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Old 05-25-2007, 06:39 PM #4
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Dakota Dakota is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 344
15 yr Member
Dakota Dakota is offline
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Dakota's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 344
15 yr Member
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For me (married 34 yeears), it would be damaging for me to hide my feelings -- it would cause us to grow apart. But I try to find a way to talk about them that will have a positive outcome -- not make my husband defensive or angry or hurt. And I work at keeping alllines of communication open, not just talking about my feelings, but asking him about his. Our relationship has changed due to the PN, and I know that even though he knows it is not my fault, he sometimes gets angry about what has happened to us, because it has happened to us, not just me. I know I sometimes over burden him because he is so nice to fetch things for me and do things for me. I try to "pay him back" in other ways, being supportive of his emotional needs. Of course, 34 years of intimacy gives you a lot of knowledge of what the other needs. We all have our weaknesses and strengths, and although I have PN, I still have a lot of my strengths. One of them is that I never expect him to read my mind! I always ask for what I need. Sometimes the answer is no, and I live with that, but usually it is yes. I did pick a good husband! He's a peach! He has polycystic kidney disease, so sometime in the future, I may be caring for him. I hope I can be as caring for him as he has been for me.
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