Not much more can be said.
Your family still appreciate you.
I grew up with a mother in chronic pain with no hope of change. Ever few years they would perform a chordotomy (spelling?) to relieve some symptoms but naturally it added now issues. She knew one day should would be a quadriplegic and have to be in care.
She did manage to inspire many people over the years and was a strong advocate for euthanasia. As kids we learned to roll with the good days and bad. A lot of our friends would get a shock when they understood in our teens years what that sort of life was really like.

But it helped to make me who I am today and I'm grateful she never gave up along the way.

Like others when you need to find a way to vent and let it out and I hope it helps you to gather the strength to move forward and find the joys still in your life.