Help me build Empathy Man
 

I thought it would be fun if we all joined in creating our own super hero, Empathy Man. Let us suppose that he is of average stats all around, and say he's oooohh, about 30 (and very good looking).

Let's get him started on his journey on the morning of his first day of being our hero.

Empathy Man, I've prepared your breakfast:

A quart of strong coffee,
A sleeping pill,
A whole box of Ex-Lax

I've layed out some things for you to wear today:
a nice, double shot of Novacaine for your feet.
I've put a few hot chili peppers into these fat, stiff gloves, and you should wear them throughout the day in all you do.

Go forth, man! Live and enjoy!

Who else will help Empathy Man become all he can be???

He needs some pins sticking in his legs.

And lots of water to drink, every 1/2 hour he has to drink 20 oz of water so he can have that full bladder feeling.

And fog glasses to wear.

And a ball and chain around at least one ankle to drag around.:p

Oh, and a hot coal in one shoe and an ice cube in the other.

Brilliant work, girls! What if we tie his ankles together along with the ball & chain, oh, about 7 inches apart to help with those special moments when he loses his balance?

And FG, I'll heat those little pins to about 2500°F for full effect.

Let's see. He is a man.....Got any duct tape left? Good!

Let's tape down his Thingy and he can have ED!

I'm here to offer him a fifth of Absolute. Not for the pleasure of it, but enough to completely exhaust him, and make him walk around as if he were drunk, and enjoy the lovely remarks from people asking him if indeed he's drunk in the middle of the day (we won't tell anyone he is really drunk though).;)

I'm free! My in-laws are GONE!!!!!

EVIL WOMAN!!! ROFLMAO!!!!

Well, Sally. How about if we offer him a Cialis, but we make sure he has difficulty swallowing? Don't you know he would chew it no matter how bad it tasted.;)

Great idea, Chris!

Time for Empathy Man to have a spasm.

*applying channel locks to big toe, twisting against ankle held in vise*

You're welcome, yes, you may have another!

*adding visegrips to mid-foot and bending the wrong way*

MAD FUNNY thread!

Time for empathy man to wake up from a midday nap.

:eek: (He realises he's all numb, but has to pass water.

Go ahead and walk on those numb limbs without falling empathy man. We'll simply sit here and watch.

Was that cruel?:winky:

Oh no! Empathy Man has fallen clean over! Whatever shall we do??

*putting major pressure on bladder*

Whoopsie, EM, you wet yourself, even with Mr. Winky all taped down! Poor thing.

Uh, uh, uh, not so fast, you can't get up that easily!

*putting 3 dozen bowling balls in duffel onto EM's back*

Okay, now try!

DEPENDS?!?!?!?!:p

Speaking of bladder pressure and napping. Watch Mr. Empathy Man while I take a nap. Be good to him, OK?:D

Depends on what!?! LOL, have a good snooze, I'm right there with ya' (in spirit).

Someone will surely give Empathy Man some lunch while we take a rest.

*sticking toe into Empathy Man's string/chain arrangement*

Oh dear, he fell again.

Good idea AMN! :) Now, give him three valium, and in a half hour starting shooting questions at him while you have the TV blaring. If he gives you the wrong answer, or a dumb look, shout louder!!

If he still doesn't get it right, ask him if he's ignoring you or if he needs a hearing aid... :p

I can't think of anything to add to Empathy Man.

I just wanted to say that you guys are cracking me up!!

So let me get this straight, you have NO symptoms!?!!!???



faker.

Ruh Roh! Empathy Man's Ex-Lax is kicking in! Make waaaaaay!!!!!

Taffy! Get out of the bathroom!!!!!!!!

I think that candy bar you gave me wasn't chocolate was it?

As EM comes limping into the bathroom, Taffy sticks out her dainty little foot.

Trip........

Well, at least you are in the bathroom when you fall!

What are you holding your nose for? It was that AMN and her "Candy Bar".

I have been reading this all day and cracking up!

When can we play empathy boss?

DOes empathy man only have MS?

Or can he have TOS as well? If he does...he is having a little flare right now and his circulation has gone bad and his muscles are all spasmed. Might need to operate and take out his rib.:eek: Think we can operate in the bathroom?

Is it sterile in there? (the bathroom!)

Not after that candy bar AMN gave you. :eek:

Empathy Man doesn't have any disease! He's in perfect health, we're just teaching him how to have empathy! Maybe we should invite him to all the different forums one each day, and see what happens to him. I sure don't know much about the other conditions here, it might be a terrific learning experience!

All in favor of lending Empathy Man to other diseases/conditions?

I'll gladly escort him next door to see how much he can take!

For now, Empathy Man has gone too long without another dose of fatigue, so I'm feeding him some lunch.

*pushing plate forward*

Here ya' go, EM, some nice Unisom salad, a delicious jumbo margarita, and 72 fiber capsules. Oh, still thirsty? Yeah, that bout with the trots probably dehydrated you a bit. Here, have some of this lovely Clamato with your freshly diced valium.

Now for dessert, another shot of Novacaine in the old fingers and this dainty pastry. Uh, uh, uh, put those thick, stiff gloves back on now. *poking in a few fresh hot chili peppers and some dry ice for kicks.

