Hi welcome though I am sorry about your pain and struggles
I will try to offer a few thoughts. First I think it is good you are going to therapy and you also may want to talk about meds for the mental side. As my pain doctor says you can't face health problems like this and it not impact you mentally. Between self coping skills,meds,therapy it can help to cope. I would also encourage you and your boyfriend to get therapy together. Have you told him what you stated here about your fears of wheelchair and the children? If not I think you need to.
I understand your fears trust me but they may not happen and then those fears would of stopped you from experiencing happiness. This condition has sent me into a very fearful and worried person so I try to make small goals and to stay in the day. It is a constant battle.
Though I know you are struggling and I don't want to take away from that I do feel you have really wored hard and I give you so much credit. Look at all the positives you have accomplished through the barriers?
On a side note you stated you had a lot of testing but what about for auto immune conditions etc? What type of blood work etc have you had?
If you want an email buddy please feel free to PM me.