You have my sympathies. It sounds as if you are really struggling. You are right a lot of people here are older than you. For example i am 40 but I have had this for 8 years and it's never a nice thing whenever it happens.

The thing I want to say is that over the 8 years I have been on this forum, I have seen many people after 3,4, or 5 years disappear. Then they have written to advise that either they have recovered or they have recovered enough to lead a normal life again so they move on from here. I remember private messages from a few of these people and they told me that they thought recovery was impossible, but they eventually recovered. You can't loose hope. I too have lost friends because of this illness but have made better friends in the process. I also have body wide PN, Graves' disease,open back surgery, foot drop, anxiety, and a few other bits and pieces. I wake up each morning not really knowing how I am going to feel, also living with that uncertainty. But I am still here by the grace of god, therefore I must make the most of my life. You have hit a low point now, but you are a strong person and I know you won't give up. You have a lot of years ahead of you, and one day this illness will be a distant blur. Don't give up, and getting down is quite normal. It's ok to feel sad now and again. I stress the fact that you may need better pain management. Also it sounds as if you can use some distraction from all this too. As crappy as you feel you should try to get your mind off of this as much as you can. Watch comedies,cook, go for pleasant walks, talk to friends (even if only on phone). Try to get some sun, read a good book. If you want a laugh I strongly recommend the book Handbags and Homicide. The entire time I was reading that book I was giggling and I totally forgot all about my aches and pains. Funny that huh??

Yes, it is alarming to me too, that so many younger people are appearing here.

Pernicious anemia will show up in younger people commonly, and so will CMT. But many coming here don't have either IMO.
PA can be autoimmune with antibodies attacking the parietal cells of the stomach, leading to poor or no absorption of B12 from food. Or it can be inherited, either by itself or the tendency for autoimmune disease to be inherited.

I think it is the push of vaccines, and RX medications doing it.
Add to that pollutants in our environment, and you have a recipe for PN. I just read about a neighborhood in New Jersey sitting on a dump of toxic chromium.... that is being investigated.http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?sec...rld&id=9039277

Soldiers living on military bases, are at risk too. The most contaminated living places are military posts. All sorts of toxins there.

And arsenic in water...people with wells, should be getting their water tested. Arsenic is common in the ground all over the world in fact.

So once PN was an old person's disorder. But not any more unfortunately.

At least we have this venue to try and help. But I agree it is a very depressing situation for mostly everyone who develops PN.

Featherbullet I would like to suggest that you find someone that you can talk to and be able to vent, scream, cry and complain to face to face. It doesnt have to be a mental health professional though it can be, but someone who will listen to you and accept you for what you are going through.

Aussie has excellant suggestions to do things to divert your attention away from your medical problems for a little while each day.

I have found looking at the long term and what may happen or could happen or what you might go through will just bury you. Take life in small bites. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will come out the other side.

Hi guys. Thanks for the kind words.
That is a lot of questions to answer. But basically my levels of b12 are fine and I'm still supplementing..even eating a bunch of meat when I'm a vegetarian at heart because I need the iron, b12 and protein. All my levels were fine though...and yes I take fish oil, and flax, AND China seeds. I'm fine there.
I've been a residential house cleaner for 9 years..so there is a level of toxin exposure there. But since I've been working for myself, I buy non toxic prpducts. My clients know I don't like harsh chemicals. If this was the cause, wouldnt every house cleaner or person that cleans their home alot develop problems? Anyhow, I'm getting out of it now because of the carpel tunnel.

I have psychiatric problems as well so this is just all too much for me. I've been chronically depressed and anxious since I was young.
My thumb is losing feeling as we speak, and I have pain all along my spine ..right down to my tailbone. I NEVER know how bad I'm going to feel, so I've decided to stop making plans.
The MRI isn't for another month, and then who knows how long it'll take until the results are in. I just don't want to wait any longer. Now waiting to see another neurologist, and it could be 9 months like the last one.

I've done all the blood tests, I've never had shingles,the CT scan of my brain did not show any abnormalities. My guts even hurt. They burn like hell..all the way up to my chest. I tried antacids but they didnt touch the pain. It burns when I urinate..yes I know..baking soda. :-) not always convenient ..
My life revolves around my pain and sadness.
I was motivated up until now..exercising, socializing, dating even. But I am not prepared to put someone through hell dealing with my life.
Oh, and I do not drink. At all..the only drugs I take are the ones prescribed. I do smoke, but the doctor says that is not a cause for neuropathy..just could delay the healing... but then he also said that with the stress I have , not to focus on quitting.

I'm writing out a list of things that will need to be looked after, once I'm gone. To make it easier for my family. I see that I bring them down ..and they feel helpless. My whole life has been problems..

I thank everyone for their suggestions, but I have tried them all.
I have a pass to the YMCA,but have to cancel it because I can't afford it. I have a pain psychologist, a case worker,all covered by OHIP( Ontario's health plan) I don't eat gluten and have been through all the food testing..I eat healthy shakes every day..Im quite thin as well.

