to Dallas to see my grandparent's this weekend - get my dose of grandma! She is such a strong woman...they have been married 60+ years and are still best friends - Mike and I aspire to be just like them.

I am so glad I found this site. It has been a real life saver. Unless you actually have MG (or a chronic illness) you just don't understand.....

Can't wait to hear from you!
Big, big hugs!
Erin

Today was much better! 4 days on the sofa really made me feel better! LOL! I am going to see my grandparents this weekend and can't wait - seeing my grandma always makes me feel so much better......

I am sorry you are going through so much! There are days when I look up and ask God "Why me?", but they are fewer and further between now.....

I asked my doc to up my antidepressants for now and he agreed - yay! I am all for getting through things, but I knew I needed a little help to get through this whole grieving process.....

Just remember, if you ever need to talk I am HERE - you can pm me or send me a message @ erinhermes@hotmail.com.....

Hang in there sweetie - it will get better!

Big hugs!
Erin

Erin, When I first got sick, I thought about what I had to learn. After living with it for awhile, I started to think that it was others that had the learning to do! So don't let the guilt creep in. Your family will continue to love you in spite of this horrid illness. Do you love them for what they can do FOR you? I didn't think so.

Annie

Yessss ! So glad to read you are better !!!
Enjoy your granparents !!!! I dont have any left I miss them tons.... Have a lovely weekend sweetie !!!

Thank you so much for your message dear. You are too sweet

Talk to you soon !!!!
Love,
Majo.