I can not believe how bad I have gotten in a week. It has never been this bad. I can't sing my way out of this, pray my way out of this, pop pills and supplements, nothing. I am sinking into a deep dark pit. I have not slept in days, when I do it is for 20 minutes at a time. I can't function. I keep my feet in a bowl of water constantly with bags on my feet to protect my skin, nothing else works. Life has come to a complete and total stop.

I have never experienced non stop pain like this. If I am lucky I get 20 minute breaks. Most times when I do sleep I am sitting up in a chair with my feet in the water.

Worse of all, it is moving into my hands. I have tried to deny it to myself, but I just cant anymore.

I give up. Drugs and comatose sounds better than this. Now, how to find a doctor? Do I need a neurologist? Do I have to have a referal or can I find one myself? I don't trust the general doctor I have to give me a decent referal in this small town.

Im so lost and even my faith is not helping right now.