I don't have insurance or a cent in my pocket..I did try acupuncture when I was working..it did nothing either!.I try distraction but the pain always wins. I'm tired of being strong..this is not going away and I don't feel up to battling my way through every single moment of my life. I don't have kids or even a spouse..so I don't really have anyone to stick around for.

I'm happy to hear that some people have recovered..and I wish you all the same. :-)

I disagree on the dating part. You should date and you should try to enjoy that aspect of your life. Let others decide what they can handle and what they can't handle. You would be surprised. I have been with a man going on 3 years now, I call him my husband because this how I see him. Believe it or not he is an athlete. He plays many sports and is an avid golfer and tennis player. I call him my muse because his drive has rubbed off on me and I have become athletic and physically fit despite all my ailments. I am now even living out my dream and dancing classical ballet.

I felt the same way as you initially, but it was my father who gave me a good shake and told me that everyone deserves love and to let others be the judge and to stop making people's mind up for them.

So now I am passing that on to you. You are a young woman with a lot of life ahead of you. Don't stop dating, companionship is very important, and can be very healing as well.

featherbullet - I found some phone numbers that you may be able to call if you are feeling overwhelmed http://www.suicidehotlines.com/canada.html You probably aren't as much of a burden on your family as you think you are - families are supposed to support one another, and I bet it's the depression talking. We all go through hard times - we are all human and sometimes we just need extra support. Don't feel guilty for that!

We all know how you feel. This is a pain in the butt, however we must keep trying to find an answer. I know you're going through a hard time right now, but just take each day at a time, as hard as that is. You're doing all the right things (seeing a neurologist, being on this forum, getting an MRI) and you never know what is around the corner.

[QUOTE=featherbullet;97097

I'm writing out a list of things that will need to be looked after, once I'm gone. To make it easier for my family. I see that I bring them down ..and they feel helpless. My whole life has been pr

I don't have insurance or a cent in my pocket..I did try acupuncture when I was working..it did nothing either!.I try distraction but the pain always wins. I'm tired of being strong..this is not going away and I don't feel up to battling my way through every single moment of my life. I don't have kids or even a spouse..so I don't really have anyone to stick around for.

I'm happy to hear that some people have recovered..and I wish you all the same. :-)[/QUOTE]

Hi Feather,
I really feel the need to respond to your statement concerning writing a list for your family members and making it easier on them.
I am a family member of a person who committed suicide. I can promise you doing that will not make it easier for them then having you here.
My sister lived in pain due to severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. She also got addicted to drugs and alcohol trying to get away from that pain. She too thought the only way out was to leave this world. She apparently thought we all would be better off without her and her problems. We are not!!!! You see my sister took a part of my heart with her when she left. Please if you feel you don't want to keep going , it for your family. Suicide is never the answer. If only the people who do it could look into the future before they do and see what it does to their loved ones and friends. My mother will never recover from this. Basically, she is just waiting to die so she can join my sister.
Please trust me when I tell you that no matter how much trouble you think you cause your family, they would not want you to do this! Please get yourself some help!
Pick up the phone and call the hotline Boogirl sent to you. Your family will be so grateful that you did.
hopeful

don't give up. There are physicians that can and will help you. Also the YMCA has a scholarchip program for the people who can't afford it. It is free to go there, and they don't turn anyone away. Good way to make friends and try a swim. You are not a burden to your family. Keep coming back here for support. We will try to help on NT. All pain patients feels that way at times. It is important to have that good support team. I care about you. ginnie

Hey everyone. I'm still here
I have a pain psychologist, a case manager, friends and family, a good GP..but am still getting nowhere. However..I just got approved for the fentynl patch and will be switching to that tomorrow. Honestly..if it doesn't work..there is nothing better.
I had to put my YMCA pass on hold because I'm in so much debt. I also don't do public pools. :/

My spine and feet are on fire..feels like my body is not even my own with all the other pains, weakness, etc. I'm only comfortable on my couch with ice packs on me.
One day at a time eh...
If the patch helps more and disability approves me..I stand a chance..but things don't seem to go my way
I'll let you folks know. I talked to the psychologist about the suicidal feelings . I've already called a crisis line..but at the end of the day my body is still on fire so no amount of talking in the world helps that!!

I hope that one day there will be better treatment for PN. I'm on the first line medications and am still. In agony..so that is not so impressive is it!!!
I don't even know the cause yet...that could take months.
I'm really rambling..I'm sorry.

I appreciate the support. Love to all of my fellow sufferers

Talk here all that you want. I care about you. I have PN too and fight the battle of depression. I hope you will keep coming back here. I also hope that some good doctor will help you more. No council in the world works unless you have a good pain management doctor along side. I so hope it can get better for you, and that you don't loose hope. ginnie