No, no, no, you can't be tired. Jamming Provigil in EM's mouth, here, and no whining about the palpatations this time.

How's your diaper?

This is GREAT!!! How about a couple splints strapped onto your legs, EM? What do you mean you can't walk stiff-legged??? Uh Oh!!! That fiber you had for lunch kicking in? Just fall backward toward the tidy bowl and hope you land in the right place. Whew -- you must be "pooped out" -- maybe a little nap. Keep those legs stiff, sooner or later you'll get them up on the bed and under the blankets. Maybe???

No, it's not the end of the day EM. You'll probably be up all night anyway with insomnia. Isn't this fun!

Don't I wish!! :)

Okay, here goes...

Stick his legs in buckets of ice cubes, then stick a catheter in his arm and insist that he has to come in for three days and have a really yucky substance dripped into his veins that may or may not make him feel a little better, but almost surely will cause him to a) get no sleep, b) make food taste awful, c) bloat him up, d) make him irritable, and e) give him hives.

Then, have him begin choking on pills, food, and even his own saliva.

Finally, make him totally uninterested in sex (oy vey!).

Oh! Great idea! Now that he's suffering from duct-tape-induced ED, and Chris gave him a little pill, the IVSM will really throw him for a loop. Capital idea! It will be extra fun when the IVSM gives him that day of false energy, we'll keep an eye out for that and make sure he over-does it that day.

*tying a ligature around Empathy Man's neck*

Here ya' go, Empathy Man, swallowing is your new adventure. Today, I will also dump this jar of spiders into your socks, and I threw in some more hot needles for you.

These are your new shoes for today, they're cement. One weighs 85 lbs. and the other weighs 10 lbs. Have fun!

*firing up Dremel* okay, now I'm going to sand your fingertips down so that you'll enjoy that charming burning sensation, how's that?

Oh, one more thing, *produces a corset from dm's famous trunk of everything* I'm gonna give you a little hug.

*motioning to others*

I need a little help tightening this thing, ya'll.

This is such fun..Wheeeeeee!!!

Ok EM, it's time to do your exercises, so first tie 50lb weights to each ankle and then lift each leg up and hold it for 10 seconds. Now stretch those legs out and Holdddd, now try to bend your knee..:p

Did you all ever see the empathy kit at http://multiplesclerosissucks.com ? This is our Friend Ian Parberry's Site.

Oh here it is, so you don't have to search around..
http://multiplesclerosissucks.com/empathy.html

LMAO!! Sally, how did I miss that!?! It's perfect! We might have to adopt some of HB's techniques for Empathy Man! I love it.

Abusing him has really helped me pass some not-so-good time these last couple of days.:o

Oh no, I don't think we need his help. he actually got his idea from us, in the first place and said so.:)

This has definately been good fun and good therapy for me too.

Keep it going.:D

How was EM's day today? Isn't he about due for an exaserbation? But first I believe we need to get MRI's of both his brain and Spinal Cord. I've heard he's awfully claustrophobic.:D

Bummer dude.

:eek: Looks rather kinky. What in heavens did you do with the Gad., Cindy?:D

Yes, Please splain Lucy er Cindy.:p

LOL, it's a brain MRI! You guys are killing me! LOL!!!!! Thing is, it's looking pretty slim in the brain department. Click on the thumbnail to see Empathy Man's hollow head. Poor guy.

Should we let him sleep tonight? Maybe for a whole hour without pain or spazzes?

I don't know, I'm a little cranky, but what the heck ok, maybe even 2 hrs.:D

He gets to fly for 2 hours to another city for his MRI, but he has to get up at 4 am, drive to the airport, wait in a security line for 45 minutes, get put in the "we're going to strip search you line," then run for the flight cuz now you're late. Sit on flight next to 2 screaming kids, get to the hospital and get a tech who can't get the GAD IV started on the first try.

Now, for the MRI, whoo hoo....:(

Shoot him up with GAD, geez does that stuff burn :eek:

now, you get to go back to the airport, run for your flight, OMG, the security line is 3 blocks long and you haven't had anything to eat since 5 am (it's now noon!).

Ok, now you get on the flight. Yep all the way to the back and get a whole row to yourself. Yippee! Not so fast. Here comes the Brady Bunch. So much for a nap on the plane!

Are we having fun yet?

How to get an MRI in one day 450 miles away!

Empathy Man is going to bed! Ha ha ha ha :rolleyes:

But poor EM also has RLS (restless legs ) He starts kicking about and just can't get a good night sleep!

Oh yes, when he can manage to get someone to take him to the doc. The doc. says "you've been on that web site again. Its all in your head".

LMAO! That's so right! And every time he wipes out, we'll all chant, "But you look so good! But you look so good! But you look so good!"

EM...you need to exercise! What shall you do? Go try the Dreadmill! Hurry...pick up the pace...raise the incline. What do you mean you are getting over heated? What do you mean you can't walk when you are through?

Ruh Roh, Empathy Man, why are you just lying there on your face?? You're getting rubber road rash!