Feeling low these days. Eleven months since my diagnosis. Have spent a good six of them wiped out with burning pain and fatigue and insomnia, which is where I am today.

Future? If I don't get a full-time job, I'm finished. And if I do? I'm working a 30% load at present and can barely bring myself to face it. Also, the house is going into foreclosure next month.

I fear I am losing my will to live. All I want to do is go to bed.

Am I missing something?

"I fear I am losing my will to live. All I want to do is go to bed.

Am I missing something? "

unfortunately and fortunately the will to live is stamped into our soul. Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom and stay there for a long time before hope jolts us into reality.
whats the worst that can happen? If you cant work and cannot eat then steal food from the supermarket ,if you get caught you go to jail , free rent, free food, free gym, lots of friends (low risk type), not sure about meds though?

see aint that bad yet hay?

Another thought is to make sure you get caught
with enough $$ value to make sure
you don't get off on probation.
Be arrogant and unlikeable as well as defiant to the authorities
to guarantee being 'sent up the river'.

Bob reminds me of a movie I once saw forget the name but some guy was going to pull the pin because he lost his high flying job and gambled away his home and now penniless . somebody suggested he rob a bank. he had nothing to lose anyway cause he was going to pull the pin, and if he got out , no problem new life in Brazil. If he got caught then pull the pin in the bank.

nervous
many times I/ we have all felt total despair but there is always a bright side even if its black humor.

what about that young guy who was paralyzed from the chest down and volunteered for the electronic implants and now can walk a few steps? great story and for those that don't know paraplegics like this fellow can suffer P/N and central nervous system pain that is as bad or if not worse than ours.

http://infinistreams.com/2011/05/20/...spinal-implant

I am sorry for all you are facing. I have phases where I loose hope. At those times I just try to get through the day in the best way I can and try to comfort myself in ways I can.
Do you have family and friends to support and help you?
I am sorry about the foreclosure. Have you looked into disability?
Are you able to see a therapist or psychiatrist? I have severe insomnia and that with the high pain,anxiety,I could go on is a very bad cycle. I have tried meds and am on them but have you for sleep etc?
I wish I had more to offer. I hope things look up soon.

I heard about this on NPR
My son is a quadriplegic since 2009 and it is of interest to me.