Hello friends, it hasnt been a very good new year for me. My husband just left. just like that. we celebrated our 12th aniversary all seemed well and then he just left. Futhermore he has notified me the has cut off all services to our home. And I am to find a way to care for myself. Im still in shock and of course the additional stress has not been a good thing for my rsd not good at all. If I were to write out the card he gve me just a week ago you too woudl be as shocked as i am. I have absolutley no idea what i will do , i spent all my money on treatments long ago. thank you cz( since he left me i will now be signing dc. thank you.

I am so sorry. Please hang in there.

XOXOX Sandy

CZ...

I am so sorry also... You must be feeling great surmountable pain right now..I am so so sorry for that.. Nothing percipated this you can think of?? Life is stress..my hope is he will talk it over with you..if it has RSD wrapped around it..I can appreciate how this illness, although not our fault..it can put our lives into a tail spin..Others can't live with it... and we have no control over it... My prayers and thoughts are with you... let us know how you are doing.. Again..I am so sorry!

KS

How horrible! Not only do we suffer with RSD, but our spouses/caretakers suffer as well. I'm sure we are not that "fun" to live with. Nonetheless, your husband has seem to forgotten his wedding vows and the situation could've been easily reversed. I get the sense that he is a weak person, and is cowardly exiting his existing life (marriage) because it's not "perfect". Because of your disease, he may feel as if you are "broken" (not realizing there is a beautiful soul inside just a damaged vehicle) and is past frustration because he cannot fix you. So sorry you are end the VERY short end of this!! Definately not fair. I hope your suffering is minimal, at best, and that the Lord has better plans for you. Time will only tell.

God Bless you!!! Vanna

Dear DC,

I can't imagine the horrible pain you must be experiencing right now, I'm in shock right there with you.

Once the reality of this sets in you are going to need a whole new set of skills to deal with this and they won't be handed to you easily. Dig deep for that strength you have inside and you will be able to get through this.

DC, I hope you have support from family and friends close by? Even with that help you may want to try to find a women's and or disability advocacy group (s). They may be able to help you find the right legal assistance. Since he is leaving you high and dry you will need to fight for your rights. I don't know your laws there but generally spousal support is granted in cases where there is a disability.

Please be gentle to yourself, you are a kind loving person and I am very sorry you are going through this. Remember we are all here for you.

Big hugs

MsL

Thank you all for the beautiful messages of encouragement, I am so happy I could post here. right now i feel like a person with 1000 pounds on them walking around so heavy and numb. He gave no reason but yest it is the money and rsd. I used to be the big breadwinner. But sadly apparently there is someone else in the picture too. He is going to someone.
I don't know how he could just throw me out like the thrash after 12 years and cut off any financial help. this was the first month he would have to pay the bills himself. Basically he left when i ran out of money.
Well I am hanging on to the love my sisters have shown me and I feel so blessed to have there love and support so I am a winner right there. they are such good people that to have there love and support i must be doing something right. well i need a long sleep. I really really appreciate your support. after i posted I saw Cakes post. I couldn't feel to sorry for myself when she has faced such serious tragic loss.Mine is just a coward(someone said that, Vanna I believe, and it is so true) leaving. thank you all so so much again i really need the support. and thanks Ms lady for the dc.(my new signature?

I'm very sorry for what you are going through. I do wonder how people can just walk out on a marriage like it was nothing.

A friend of mine went through this in May of last year. After 12 years her husband walked off and left her. She had no ideal. She had to close up her antique shop, let her home go, and find a job.

You might want to go to Social Services and see what help you can get and then if you haven't put in for your Social Security or SSI. I know it's going to be hard to focus on keeping yourself going financially because of the heartbreak and depression this is going to cause you, but you have to keep going.

I'm glad you can come here and talk to everyone here. Just vent all you want.

God bless you and help you through this hard time.

Ada

Dear CZZ74,
Wow, I am so sorry you are going through such terrible stuff...along with the RSD. I had gone through a terrible divorce about 16 years ago and had a son to worry about. I did not work and moved from place to place because he was a military officer. Thus, I had no job and no real skills and had to start from the bottom.

I know this is hard for you because you are probably numb right now but you must protect yourself legally.If you are not working and he is the main breadwinner he just made a booboo. He left you and that is considered abandonment. You need to contact an attorney and get a free consultation asap. I don't know if there are any mutual accounts but he should still be paying for all of it. Also, get a new checking account in your name only and close the other account. If you can find out who the other person is and any information would be great for your case. My ex had a girlfriend too so I know your pain. It hurts but you must protect yourself now. He made his choice and now he has to pay for his choices. Like someone said you should contact social security and/or your nearest welfare office. I see you are in FL. My friend told me a month ago that FL is one of the best places to be in as they have lots of money to give to people that really need it. Good luck and let us know how it works out. There will be a better life for you if you can get through this. If you have faith it will get you through it all.
Take care,
kathy d

Kathy I went to a good lawyer but he needs 5000 retainer. I am meeting with an estate man tomorrow to sell some things of mine in hope of raising it. that is also good news about the social services I will see when my sister can take me. I did look it up online and abondonment is a crime when someone is disabled. thank you that is good news. he actually said yoiu better see what social service you can get as he left to live in a 1000 dollar a month guest house in west palm beach for the season. I just am still in shock i am ttrying to move quickly but my body just wont work.
I dont even know where to begin. who to call etc. wow this is such good advice i cant thank you enough he already turned off the phone and cable i just cant believe he is doing this. I just really cant. thank you again so much do you knwo what i need to take with me to social services?

Dearest DC, You have our deepest concern and willingness to help in anyway we can. On your last question, you might call social services, and ask them what you should bring. Write down everything to bring. In fact, go back to the day he left, save the note and write down what happens each day and the date and time. Besides opening your own checking account, you no doubt have a joint checking account, maybe savings account. You can withdraw 50% less one penney from each of those accounts and put in your new personnal account. Do you have joint taxes due in April? Property Taxes due? Ask your attorney what to get your name off of, so you aren't stuck with the bill when, in truth, you both are probably accoutable.Of course, you will pay your part, but his actions and your disability may alter the percentages according to the law. Anybody that does this type of behavior, you can not trust, no matter how you feel. All the rules change. Please look out after yourself. Does he have a good job? Your attorney can direct you in what you can do. If you are not on disability and disability insurance, you need that as soon as possible. Have you received an inheritance that you spent on joint matters? Make sure you write all down.
I read all the other posts, and am glad you are getting support.Please know you are in our prayers. Your attorney will help you use his criminal act toward your good welfare. I'm so very sorry. You might want to call you Dr. and let him know what is happening in your life. You may need to up your meds temporarily. I lost a dear friend, Like a son to me. in a car wreck, and had to up my meds for a while. As you know, emotional pain directly affects our physical health
Back in the 80's when my parents died, I went into counseling and found journaling very helpful. We tend to put off crying etc. but it is emotionally healthy to go thru the grieving process YOU WILL BE OK! Meditation, Bible Reading, Prayer, Stretching, Taking Time Each Day For ourselves help us get thru tragic events. Please know we all care for you ,loretta with soft hugs