Hi i am new here. i am a forty year old married mother of a 15 year old boy. i live in arkansas and i am a stay at home mom. i came upon this chatroom when i was searching for things dealing with grief. i lost my father on january 24, 2007. he died with copd. for those of you whom has never wittnessed anyone passing away with this horrible disease. i can only describe it as having to watch someone that you love sufficate, slowly day by day. when death does finally come you never forget the sound of their last breath and the purple look on their entire body. i sat in my dad`s room day by day watching this happen for almost a month. this horible disease also takes their minds. the lack of oxygen makes them out in left field. you watch as the nursing personal gives them increasing doses of hallidol, staydol, and sometimes morphine. i have lost my grandmothers, aunts, uncles, couosins, and even friends. i have lost many people in my lifetime. i have never felt this way before. how long will this greif last? when will the pain lessen? when will i be able to sleep the entire night again? when will i stop seeing and hearing his last breath each time i close my eyes? i am asking for anyons imput in this. please help a daughter to deal with losing her father.